


Evangelion - Fallen Light

by progdor



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion, Star Trek
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe, Crossover, Multi, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-03
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-02-23 05:03:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 68,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23006185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/progdor/pseuds/progdor
Summary: 2390 - A young man by the name of Shinji Ikari boards the USS Tokyo after being summoned by his father to a remote colony in the Gamma Quadrant, once there he learns he is to pilot the strange ship known as the Evangelion against an enemy that threatens the entire galaxy.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8





	1. To Boldly Go

**2390**

Misato Katsuragi was struggling, she leaned back in her chair and let out a long sigh of exasperation. Her ready room was barren and empty, yet she looked around it for what seemed like the twentieth attempt to maybe find some inspiration. None came and all she was left with was the growing sense of frustration.

Making speeches wasn’t her thing, she much preferred springing into action and doing things on the spur of the moment. That was what had led her to this point, that was what made Misato Katsuragi, Misato Katsuragi. She wanted to be on her bridge, leading her crew and inspiring them through actions and orders, not delivering a long speech in a crowded cargo bay.

Yet, this was now part of the territory for her. When she accepted the promotion to the role of captain, she knew exactly what it meant for her. It meant expanding what she could do, it meant giving speeches, engaging in dialogue, and in the grand scheme of things, addressing her crew in a cramped cargo bay didn’t really seem like that big a deal. Not when in the future her words could be the difference between war and peace or life and death.

Nerves were starting to set in for her, as she nervously ran her hand through her long purple hair. This ship, named the USS Tokyo, the first of a new line of advance Galaxy class vessels was hers. In a few hours her crew, numbering nearly six hundred, would all be on board. Tomorrow they will have launched on their first mission.

Her words... Her actions will define this ship and its legacy, the lives of the crew will be in her hands. Not that long ago she was an eager commander who jumped at the chance for promotion. She hadn’t fought too far ahead, she hadn’t thought what the speeches, the consequences, the crew... She hadn’t stopped to think or ask herself if she was ready. She agreed to it, consequences be damned.

It was that attitude that had gotten Misato to the point of promotion though. It was an attitude that had served her well over the years. Misato was quick to act; she could be impulsive and could improvise. Sure, at times it had also gotten her into trouble as well. Her instructors had compared her to a certain Captain Kirk after her attempt at the Kobayashi Maru and she had been reprimanded a number of times for drunken punch ups involving Klingons.

She let out another sigh, wondering if maybe she should just tap into her improvisational skills once more.

_‘Keep the speech short... keep the speech sweet. Just give them some fluff about honour and duty and we’ll be fine. You’re not being graded on this.’_

The silence in the room was suddenly and thankfully broken by the sound of an alert on her main terminal. She eyed the screen to see it was an incoming communication from Starfleet Command.

‘Thank god!’ Misato muttered to herself before accepting the communication. The screen in front of her sprang to life, the image of a female Vulcan admiral appearing.

“Captain Katsuragi, how are the preparations going for the launch of the Tokyo?”

Misato gave a slight nod of her head, “Fine so far admiral. Engineering have reported in and are running their final set of diagnostics on the warp core. Our crew is at 90% with the final few arriving shortly via a carrier from Earth. Will you be joining us for the launch ceremony?”

“I am pleased to hear things are running on time.” The admiral politely nodded back, “I am actually contacting you regarding the launch ceremony. Command has seen fit to cancel the traditional launch ceremony at this time. We have your first assignment and Command are keen that you are on your way as soon as possible.”

Although somewhat relieved, Misato couldn’t help but frown at the sudden declaration. Breaking with tradition wasn’t exactly unheard of but it was uncommon. Immediately her mind wandered to what could cause such a thing, the Tokyo was an advanced ship, built to deal with an array of threats to the Federation whilst also furthering its cause but in case of emergencies they were perhaps better fitting ships?

“An urgent assignment? Has something happened?”

“No, it is in fact quite a simple assignment but it has been stipulated that you are to perform it as soon as is possible. So, as soon as the ship is ready to launch you are to do so. I am transmitting details to you now, you are to transport an individual by the name of Shinji Ikari to a colony known as NERV.”

Misato’s frown didn’t soften at what the admiral had to say. She shifted her eyes to the screen next to her, watching as the details of her ships first mission were transmitted to her. She cast aside the profile of her guest, instead focusing on the location of the colony, it was not one she was familiar with. It was the location that caused some concern, at first, she wondered if maybe it was a mistake but then... that would be a strange mistake.

“Admiral, are these co-ordinates correct? This is a system in the... Gamma Quadrant.”

The Admiral nodded, “Quite correct, information on the colony itself is scarce. We know that it was founded during the war with the Dominion and it operates outside of the Federation. Up until now we have had little, if any contact with it.”

“And the Dominion raised no objections to it being there?” Misato asked.

“None that we are aware of, but any objections will have been raised with the colony leader rather than with us.”

“Who founded it?”

“A former Federation Science officer by the name of Gendo Ikari. He and his wife were involved in advanced bio-engineering research. Shinji Ikari, as you have probably already deduced is his son. The request was made to us to transport him to the colony. Despite not being a part of the Federation, Command felt it was appropriate to aid in this matter.” The admiral explained to Misato.

“Understandable, what can we expect from the Dominion? I don’t expect them to make this easy for us.”

Misato was wary of the risk to her ship. Although tensions with the Dominion had eased since the war, the two factions tended to keep on another at a distance, with minimal interaction. There were a few open trade routes between Federation and Dominion space but the Federation tended to have little, if any, presence in the Gamma Quadrant. Misato knew that this meant the Tokyo would be alone and without any back up. Not a pleasant thought for the new captain.

Perhaps it was her own prejudices coming into play but she immensely disliked having to deal with the Dominion. Across the Federation the wounds of the war were still fresh for a vast many. Misato had enrolled during the height of the conflict and she could remember the chaos on Earth. She could remember seeing families torn apart by the war, the children suddenly made parentless and the parents suddenly made childless. She could remember the memorial walls set up in the Academy campus, the nervous cadets waiting for news and hoping their friends and family wouldn’t show up on them one day. There was a fear among many that one day they’re wake up face to face with the deadly Jem’Hadar.

“We have reached out to the Vorta and permission has been granted for us to travel through their space. There will be a series of checkpoints and scans the Tokyo will be subject to but aside from that you it should be simple.”

Misato wasn’t necessarily happy that her ship would be subject to scans from the Dominion but she knew there was little point protesting, it was what it was. Besides, she could hardly blame the Dominion for being cautious. Things weren’t easy in the Alpha Quadrant right now. Just as the Federation was beginning to recover from the war, Romulus was destroyed by a supernova. Billions of Romulans lost their lives and the once proud race reduced to isolated groups of struggling refugees.

It had caused a shift in power once again in the Quadrant, with the Romulans all but gone other races were vying for power and new tensions arose. Fingers were pointed by survivors, at the Federation, the grand superpower that was supposed to save them. Misato knew of the internal conflicts, the banning by the Federation of research into and development of synthetic lifeforms and the subsequent resignation of Jean Luc Picard.

Rumours had spread to all corners of the Federation and beyond, had the Federation done enough? Did they try at all? Who was behind the attack on Mars? Did the synthetics really go rogue or did someone plan it? All sorts of theories had been put forward, rogue Klingons who wanted to wipe out an ancient enemy. The Borg trying to interfere with the Federation once again. Android that had suddenly decided life must be wiped out.

Regardless of rumour, or scandal and discussion it all led to the fact that the path towards peace had many more twists before reaching its destination.

“Very well. When can we expect Mr Ikari?”

“He will be arriving on the final shuttlecraft with the remaining members of your crew.”

“Okay, I’ll have some quarters arranged for him and go to meet him when he arrives.”

“Very good captain, Admiral T’Saal out.”

The image of the Admiral left the screen, leaving Misato with only the faint humming of the ship’s engines for company. She tried to ignore the strange sensation that something was off about this mission. It was just a simple transport mission, nothing more, nothing less. She turned to the second monitor and brought up the details of the mission.

Information on NERV was scarce, if not non-existent. Much like T’Saal had said, it was founded in 2376 by Gendo Ikari for the purposes of Bio-Engineering research. Misato wondered what could have caused people to found a colony in such risky territory which immediately led her to wonder about the nature of the research. They were as far away from the Federation as could be, most of the time people want to maintain distance because what they’re doing isn’t necessarily fitting within the bounds of what is legal or moral.

_‘Gendo Ikari… A member of Starfleets Bio-Engineering team… Married to Yui Ikari who died in the SEELE Colony attack many years ago. One of the rare times the Borg have ventured into our space. He… founded the colony barely a year after she died and left Shinji back on Earth with relatives. I can’t imagine he’s been back to Earth since… Damn, a reunion between father and son._

Misato still had many questions but those would have to wait for now. She had her assignment; she had her ship and she had her crew. Shinji Ikari, for the duration of his stay was also a part of that crew and she was damned if she was going to let anything happen to them.

\---

_‘Father… Why now… Why after fourteen years have you called for me?’_

Shinji had been asking himself that question since he had been woken up this morning to the news. He kept his eyes fixed to the ground, clutching his backpack tightly to his chest and trying to ignore the excited chatter from the other occupants of the shuttle. It was a bunch of young Ensigns, some of them meeting one another for the first time, all sharing in the excitement of being part of the crew on this new Federation starship.

For Shinji, there was no excitement. Only a weighty feeling of dread. Maybe in some other circumstances he would be okay with this. He might even have been excited about going into a starship but now… all that was happening was those voices in his head and those anxious butterflies in his stomach were conspiring to tell him that nothing good could come of this.

It had been so long since he had seen his father, he had no idea what to say to him on seeing him again. He had no idea what his father was like now, what he looked like or sounded like. There had been no communication between the two in all that time apart, and so Shinji asked himself again.

_‘Why now?’_

There was a conflict in side of him, a war between two sides of him. One who had grown content with his life on Earth, that felt he shouldn’t have agreed to this. That he should have remained living on his own, working at that restaurant. It wasn’t much but he was at least…living.

There was the other side of him that was spurring him on to do this, to reunite with his father again, but for what purpose. Shinji couldn’t decide, did he want to berate his father for abandoning him like he did? Did he want to tell him he hated him? Or did he just want love and acceptance from him?

_‘I don’t… even know what he looks like now.’_

Shinji had nothing of his father, of his family. All he had was the image he would conjure up in his nightmares. The one where his father leaves him standing, crying with his aunt and uncle. The one where all Shinji can do is watch, glued to the spot as his father gets onto the shuttle, never to be seen or heard from again. All he had was the image of that face, the cold emotionless expression and those eyes of steel.

_‘Why am I doing this? It feels wrong, he summons me and I… just agree to it. I didn’t offer any resistance but this… isn’t right!’_

Shinji still tried to search for that reason, was he doing it to get some answers? Did he really want to find out why he was abandoned all those years ago? Would an answer even satisfy him? Would any answer be good enough to justify those actions? Would he even want the truth, would it not just confirm his fear?

_‘I wasn’t good enough… I’ve never been good enough. I’ll never be good enough, is that why? Do you hate me father? Did mother hate me too?’_

“Hey there she is everyone! Come and take a look!”

Shinji was snapped out of his introspection by the shout of the Ensign. There was a flurry of activity as the other occupants of the shuttle moved to the other side to try and get their first glimpse of the vehicle. Shinji looked up himself, his eyes landing on the magnificent figure of the Galaxy-class ship. Even he had to admit, it was pretty impressive.

Shinji had grown up, like many others on Earth, reading all about the exploits of the various ships to be called Enterprise in Federation history. It was the Enterprise-D, captained by Jean-Luc Picard that he had always liked the most. He could remember many of the boys in his classes preferring Kirks.

He supposed it was the sense of family on Picards Enterprise that captured his imagination the most, the idea of this, at times, mismatched crew – The first Klingon in Starfleet, an Android – all finding a place to call home. A place he felt was home was something he had longed for; his aunt and uncle had done a good job but he never felt lie he had belonged.

He took another look at the ship, he had little to no idea about the technical specifications of it, unlike the excited Ensign across from him. A young man that Shinji had overheard was called ‘Aida.’ He had little difficulty in reciting the technical specs to a rather bored and muscular looking Ensign next to him.

_‘You know they were saying that they’ve fitted the saucer section with an additional pair of phaser arrays and it’s been upgraded to quantum torpedoes! It’s probably the most powerful ship in the fleet, aside from the Sovereigns but it makes up for that with a streamlined warp drive!’_

Shinji slipped his earbuds back in and le the music back into his ears, drowning out the sounds of the excited ensign and the other crew members. He clutched his bag just that little bit tight, once again coming back to the same question.

_‘Father… why?’_

\---

Misato was on her way to the shuttlebay to finally meet Shinji. She was running late, a few last-minute diagnostic reports unfortunately delaying her. She had also spent a little bit of time reading over the files relating to Shinji, NERV and Gendo Ikari but learned little else. She supposed given the nature of the mission there wasn’t much to learn.

Still, several things didn’t sit right with her, the nature of the founding of NERV and the sudden summoning seemed strange. As far as Shinji himself went, there was nothing remarkable about him. He seemed to have been a bright young man, competent in his studies, achieving grades at above average and at one point considered by his teachers to be a prime candidate for Starfleet, they at least said the potential was there.

It seemed he had a different plan, opting for a job as a chef in a restaurant in San Francisco. Still the reviews for the place seemed to be good.

 _‘That’s something at least’_ Misato mused, _‘Poor kid, father leaves him in the care of others at such a young age. Probably took a toll on him and now he’s been summoned like this… Fathers can be so irresponsible.’_

She paused as she entered the vast shuttlebay, it was empty, save for the one lone man standing by one of the shuttles. Misato felt a surge of embarrassment as moved towards him, here she was the captain of one of the Federations finest and she was late to a simple meeting. Even worse, he had been left here on his own, how embarrassing.

As she approached, she took a bit of time to study him, he looked nervous and awkward, his eyes staring at the ground. He was a solemn figure, decked out in a white shirt, plain black trousers and neatly cut brown hair. He looked the sort of person that could blend into a crowd easily, you’d see him and not really think twice about him.

“Mr Ikari?” She called out as she approached.

Shinji looked up, his gaze meeting hers. There looked to be the hint of a smile on his face, “Captain Katsuragi?”

She extended her hand to shake his, “I apologize for being late and the circumstances of your arrival. Please let it be known I will be speaking to the crew and reprimanding the one responsible. You should not have been left here on your own.”

“I.. It’s okay. I wasn’t waiting too long. I’m sorry if I’ve caused you any trouble.”

“You haven’t caused us any trouble!” Misato moved quickly to reassure him, “We’re more than happy to have a guest on board. If you’ll allow me to, I can show you to your quarters?”

“Okay.”

Shinji began to follow Misato out of the shuttlebay and into the main corridor of the ship. As they moved through Shinji noticed the flurry of activity as personnel moved back and forth, presumably preparing for the actual launch of the ship. Once again, he thought that maybe in other circumstances, he’d be excited to be part of this. It wasn’t everyday a civilian got to experience a ship as it launched.

“Now Shinji, I want you to know that you are our guest and as such please don’t feel you’re restricted to your quarters. On decks 10 and 11 you’ll find our holodecks, we have a recreational lounge, also on deck 10 and on deck 12 you’ll find a gymnasium. You will be in our guest quarters on deck 9. I will of course be giving providing you a full our of the ship when time permits but until that time please feel free to ask a member of the crew of consult the ships computers.” Misato explained to him as they walked.

“Captain.” Shinji suddenly interrupted her, the two of them came to a stop, “Do you… know why my father suddenly called for me?”

Misato frowned, “You mean to say you don’t know?”

Admittedly, she was hoping that Shinji would have known the answer to that question at least. What had seemed like an unusual, albeit simple, request had taken yet another turn. This was a trip that was going to take Shinji three and a half weeks, and Shinji didn’t even know why.

“No, I… got a message this morning from my father simply asking me to go to the NERV Colony. It said all the necessary arrangements had been made and someone from Starfleet would be getting in contact with me.” Shinji answered her, “There was… nothing else besides that.”

“Pardon me for asking this but… have you had any contact with him before now?”

There was an uncomfortable silence, Misato wondered if maybe she had already tried to dig too much with her question. After all, her task was to transport him, she wasn’t supposed to get involved. Still, a part of her didn’t want to ignore this.

“Shinji, it’s fine if you don’t want to answer.” Misato broke the silence, “My task is to transport you there and I will do that, if it is what you want but I want you to know one thing, while you are on my starship, despite the lack of uniform and you being a civilian, you are a member of this crew and you are under my protection. If you don’t want to do this, for whatever reason, I can contact Starfleet Command and explain as much to them. You are free to do as you wish, no one is forcing you.”

Shinji nodded, “I know that, thank you. My… aunt said as much to me. I haven’t heard from my father in fourteen years and he suddenly summoned me… I… want to know why.”

She reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder, feeling her heart tighten at his words. It wasn’t difficult for her to put herself in his shoes.

_‘I won’t get the chance to ask my father about the decisions he made, to ask him why but Shinji… he will, if I can help him… Then I will.’_

“I understand.” She nodded, “Tell you what, how about we take a detour before I show you to my quarters. This is your first time on a starship, right?”

He nodded, “Yes.”

“in which case, let me show you something that very few civillians get the chance to see.” He started to follow her again as she moved into the nearest turbolift, “Computer, deck 1, bridge!”

\---

The bridge? Shinji didn’t object to Misato’s sudden change of plans, despite hoping that he could just go back to his quarters. While he appreciated her gesture and the offer of freedom of the ship he just wanted to go to his quarters and stay there until they arrived at NERV.

As they stepped out of the turbolift onto the bridge, Shinji became keenly aware of the stares of the bridge crew on him. They must have been wondering who this civilian was and what the hell he was doing on their bridge. He tried to keep his eyes ahead, trying to not caught anyone’s eye.

“Captain on the bridge.” Announced a science officer, a brief look at their pips told Shinji she held the rank of commander.

Misato nodded in the commander’s direction, “Commander Ibuki, thank you.”

Misato stopped and took a quick look around the bridge, after a moment she moved forward, positioning herself in the centre of the bridge, “I’ll try to not take up too much time with this, I know you are all busy with final preparations and eager to get going, as am I.”

“As you all know we have our first assignment from Starfleet, we are to transport Shinji to a colony in the Gamma Quadrant. During the time he is on board I want you all to ensure our guest is safe and treated lie one of our own. I want him to feel that this ship is as much his home as it is yours. Am I understood?”

From around the bridge crew Shinji heard the replied of ‘Aye Captain’, he felt himself glow red with embarrassment as being put in the spotlight like this.

“Onto other business, Starfleet wants us to leave as soon as possible which means we will not be undergoing the traditional launch ceremony. Admittedly I’m not really one for grand speeches and ceremonies but I feel it would be inappropriate if I didn’t say something. You are my crew and this ship is now our home. We all serve the Federation in its mission, to explore new worlds, seek out new life and represent the best of what we have to offer. Some of you applied to be on this ship and others were hand picked but you are all here because it is believed you will serve that mission and this ship proudly. I expect your best, and in return I will give you my best.”

Misato turned to look at Shinji, “Allow me to introduce my senior staff.”

She nodded towards the commander Shinji had seen earlier, “This is Commander Maya Ibuki, our Chief Medical Officer and for the time acting First Officer.”

Her gaze then shifted towards the first of two men on the bridge. He was a long haired man, wearing a gold services undershirt, “This is Lieutenant Commander Shigeru Aoba, our Chief of Security. Standing next to him is our Chief of Engineering, Makoto Hyuga.”

Hyuga was a little bit shorter than Aoba, had short black hair and wore a VISOR. Both men seemed friendly and warm, putting Shinji slightly more at ease.

The next person Misato turned her gaze to was the woman who had been occupying the helm position, she was a young Bajoran, “This is our helmsman, Lieutenant Enel Soya, next to her is our Communications officer, Liutenant Bresha.”

Bresha was a Ferenghi, a fact that surprised Shinji, there can’t have been too many Ferenghi serving in Starfleet at the moment. The two ladies smiled politely at Shinji and greeted him as Misato beckoned Shinji over, “Shinji, take the seat to my left, the rest of you back to your stations, let’s get this show on the road.”

There were further replies of ‘Aye Captain’ as the crews attention returned to their stations. Shinji sat himself down, placing his backpack down in front of him. He looked ahead out of the viewscreen. Ibuki took the seat on the other side of Misato.

“All stations, status report.” Misato called out.

“Engineering reporting in, warp core diagnostics complete, impulse engines are being brought online. We are ready to go captain.” Replied Hyuga.

Aoba was next, “Tactical reporting in, we are ready.”

“Docking clamps have been released, we are ready to move out on your word.” Soya checked in.

Finally, Bresha answered, “We have received communications from the shipyard, they have given us the all clear to move on your word. They send their regards and wish us luck.”

“Very well.” Misato nodded and smiled, “Soya, take us forward at one quarter impulse and begin to lay in a course to Deep Space 9.”

“Aye captain.”

In this moment in time all the fear, doubt and questions Shinji had were cast aside and replaced with a feeling of excitement and joy. He couldn’t stop himself from smiling as the ship’s engines began to hum that little bit louder and the vessel started to move forward.

“We are clear of the shipyard, I’ve laid in a course to Deep Space 9.” Reported Soya.

“Very good. Hyuga, is the warp drive ready?”

“Warp Drive is being brought online Captain.” He answered, “Just a few more seconds… and…. Done!”

Misato leaned back in her seat and took one final look around the bridge. Shinji wondered if she and the rest of the crew had the same butterflies in their stomach that he did. This was the first mission for this starship, the first time it would go to warp… and the first time he had been on a starship and flown at warp speed himself.

He had read so many stories growing up about these amazing vessels and what they had done and what they were capable of. Now he was going to be part of that story himself. If nothing else, if he didn’t get the answers he sought from his father he could maybe treasure this moment.

Misato leaned forward, a prideful smile on her face as she simple pointed forward, “Engage.”


	2. Where Even the Dominion Don't Go

“We’re getting a report from the Federation ship Hakone, the armada has reached its destination sir.”

“Put it on screen.” Gendo Ikari ordered, adjusting his glasses with a gloved white hand. The large screen at the front of the command room sprung to life, changing from a star map to a view from a Federation starship. Several other screens around it also came to life, showing the full size of the imposing armada. It was an unholy union of Federation, Klingon, Jem’Hadar, Romulan, as well as various other ships from Alpha/Beta/Gamma quadrant races.

“So many ships… all for nothing.” Fuyutsuki muttered into Gendo’s ear, “So many lives will be lost for a pointless show of strength.”

“Indeed.” Gendo answered coldly.

To Gendo’s left stood representatives of the four main superpowers that had contributed towards this Armada. A Starfleet Admiral, a member of the Vorta, a Klingon general and finishing up the group was a member of the elusive Tal Shiar. Between those four groups at least seventeen ships had been contributed, five Federation starships, five Klingon battlecruisers, five Jem’Hadar fighters and two Romulan warbirds. The other groups had donated between one to three ships each, bringing the size of the armada up to around thirty.

“Hakone reporting in, they’re picking up a new vessel entering the system.”

“Tell them to open hailing frequencies and broadcast the message we agreed in, there is still room for diplomacy here.” The Federation admiral spoke.

“Hah.” The Klingon general barked, “Diplomacy? We will not be showing them any quarter! Klingon ships, ready weapons.”

As he gave his order the new vessel came into view, drawing awe from all occupants of the command centre, except it seemed, for Gendo Ikari whose expression remained unchanged, his hands folded neatly in front of his face. If anything, you could say there was the faintest hint of a smile on his lips.

“So, this is it? The first ship the Angels are going to throw at us.” Fuyutsuki murmured to himself.

The vessel on screen was a visibly imposing hulk of a ship, roughly one and a half times the size of one of the warbirds, it was by far the largest vessel in the system. It’s main hull was rounded, with the rear curving inwards. At the very top of the hull was a large, blood red, half sphere, held in place by greying fragments resembling bones. At the front of the ship was a circular skull like figure, it’s two disc-like eyes holding within a jet-black nothingness and the jaw formed into a long beak-like shape, completing the ships skeletal resemblance.

There was nothing on the ship to indicate weapons, engines or any other sort of system, there were no lights and there was no answer to their hails. There was no comparison to anything any of them had seen before either, this didn’t look like a ship that had been designed, but rather something born from a nightmare.

“One measly ship, do they dare to mock us?” The Klingon roared, “I thought you said this was a threat to us Ikari? This is nothing more than a distraction, Klingon ships, attack!”

The Klingon ships could be seen to start moving forward but no sooner had they sprung to life then so to did the unknown vessel. It didn’t move, but there was a bright flash followed by three phaser-like bursts from the hull of the ship. Two of the Klingon vessels were instantly vaporized by the fire, their ships going up in a unique cross shaped explosion, the third vessel narrowly managing to dodge out of the way so as to not take the full hit but leaving it still severely damaged.

The rest of the fleet needed no further orders from the command centre as every other ship now sprang into action. It was the Hakone, a Sovereign class ship that led the charge for the Federation, letting forth a hail of quantum torpedoes towards its target and managing to avoid an attack by the skin of its teeth. The other four Federation ships followed suit, firing a dizzying array of torpedoes and phasers whilst also trying to dodge the attacks from the enemy vessel.

The two Romulan Warbirds clocked themselves as next the five Jem’Hadar ships moved in. Their tactic was not too dissimilar to the Federation ships, attack in waves, unloading all weaponry they could onto the hull of the enemy in a desperate attempt to destroy it. The Jem’Hadar were backed up by the remaining Klingon Birds of Prey.

Behind the vessel the Romulan Warbirds uncloaked to unleash their own torrent of torpedoes and phase cannons. They were backed up by the other participants in the Armada. Time passed as the fleet continued its sustained attack on the vessel, attacking in waves, cloaking and uncloaking and staying the hell away from the phaser attacks from the ship.

After the initial shock of the two Klingon vessels being unceremoniously destroyed the mood in the command centre seemed to be changing. There was perhaps a sense of optimism, and the Klingon general, he had witnessed his men and women die in glory, so he wasn’t angry about losing his ships. Perhaps they would get through this, after all, how much could one vessel handle?

“It looks like perhaps we won’t be needing your new toy Ikari.” The Federation officer turned his head smugly towards Gendo, “We have this under control.”

As he said those words the fleet continued their relentless assault, firing phaser after phaser, torpedo after torpedo, mine after mine at the enemy. As more time passed the sense of optimism was growing to frustration as each attack seemed to just bounce off of the vessel.

“This shielding… it’s frustratingly persistent.” The Vorta mused.

“It’s an A.T. Field…” Fuyutsuki answered, “Impenetrable by conventional weapons.”

“We fought and defeated the Borg!” The Federation Admiral snapped back, “These will fall as well!”

Almost as soon as those words left the admirals lips, he started to regret them. The two Romulan Warbirds had cloaked again, presumably to get into a better position and at this point the enemy ship had been lying dormant for some time. No one dared to say it but maybe the tide was turning, perhaps one of their attacks had knocked the vessels weapons offline!

That optimism started to fade on witnessing the ship beginning to glow, all four representatives could see what was going to happen but before any of them could give the order for evasive maneuvers the glow stopped. It was too late! A bright spherical shockwave was sent out by the ship, one by one, no matter how fast, each of the ships in the fleet were caught up in the pulse and one by one they all exploded much like the Klingon ships at the start of the fight with a bright, brilliant and bizarre white cross shaped explosion.

When all was said and done all that remained, somehow, were three quarters of a Romulan Warbird, a Jem’Hadar warship and half a Klingon Bird of Prey. No further orders were uttered as the three ships on screen did not try to retreat, instead in one final move of desperation they each began moving towards the enemy vessel. The probe recording this battle for the command centre retreating from the scene, the last thing it caught before going offline was the sight of the final three ships crashing into the enemy and one more deadly bright white cross.

Silence filled the command centre, not one person daring to speak, all their eyes were glued to the screen in a mix of fear and astonishment. This one single ship had managed to wipe out an entire armada of thirty ships from a mix of various superpowers. Thousands of lives had been lost in little under ten minutes. Not since Wolf 359 had they seen destruction and experienced terror on such a scale.

“That has to have done it… Surely it can’t have survived that.” The Vorta representative broke the silence, their voice betraying their belief in what they had said, “Get that probe back online, I want visuals!”

“B-Bringing the probe back online.” A fearful technician near the front of the room answered.

When the probe came back online all it did was serve to confirm everyone’s fears, the ship was still there and surrounding it were the scattered remains of the armada. All ships, obliterated by this one fearsome entity. There had been little change, the skull-like mask at the front had some signs of visible damage and the orb at the top of the ship was now pulsing, some of the fragments around it also showing signs of damage.

“What is the status of the ship?” The Federation admiral asked, his voice shaking.

“It’s holding for now; initial analysis shows an eight point three seven two reduction in the hull.”

“We barely even put a dent in it…” Fuyutsuki said, “Do we know what it’s doing now?”

“I’m not sure… Long range scans are faint but it… I think it’s regenerating! Yes, out probe is showing very minute activity in the hull.” The officer replied.

“In which case we might have bought ourselves some extra time.” Fuyutsuki mused, “What’s the estimate on it arriving here.”

“If it’s repairing itself to one hundred percent and it tracks at the speed we recorded previously, then it should arrive in the system in… seven days.”

Fuyutsuki nodded, there was nothing more he had to ask or say regarding the situation, all he could feel was a sorrow at the needless loss of life. The four representatives were now chatting among themselves. It didn’t take a genius for figure out what they were talking about, it was just as Gendo had predicted. A ridiculous display of power followed by failure.

“Ikari.” The Federation admiral spoke, “It would seem it is time for you to show us what you are capable of. We are handing over control of this operation to NERV.”

“Although I fail to understand how you will succeed where we have failed, it is far better than us throwing more of our, already limited resources at the problem. Do what you must Ikari, but know this, we will be watching you.” The Romulan representative narrowed her eyes as she spoke. Whether she was speaking out of fear or to intimidate Gendo, he remained unmoved.

Instead he rose from his seat, adjusting his glasses once more with a gloved hand, “I understand, we will now take command of this operation. Rest assured you have nothing to worry about, defeating the Angels is exactly what NERV was created for.”

\---

**USS Tokyo**

They had been in flight for just over two weeks, so far it had been an uneventful journey. They had stuck to their route, cleared the checkpoints and avoided contact with anyone. For Misato it felt like a missed opportunity, this was a new ship with a fresh crew and they were bypassing so many worlds. There was so much they could have learned but there was also the looming Dominion to keep them in check.

As for her guard, she had not seen or heard anything of the young Shinji Ikari since their dinner together the first night he was onboard. She knew it was none of her business, Shinji was an adult and able to make his own decisions but something about him concerned her.

Her discussion with him just dug up a story of a man who was existing. He had no real direction in life, his job he had gotten because his uncle was friends with the owner of the restaurant. He seemed to have little to no faith in his own abilities, he didn’t really confirm whether or not he liked what he did. Misato was almost certain that Shinji hadn’t made use of any of the facilities on the ship.

She of course, recognized that things probably hadn’t been easy for him, there was a lot mentally that affected him but that just raised more questions. Why had his father left him so many years ago? What did his aunt and uncle do to help him? Did Shinji reject any help?

_‘You’re an interesting one Shinji Ikari...’_

She started to sip her coffee just as a communications alert went off.

“Go ahead.” She replied.

_“Captain, we’re approaching the final Vorta checkpoint. You might want to come and take a look at this.”_

“On my way.” She let out a sigh as she placed the almost full coffee cup back down on her desk. _‘Just as it was getting good to drink as well.’_

As she stepped out of her ready room and onto the bridge she was about to ask, sarcastically, why a simple checkpoint was enough to pull her away from her coffee. A quick look at the viewscreen revealed all she needed to know. This wasn’t just a checkpoint, this was an armada, a vast array of Jem’Hadar ships. The sort she had nightmares about back in the academy.

“Yellow alert.” Misato ordered.

“Aye captain.” Replied Aoba.

“Bresha, hail them. I’d like to find out why we seem to have such a welcoming committee”

“Opening a hailing frequency now captain.”

Misato had only just managed to take her seat when the face of a Vorta, another Weyoun, appeared on screen. Unlike the others there was no cheery demenous, just a solemn expression. Misato felt one hand grip the arm of her seat tensely.

“Captain Katsuragi, we have been expecting you.”

“Yes, it would seem you have been.” Misato answered, “Quite the number of ships you have there, is there a problem?”

“There has been... an incident. Nothing for the Federation to concern itself with, just a few local issues.” He replied, “We will proceed with the scans as agreed and let you through. I would however advise that you carry out your business at NERV and return yourself to Federation space as soon as possible. For your own safety, I hope you understand?”

_‘Was that a threat? At this point, but why?’_

“Don’t worry, we have no intention of overstaying our welcome in the Gamma Quadrant. Plenty of space in the Alpha or Beta quadrants to explore, might even try for a trip to the Delta if we find the time.”

“Very good.” Weyoun replied completely deflecting Misatos attempt at a joke. “Please try to understand, what I said wasn’t a threat but a warning. When you pass this checkpoint, you are no longer in Dominion territory and as such, we can no longer offer you our protection.”

“I’ll keep that in mind, Katsuragi out.”

Misato fumed as she sat back in her seat and the now familiar process of the Dominions scans took place. Only now instead of a Vorta ship and two Jem’Hadar fights she was staring out at a fleet of the Federations deadliest enemy. She turned to her first officer, Maya did not look impressed either.

“Got under your skin too, huh?”

“You could say that, what do you think? Is this some impressive display of power by them? ‘Be careful Federation, we have you by the balls.”

“Perhaps.” Maya answered, “Or maybe something has gotten them nervous. Why would the Dominion need to mobilize so many ships? We know how much damage just a single Jem’Hadar fighter can do but that many... they could take on an entire race with that.”

“Nervous... Why would the Dominion be nervous?”

“I don’t know... But if there is something that makes them nervous, then maybe we should take notice of what Weyoun said and be done here as soon as possible.”

\---

Shinji’s heart was pounding in his chest as he exited the turbolift and stepped into the transporter room. He had been summoned only moments before, told that they had finally reached their destination. After three weeks and two days they were here, the colony his father had lived at for fourteen years. Standing in the middle of the room was Captain Katsuragi, her smile warm and friendly, behind her were three officers Shinji didn’t recognize. There was a human woman, maybe around the same age as he was, a human man and an Andorian male.

He felt awkward as he approached Katsuragi, he felt like he had been a burden on the ship and its crew, despite him having stayed in his quarters for the whole journey. That in turn also made him feel guilty, because he felt like he had been ungrateful towards her with her offer of hospitality. He also became very self-aware of his own appearance, he was wearing pretty much the same thing he had been when he came on board.

This thought in turn led to his own feelings of being pathetic, for owning little more than plain shirts, black trousers and pyjamas. He should have more than that, he should be taking more pride in himself but he just didn’t care, or didn’t see the point.

Everything in his mind seemed to be conspiring to put himself in a negative space, it wasn’t uncommon for Shinji to be like this, after all he had grown up berating himself for so much. He blamed himself for his father leaving, always thought he wasn’t good enough and worthless, he had wanted to prove otherwise but then thought what would be the point?

“Are you ready Shinji?”

He nodded, although within himself he was screaming no. Of course he wasn’t ready for this, nothing could adequately prepare him for this moment. In just a few minutes he’d be transported to that planet he had seen from his quarters, he would see his father again. It was a reunion fourteen years in the making. What would Shinji even say? There were questions he wanted to ask, there were things he wanted to know, emotions he wanted to get out but he knew what was going to happen already. He was going to freeze up.

He walked past Misato and positioned himself on the transport pad. The three officers taking up positions around him, Misato standing in front of him. This was the last time he’d say this ship, only now had he wished he had taken the time to see more of it. Only now did he want to explore it, to see what it could do, to visit its holodeck or lounge, to… interact with its crew.

“Five to beam down, energize.” Misato ordered.

Shinji saw the shimmer of light in front of him, this was followed by a strange warm sensation that spread throughout his body. This continued as the room vanished and suddenly the realization of what was happening to him set in. It was a strange feeling, to be aware that your body was being deconstructed and reconstructed. Logically he knew it was safe, millions upon millions of transporters were used every day within incident. Before any form of panic could set in, a new room was materializing in front of him.

He clenched his hand into a fist a couple of times, a nervous tick he had developed over the years now also serving to tell him he had been reconstructed correctly. He let out a sigh of relief knowing that his hand was not now attached to his head. Finally, he took a look around this new transporter room.

It was darker and more forbidding then the environment on the ship, the warmth of a Federation starship had given way to metallic greys and functionality. Colourful LCARs displays had transformed to drab monotony. The rooms most striking feature however was the logo of NERV hung above the entrance, it was a fig leaf cut in half and sat on an angle. The lets of NERV positioned to its left, circling the base of the logo were the words, “God’s in his heaven, All’s right with the world.”

“Captain Katsuragi, welcome to NERV.” An older man with greying hair stepped forward. He was wearing what Shinji presumed to be the uniform of this colony, “My name is Kozo Fuyutsuki, I am the colonies sub-commander, and I assume that this is Shinji Ikari.”

Shinji stepped forward off of the platform, watched keenly by Fuyutsuki. He felt a strange fleeting sense of recognition as he studied the old mans face and heard him introduce himself. It was almost as if he had heard that name once before, but whatever sense he had it was gone in an instant. Shinji shook the man’s hand, “I… I am Shinji, Is… my father here?”

Kozo nodded, “He is indeed, I can imagine you’re eager to see him.”

“Y… Yes…” Shinji answered, not quite believing his own words. Was he eager to see his father again? That nervous feeling within his stomach was only swelling when he thought about it. The reality of the situation was starting to get to him, this was going to happen. When he was on board the Tokyo it still felt like it might not, like it was a dream he’d wake up from.

“Captain Katsuragi, allow me to escort you and your team.”

Shinji saw Misato nod and followed her and Fuyutsuki out of the transporter room and into a lengthy corridor. The corridor was just as cold and metallic as the transporter room was, it was so far away from the warmth of the USS Tokyo that Shinji really started to regret not making the most of his time on the ship.

_‘Maybe outside of this… it’s better, I mean this is some sort of station where people work right?’_

As they walked Shinji started to wonder what was going to happen to him after he had seen his father. Was NERV to become his new home? Did his father just want to see him and then Shinji would leave? Or was this goodbye to Earth and the life he had known?

What was it he wanted? He knew that he wanted to see his father again, he had wanted that for a long time and he wanted answers to his questions. Yet, he was also comfortable in the life he had and being away from it just didn’t feel right.

“Captain, let it be known that both myself and commander Ikari appreciate you and your crew bringing Shinji to us at such short notice, I also apologize for any inconvenience you may have faced. I would like it to be known that yourself and your crew are free to take advantage of the colony and what it has to offer during your stay here.”

“Whilst I appreciate the offer, we don’t intend to be here for very long. It is, after all, a long way back to Federation space.”

“I understand.”

Silence followed as the group continued walking through the maze-like corridors of NERV. Finally, they reached another door, the sign indicating it was a conference room. Kozo held up a security card to a panel and the doors slid open, revealing a large, brightly lit room with a long circular table within.

“Captain, I am afraid your security team will have to wait outside.”

Shinji saw Misato frown, “What about Shinji, he’s a civilian?”

“Shinji is fine, I am, after all the one who summoned him here.”

Shinji felt a chill go down his spine upon hearing that voice, it was a voice that he had not heard in fourteen years. He looked through the door to see the man at the opposite end of the room. Strangely he didn’t seem all that different to the one in Shinji’s memories. Maybe a little bit older, a little bit greyer but it was the same man. His eyes hidden behind dark framed glasses, gloved hands, the short brown hair and the neatly trimmed facial hair.

“Father.”

“Hello Shinji, it’s been a while.”

His voice was cold and so devoid of emotion a person might mistake him for a Vulcan. A part of Shinji wanted to explode at him, to run across the room, grab him and pin him up against the wall! To demand answers, why had he been summoned like this? Why hadn’t he been in contact in fourteen years? Why did he abandon him? Why weren’t his first words, ‘I’m sorry’?

Instead, all Shinji could do was lower his eyes, freeze up and say nothing as he was guided towards a seat between Misato and a Klingon. When seated he took the time to observe the other occupants of the room, next to the Klingon was a Romulan, next to her a Federation admiral and next to her a Vorta. Fuyutsuki took up a position on one side of Shinji’s father, on the other side was another human woman. She was wearing a long white labcoat, Shinji could spy a black Federation uniform underneath. It bore a badge with an insignia not dissimilar to Misato’s but not identical either.

“Akagi…” He heard Misato mutter under her breath, “What the hell is she doing here?”

Shinji turned towards Misato, keeping his voice as quiet as he could as he inquired about the blonde-haired woman in the lab coat, “Do… You know her?”

Misato nodded, “You could say that, “We were close friends back at the academy. Ritsuko Akagi, one of the best minds in the Federation. Last I heard she was at Starbase 515, researching advanced nanomedicine. I tried to get her for my crew but… it wasn’t to be.”

“Oh…”

Shinji was about to prepare a follow up question but before he could even think of one his father started to speak, “Now that our guests have arrived, we can begin. Dr Akagi, would you please let everyone know of our situation.”

“Of course.” Ritsuko stepped forward and the lights in the room started to dim, in the centre of the table a holographic display came to life and displayed a ship of some sort. Shinji had to do his best to not gasp at its image. It was unlike any starship he had seen before. It was a nightmarish image, as if someone had created it with the sole aim of scaring people. Even a Borg cube didn’t seem quite as intimidating as this.

“Approximately one year ago, NERV received a transmission from a system which was estimate to be located six thousand light years from here. It was in a language unfamiliar to us at first and one that took some time to translate but on doing so we were able to gather two pieces of information. One of which was a date, todays date and the other was one word, ‘destroy.’”

Shinji was wondering if the others in the room could hear his heart thumping rapidly in his chest. He felt a sense of nausea as he looked around the room, surely his father hadn’t brought him here just to hear this? Why did he have to hear this?

“We took it to be a warning and as per the agreement with the Dominion for operating in this system it was brought to the attention of the Vorta. This information was then promptly passed onto the Federation, then the Klingon and Romulan councils. It was highly classified known only to certain representatives and an agreement was put in place to investigate as best we could. Over the course of the last year we have made numerous attempts to communicate with those broadcasting, our attempts seemingly in vain as further messages have been variations on the same word, ‘destroy’, ’kill’, ’eradicate’, ’exterminate’ and ‘genocide.’”

Ritsuko paused to allow Misato to ask a question, “Not exactly friendly sounding, are they?” Do we have any idea who they are? Gamma quadrant is Dominion territory, surely our Vorta friend here must have some idea.”

The Vorta started to answer, “Whilst you are correct that the Gamma quadrant is mostly Dominion territory, we do not occupy all corners, there are places that… even the Dominion do not venture. There have been numerous… stories, shall we say of early Dominion explorers heading in that direction, never to be seen again.”

“Stories?” Misato raised an eyebrow, “Forgive me but that sounds like nothing more then the sort of legends you tell to frighten children. Do we have any confirmation of these expeditions?”

“We are talking about incidents dating back millennia captain, we do not have records for that time yet the Founders have long memories and one does not question the Founders in such matters.” The Vorta answered.

“So… they’re scared of whatever is coming?”

“The Founders fear nothing but they are smart enough to know when to exercise caution.”

Ritsuko suddenly cut back in before anything else could be said, “Moving on, our attempts to communicate seemed to go nowhere and there was an acknowledgement that whatever was coming was not friendly. Long range scans did pick up something coming and so plans were put in place to have a fleet of ships ready for when it arrived. An armada made up of Klingon, Romulan, Jem’Hadar, Federation and a number of other allied ships were sent out. That was seven days ago.”

Shinji’s stomach lurched once more as Misato asked her next question, he didn’t need a trained officer to tell him the answer though, “What happened to the fleet.”

“Destroyed.” Ritsuko answered, “Every last one of them.”

“And the enemy ship?”

“Minimal damage, they bought us a bit of time but that is about it.”

Shinji’s nailed were digging into the palm of his hand as he clenched his hands tightly into a first. The room fell into complete silence leaving him to think about the lives lost in that fight. It was… unfathomable, thousands of lives… all gone in an instant. Why had he been brought here? Was it to be told this? Was it to just… die?”

“I think I understand now… the fleet of Jem’Hadar, the urgency of the mission and my ship being called.” Misato nodded, “Okay, if you’ll allow me the time then I can prepare the Tokyo to begin evacuation procedures. The timing might be tight but we can manage it, how long do we have?”

“We are not evacuating NERV.” Gendo replied.

“Not evacuating?” Misato answered, “Commander, I appreciate NERV is not a Federation colony and you are all free to do as you see fit but there are hundreds of lives here. It would be in your best interests to evacuate.”

“Forget it Captain, we have already made the suggestion ourselves.” The Vorta answered her, “Whilst we appreciate relations between our peoples are strained, the aid the Federation has offered us over years has been invaluable and we repay our debts. We have offered to take the people of NERV to another planet or even back to the Federation, yet Ikari is convinced he can succeed where we have failed.”

“Impossible.” Misato replied, “It took down an armada of the best we all had to offer. You know nothing about it, if all those ships can’t defeat it then how can you possibly?”

“Because we have been preparing for this moment.” Ritsuko answered her, as she did a new ship appeared on the display, “This is the experimental ship Evangelion Unit 01, operated by a single pilot and backed up by a skeleton crew of three.”

Shinji ran his eyes over the new craft, much like the enemy vessel this too didn’t look like anything he had seen before. It was a dark purple diamond shape, with two nacelles protruding from either side of it. Around the ship were various marking and dark green plates. Compared to the other ship it was minute. He wasn’t an expert on starships but he was sure this wouldn’t stand a chance.

“You believe… that one ship can succeed where so many failed?” Misato asked, clearly not believing for a second it stood a chance.

“It is barely the size of a Defiant class vessel! Also, there is only one, how can it possibly manage!” The admiral spoke up.

“Admiral, you seem to forget that your Federation Defiant was made for combat with the Borg. Whilst the ship we are facing is impressive it would still be dwarfed by a Borg cube, I do not foresee size being an issue.” Gendo answered her, “As regards your question Captain, it is not a matter of belief. The Evangelion was build specifically to combat this thread, this is why NERV exists.”

“Made to combat it? Wait, so you knew about it in advance? How? Why wasn’t someone told sooner?”

Misato was quickly cut off by him, “Captain, I appreciate you must have many questions and I can provide answers but time is of the essence. We do not have long left until it arrives here and we risk losing this colony but also the rest of the galaxy. If NERV falls, so too does the Dominion, then the Federation, the Klingons and what is left of the Romulans. Even the Borg… will not be able to stand up to this.”

Misato was clearly not satisfied with his answer, but she did not challenge him any further. Shinji was feeling more and more out of place here. This was no place for him, he belonged on Earth, he was supposed to be at work today, chopping vegetables, making soups, seasoning dishes, he wasn’t to be sandwiched between a Klingon general and a Starfleet captain whilst hearing about the threat to the galaxy!

“So why are we here, if not to evacuate NERV?” She finally asked.

“Our ship needed a pilot, one that you have brought to us.” Shinji’s blood ran cold as his father looked at him, “Shinji, you will be its pilot.”

“Me?”

Shinji had no time to protest further, the Klingon general suddenly stood up, “Preposterous! You mean to tell us this civilian is the pilot of your secret weapon? Is this a joke Ikari?”

“I assure you I am not joking, Shinji will be the pilot.” Gendo replied with a coldness to his voice that seemed to take even the Romulan by surprise.

“M... Me pilot it?” Shinji stammered out an answer as he too started to rise to his feet. He could feel the eyes of everyone in the room on him, “Is this... Is this why? Tell me... Why did you call me here?”

“Because I had a use for you.”

“But... I can’t... I... I’ve never even seen this before... I’ve never even been in space before until I got on board the Tokyo. How can you expect me to pilot something I know nothing about? How can you expect me to defeat that thing out there?”

“All you have to do is sit in it Shinji, not-” Ritsuko started to speak, perhaps in an attempt to reassure him but she was cut off by him.

“After fourteen years... FOURTEEN YEARS... I thought... maybe you wanted me here...”

“Shinji...” Misato’s hand came to rest on his shoulder, “He’s right, how can he pilot it? He’s had no training even in the most basic of shuttles... What makes him better than any of my crew?”

Gendo seemed to ignore Misato’s questions, instead further addressing Shinji, “If you’re not going to do it then leave, I have no use for a coward.”

“I... I can’t...” Shinji stared a hole through the table in front of him, he was aware of the tears filling up in the corners of his eyes. This was humiliating for him, to be seen like this in front of so many people.

“in which case...” Gendo tapped his combadge, “Medical, the pilot has proven himself useless. Prepare Rei...”

_“Sir... Are you sure? Rei is sti-”_

“That was an order, bring Rei to the briefing room.”

Shinji finally lifted his head to face MIsato, “I... I’m sorry I... I can’t... I don’t know...”

“I know, let’s get you back to the Tokyo.” She glanced over at the Federation admiral, “Admiral, I think you and I need to have a word regarding this situation.”

The admiral nodded solemnly, “I know captain, believe me... I did not know of this either.”

As Shinji and Misato turned to leave the door to the briefing room suddenly opened and in stepped two nurses wheeling a gurney. On top of it was a young woman, around the same age as Shinji. At first glance Shinji got that striking sensation of familiarity again, the same one he experienced when meeting Fuyutsuki. That feeling was soon washed away on seeing the condition of the woman.

This was the person who was going to pilot that ship, she looked like a mess. She was attached to a drip, her arm wrapped in a tight bandage, the rest of her body covered up by a white bodysuit. She was pale, blue haired with bright red eyes and seemingly in a lot of pain. Around one eye was a Borg implant, or at least the remains of one.

“Rei, you will pilot Unit 01, do you understand?” Gendo phrased it like a question but there was no mistaking that this was an order.

Rei slowly started to sit up, hissing with pain as she did. When she spoke, there was no emotion to her voice, there was no protesting the order, “Yes.”

“Ikari, this woman is in no condition to do this!” The admiral protested.

“Our other option is a coward!”

“It is you who is the coward!” All eyes turned in surprise at the sudden proclamation of the Klingon general, “First you offer up your family to fight something he is unprepared for and now you offer up an injured... drone. You are without honour!”

“There is no one else.” Ritsuko quickly cut in, sensing the Klingons anger tipping over, “If it isn’t Shinji then it has to be Rei. The Eva will accept no one else...”

Shinji had no time to think about Ritsukos remark as just at that moment the complex was suddenly rocked by a loud explosion. Everything around him stated to shake as the occupants struggled to keep their balance. He looked ahead of him to see the gurney start to tip. Without any hesitation he darted forward, his arms out stretched trying desperately to get to Rei before her already injured body collided with the hard floor.

He ignored the pain shooting through his own body as he managed to get himself into position just in time. The girl fell, ungracefully into his arms, crushing him but cushioning her fall. He let out a yelp of pain as the room stopped shaking. When he was sure he had gotten her he shifted around, cradling her carefully, her body twitched and spasmed as she let out a scream of pain. Suddenly there was a wetness on one of his hands, he pulled it away to see the unmistakable sight of blood from one of Rei’s re-opened wounds.

_‘I... She.... She can’t do this... She can’t do this but... I... I can’t either... I don’t know how but... I can’t let her! I have no choice I... I mustn't run away! I mustn’t run away! I mustn’t run away’_

“I... I’ll do it.” Shinji forced the words out.

“Shinji?” Misato asked behind him.

“I’ll pilot the ship.” He said, his voice not shakign as much this time, “I don’t know how but I... I’ll fight... I’ll do it.”

He felt the eyes of all the rooms occupants land on him once more as he continued to cradle Rei. There was a hand that came to rest on his should, only it was not Misato’s, it was more solid and he looked around to see himself gazing up at the general. With no further words the general leaned down, picking up Rei as if she was nothing and placing her back on the gurney. A moment later he unceremoniously pulled Shinji to his feet.

“You would fight, yet you know not how?”

Shinji nodded, “I... I will try, I have to, I can't let her do it...”

“You have the heart of a warrior Shinji Ikari. With your captain's permission I will prepare you for battle, may you fight well and if you die, may you die with honour and may Sto’Vo’Kor hold a special place for you!”

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, I just wanted to quickly check in and say a big thank you to those of you who have taken the time to read the story so far and left feedback, it really does mean a lot. Just wanted to say a few things about this particular story. It is something I've had in my brain for quite a while, I actually wanted to write it after finishing Braver Than We Are last year but I was a bit burnt out on writing and just didn't have that itch anymore, yet this idea always remained. I would plan things out, note it down with the hope that I'd eventually come back to it. A few weeks ago that desire to write finally came back and I started writing this up finally.
> 
> So what is this story? Well as is obvious it's something of a crossover with the Star Trek Universe, the basic idea is to take the characters/ideas of Evangelion and translate them. It's not a direct crossover where two casts of characters meet from differing universes, this is translating those ideas into Star Trek, so asking what would an Eva be if it was in the Star Trek universe, who would Misato be? Who would Shinji be? Etc. I know sometimes crossovers like this can be a bit off-putting, but I really hope you stick with it and enjoy it. :)


	3. But I don't want to go to Sto'Vo'Kor!

Shinji found himself stood before the craft that he had now agreed to pilot. It was larger and more imposing then the hologram had made it seem. Back in the room he had been scared at the idea of piloting, but now he was terrified, thoughts of how he got here and why he was doing this echoed in his mind. Thoughts of running away did occur to him but then he remember the sight of that injured girl.

_‘I have to do this... If I don’t then, they’ll make her do it.’_

He felt uncomfortable in his pilots' suit, referred to as a ‘plugsuit’ by Dr. Akagi. It was an uncomfortable, body hugging mostly blue suit with black markings up along the leg and arms. Around his chest was white armour plating presumable for some sort of extra protection. On one of the wrists was a button, which he had learned moments before caused the previously baggy plugsuit to mould to his body.

Working around him were a number of technicians, each of them performing a number of final checks on the ship. Every now and then they would turn and look at him, some of them with looks of confusion on their face. Shinji understood that, he didn’t exactly have the look of a hero. He didn’t stand like a Federation officer, or have the presence of a Klingon, he didn’t have the wits of a Romulan, he had... nothing. He was just Shinji.

Stood next to him was Misato, the captain had been mostly silent since he had agreed to pilot but she had escorted him to the locker room and to the ship, vowing to not leave his side until he got in the ship. There was something about Misato he liked, she was a Starfleet captain but she didn’t seem like the ones he had read about, she was certainly no Jean-Luc Picard.

Misato had a very casual air to her and he had to admit she was also very attractive. He blushed at that weird stray thought. It wasn’t really something he wanted to think about when he was about to face what could be his own demise. Yet, he also felt safe with her, like listening to her would protect him.

He cast his eye over the ship, the Evangelion, as it had been called one final time and watched as an entrance ram began to lower. His stomach lurched; this was actually happening... this was real! No matter how much he willed it, he was not going to wake up safe and sound in his bed in a moment. He was going to climb on board that ship and he was going to pilot it and fight. The words of the Klingon general echoed in his head, he had been told that if he was to die... then die with honour!

Death... it was a real possibility.

“A... Am I going to die?” Shinji asked Misato in a hushed tone.

Suddenly Misato moved around in front of him, she placed both hands on his shoulders and stared deeply into his eyes, “You listen to me Shinji, you are not going to die! When you came aboard my ship, I told you that you were part of my crew, and no one on my crew dies, not today, not ever! Do you understand?”

Shinji nodded weakly, her words did a little to reassure him but he knew they were just words. Misato couldn’t guarantee that.

“They have given me command of this operation.” She further explained, “You get on board that ship and you listen to my instructions, do that and we’ll be fine. Just follow what I say, don’t think about what is out there and you’ll get through this.”

“The boy will be fine!” Boomed a familiar voice behind them, “He has the heart of a true warrior within him, unlike his petaQ of a father!”

“General, have you come to examine the ship. I can assure you, things are under control.” There was a grit to Misato’s voice as she asked her question, Shinji on the other hand had to struggle to not protest against the Klingons statement regarding his warriors' heart. Still, much like Misato there was something that put him at ease about the general.

“Examine? Hah, I am here to report for duty.” The general answered and Shinji suddenly came to the realization that the Klingon was not dressed for an inspection, he was dressed for battle. There was a Bat’leth attached to his back, and his uniform was a warrior's uniform, rather than the diplocmatic one from before.

“Duty?” Misato raised a curious eyebrow.

“There is a battle to be had, and I would be bringing dishonour to the empire were I to sit here in this command centre and do nothing! Your ship, it needs a crew, it needs someone to protect the pilot in case of invasion. I... offer my services, may we cut down our enemies... together!”

All Shinji could do was nod nervously back at the general who let out another laugh and moved past the two of them, humming what Shinji could only presume was some Klingon battle shanty. Shinji looked back to Misato who had only a bemused look on her face at what had just transpired.

“I... think he thinks I’m someone I’m not.” Shinji muttered.

“Klingons can be a strange and confusing race.” She remarked, “Then again, so can humans I suppose. They value honour above all and they love nothing more than a good fight, the higher the stakes the higher the glory, he must be in his element.”

“Misato... I... I’ve never been in a fight before. I’ve never hit anyone! I don’t know how to fight, I don’t know how to pilot this... thing!” Shinji spluttered out, “I have... nothing to offer!”

“I guess... maybe he saw something, you’re a Federation civilian Shinji, brought out of your confort zone by a father who abandoned you. You’re not standing up to fight in place of someone who can’t. All this in the face of cert... something really unpleasant! She made an effort to console him, “I suppose to a Klingon that makes you worthy of Sto’Vo’Kor.”

“But I don’t want to go to Sto’Vo’Kor!” Shinji pleaded, “I... I’m not...”

“Don’t worry! You have me commanding you. I’ve never lost a battle in my life and you should have seen what I did with the Kobayashi Maru!” Misato grinned, “Like I said, follow my instructions! When I tell you to evade then you do it, when I say fire then you do that. Understood?”

Shinji nodded, “Yeah... I think so.”

“Good.” She nodded back, “Now, let's actually get you on board this damn thing.”

\---

Only a few minutes later Shinji now found himself sat on a strange looking cockpit in the middle of a very dimly lit circular room. Ahead of him was a blank wall, behind him was the door leading back out to the rest of the ship. There had been no time for any sort of tour, but Dr. Akagi had quickly informed him that aside from its weird control system the ship had most of the standard things a ship this size might have, there was a bridge for the crew to monitor the ships functions, some minimal quarters and a basic medical bay.

Most of the ship looked like a regular ship up until this room, it was in keeping with the NERV building rather than the warmer Federation starship he had lived on for the better part of the last three weeks. This room however felt very different, attached to the ceiling and floor were a number of tanks and pipes through which an orange liquid flowed.

Where he was sat was also strange to what he had imagined. He thought he would be sat on a seat in front of a console on the bridge. Instead this felt like an old pilot’s cockpit form an aircraft in a history book. Either side of his seat were two large handles how him to take hold of and directly in front of him was a screen relaying some essential information as to the status of the ship.

 _“Shinji, this is Doctor Akagi, are you able to hear me?”_ Came a voice through the console.

“Yes.” He replied.

_“Good, listen carefully, the chamber you’re in is going to start filling up with a liquid very soon. Try to not panic, the liquid is called LCL and it’s completely breathable. Just let it pass over you and try to breathe as you normally would, do you understand?”_

“I… I think so.” He answered.

Shinji barely had a moment to consider her words before he started to feel a strange cold sensation by his feet. A quick look at the ground revealed to him that the liquid she had mentioned was now starting to fill up in the room. It seemed slow at first, pooling up at the base of his plugsuit but then without warning it started to speed up. Soon he was feeling it at his knee, then at the base of his chest and then at his shoulder.

As it continued to rise the smell of the liquid started to reach him, almost triggering his gag reflex. This liquid, this LCL, had the faint stench of blood. He tired to fight the urge to be sick, closing his eyes and forcing himself to breathe slowly. He focused on nothing else but his breathing, in and out as the liquid continued to fill the room. It was at his chin now and continuing to rise.

His heart was beating faster in his chest, the tough bit was coming up now. Instinctively he started to hold his breath, his brain unable to cope with the concept of being able to breathe this liquid. He felt it finally pass over him, the process was complete, he was now totally submerged. Yet he couldn’t let go of the breath he was holding. Everything in his body told him that this was wrong and that he shouldn’t do this.

_“LCL processing is now at maximum, how are you feeling Shinji?”_

Shinji didn’t want to answer, he didn’t want to open his mouth, terrified that if he did, he’d drown in this horrible liquid. He knew he was going to lose the battle soon though, the tightness in his chest was there, screaming at him to breath. He slowly opened his eyes to reveal the same room as before but with a faint orange hue, the smell, although still there was thankfully not as bad as before. Unable to hold that breath anymore he finally let it out, almost immediately he took a few more breaths, it wasn’t as bad as he thought it might be, yet it was hardly as pleasant as regular breathing.

“I… I feel sick.” He finally answered back.

 _“Suck it up Shinji.”_ It was Misato’s voice that answered, _“Just focus on us for now.”_

 _‘Okay I… I can do this. Just listen to Misato, she… she knows what to do. After this I can… leave and go back to Earth.’_ Shinji thought to himself, _‘Father… why… why did you call me here for this? Why didn’t you tell me or prepare me? Why do I have to do this?’_

Ritsukos voice came through the systems again, _“Unit 01s systems are now being brought online. Tell me what you can see Shinji.”_

As she spoke the scene around him suddenly started to change. There was a bright flash in front of him as the walls cycled through a number of different colours and then, much to his astonishment he was greeted by the sight of the hanger the ship was currently sat in. He turned his head around, in all directions all he could see was the hanger, it was as if he had somehow become the ship itself.

“I… I can see the hanger!” He called out.

 _“Very good, we’re going to move the ship towards the launch pad now. For your first launch you’re going to be taken up into orbit by a number of shuttlecrafts using tractor beams.”_ Ritsuko replied, _“You might experience some motion sickness at first.”_

Shinji nodded as the ship started to move, first it was rotated towards the large open door of the hanger. Shinji focused on nothing but his breathing as the ship started to move slowly forwards, out of the hanger into a large open space. He looked up to see four shuttles positioned above each corner of the ship. One by one a blue beam started to shine down from the crafts taking hold of the ship. He felt his stomach lurch as the ship was gripped and began to rise upwards.

For a brief moment all the thoughts of the battle faded away, there was a moment of amazement as the ship slowly rose up through the sky, passing through clouds, giving him a view of the vast open space below. For the first time he saw the NERV structure, it was a giant pyramid-like structure. Next to it was a crystal blue lake, a stream ran from it through a lush green forest.

It rose more and more, the NERV pyramid faded from view until all he could see was the green landmass NERV was on. Eventually he was moving through the atmosphere and into the planets orbit. With his mouth open in astonishment he heard Ritsuko’s voice once more.

_“Evangelion Unit 01 is now in lower orbit of the planet, final systems are being brought online. Tell me if you feel any discomfort Shinji.”_

“O-Okay…”

There was another flash within the cockpit as the final systems started to come online. Shinji’s thoughts were brought back to the upcoming battle. He had been briefly distracted by the beauty of the journey he had taken from the planet but now there was only the thought of what was about to happen. As he looked at the console for final confirmation of the systems being brought online he felt a strange sensation in the back of his head.

_‘What…. What is this?’_

It didn’t hurt but it didn’t exactly feel comfortable. It was almost as if there was something there, pressing their fingers into the back of his head. He was about to say something but almost instantly it was gone. Instead now there was another sensation, a warmth in his chest, a feeling of warmth and familiarity spreading through him. There was a tightening around him, not an uncomfortable tightening but something more akin to being embraced.

If he didn’t know better, he could have sworn there was something or someone in the cockpit with him. Yet he wasn’t scared of whatever this entity was, it felt familiar to him, like it was there to protect him, like the warmth was an embrace there to tell him everything would be okay.

_‘Is this… Is this the Eva?’_

\---

**NERV Command Centre**

“His sync rate is holding at thirty-two percent.” Ritsuko remarked, “Remarkable, he’s already doubled what we’ve had from Rei so far and this is his first time in the Eva.”

“Sync rate? Explain.” Misato ordered; her arms folded as she kept her gaze fixed on the screen.

“An Evangelion and its pilot are bound by their sync rate. Rei has been our test pilot for Evangelion Unit 00 and Unit 01, so far in tests she’s been able to achieve a rate of eighteen percent. Shinji has managed to double that.” Ritsuko explained, “Basically the higher the sync rate, the more in tune the pilot is with their ship, the more control they have over its systems. It’s still a long way off of an optimum rate but this is a good start.”

“I’ll take your word for it, so the higher the rate the more control they have. Is that right?”

“Yes, unfortunately there are side effects, the higher the rate the more the pilot will feel the effects of any attacks on the ship.”

Misato raised an eyebrow, “So if the ship suffers damage, Shinji will be hurt too?”

“Exactly.”

“Goddamnit, what have you people created?” Misato shook her head, none of this sat right with her. A ships pilot shouldn’t suffer when the ship took damage, they should be protected by the shields and armour plating and a ship shouldn’t be controlled by some weird direct control system like this Evangelion was. All she could do was put up with it all for the moment, there was no use in protesting, “How long until the ship reaches us?”

“About ten minutes.” Ritsuko answered, “Whilst we wait, we should see if Shinji can do some basic manoeuvres. Can you hear us Shinji?”

 _“Y-Yeah… I can hear you…”_ Came his trembling voice.

 _‘Poor guy… God knows what must be going through his mind right now.’_ Misato thought to herself as she remained looking at the screen.

“Good, now before I hand you over to Katsuragi, I want to explain a couple of things. As you have probably noticed, the ship you’re in isn’t controlled like a traditional starship, instead of traditional control consoles it makes use of a neural link with the pilot, in effect, your thoughts control the ship. Do you understand?”

_“I… I think so? So… I control it with my mind?”_

“Exactly! Now you’ll see the console it front of you which provides a basic readout of all the ships various statistics. You’ll be able to see your weapons, shields, speed and so on. Now to control the ship you need to grip the handles by your side, there will be a trigger, squeeze them and just… think about what you want to do.”

_“O-Okay…”_

Misato took a step towards the screen, “Okay Shinji, you heard the good doctor, let’s give it a go. I want you to move forward for ten seconds at one quarter impulse.”

 _“Um… one quarter impulse… god it.”_ Came the answer, _“Wait, how fast is one quarter impulse?”_

“Around fifteen thousand kilometres per second, your display should tell you where you are in relation to speed.” Ritsuko answered him.

The two of them kept watching the screen and saw Shinji’s ship flowly start to move forward. Misato couldn’t but notice a slightly prideful smile on Akagi’s face as Shinji took his first tentative steps in the bizarre craft. Once the ten seconds were up and the craft had some to a stop Misato gave her next command.

“Well done Shinji, now do the same again only this time bank slightly to port.”

_“Port?”_

“Your left.” Misato let out a sigh, “When this is done, we’re going to have to give you a crash course in the holodeck.”

Their eyes went to the viewscreen again, Misato’s eyes followed the ship as it once again moved forward and banked to its port side. Unfortunately, it seemed there would be no time for any further instructions of practice as a bright flash in the distance heralded the arrival of the enemy.

“Okay Shinji, red alert… shields up and ready your weapons.” Misato ordered, “It’s time.”

\---

**One day later – NERV Medical Facility.**

The first thing Shinji was aware of as he groggily opened his eyes was the immense amount of pain shooting through his right arm, the second thing was an equal amount of pain shooting up through his left leg and finally, as his eyes opened and the blurriness faded was the unfamiliar ceiling above him.

“Where… am I?” He muttered as he weakly tried to sit himself up. His first attempt to sit up didn’t go so well, he groaned as his arms gave out in an attempt to push himself up. He waited a moment for the pain to subside and then made another attempt. This time, he was able to shuffle himself into a sitting position and take in the sights, such as they were, of what was a well-kept but small hospital room.

Ahead of him was a door, a tall green plant with rainbow leaves positioned next to it. To his left was some basic seating and to his right was a screen that was currently switched off. To his immediate left was a machine monitoring him, it was emitting a very faint hum. The only other sound to be heard was that of his stomach rumbling in hunger.

He let himself slump back down onto the bed, bringing his hand up to his forehead, “What… happened to me? I… don’t remember anything.”

The only response he got was his stomach growling at him again. He made the effort to prop himself up again and turned around to let his legs dangle over the side of the bed. He could see a button on the machine for summoning some sort of assistance. He contemplated pressing it to try to get some food but decided against it, not wanting to be a bother to anyone. Surely, he would be able to find somewhere to get some food here.

A shiver ran through him as his bare foot made contact with the cold tiled floor, he tried to stand but felt a large amount of pain shoot through him. He sat back down and took a few deep breaths before making a second attempt. This time he was slower, using the bed to prop himself up, he gave a little stumble as he finally got to his feet. The room outside of his bed was colder, even more so due to his clothing, or lack of. He once again contemplated pressing the button for assistance, the hospital gown and thin pyjamas not doing much to keep him warm.

Shinji took a few tentative steps forward, reaching the door and exiting the room into an empty corridor. Ahead of him he could see more doors, presumably leading to more rooms similar to his. Outside of each one was a simplistic bench and every now and then were more plants like the one he had in his room. He slowly made his way down the corridor, one careful step and a time and running his hand against the wall for support.

Eventually he found himself in a large open hallway, here was more seating as well as a number of tables. However much like the corridor it too was completely empty, in fact aside from himself there didn’t seem to be any signs of life at all. There were a series of shutters on one side of the room that were closed and no sounds at all. Thankfully, next to the shutters he could see a couple of vending machines.

He approached one of the machines and his stomach growled once more. There didn’t seem to be a lot in the machine, a selection of various snacks which he recognized from Earth and a few others he didn’t recognize. In his current state anything probably would have done, he’d have eaten Klingon cuisine at this point but he decided to play it safe and go for one of the chocolate bars he recognized.

Shinji made his selection and then very quickly realized he had a problem. The vending machine required a form of payment and in his present state, he had nothing to make that payment with. In fact, he had left Earth without any means to make payment, it simply wasn’t something he required on Earth and not being part of the Federation or every having to go off world he had no need for credit chips or latinum.

He stood there, cursing his luck when he suddenly heard someone calling out behind him, “Shinji?”

Shinji turned at hearing the sound and found himself face to face with captain Katsuragi, she was still in her uniform just like the last time he had seen her but her appearance gave off the impression of a woman who had not slept in over a day. He could see dark bags under her eyes, her hair was looking untidy and the uniform jacket was open and the undershirt untucked.

“Captain?”

“I was just on my way to visit you, what are you doing out of bed? You should be resting!”

“Sorry!” He apologized, “I… woke up and I was hungry, there was no one around and I… well I didn’t want to bother anyone. Only I… can’t get anything.”

“Oh?” Misato looked at the machine before pulling a small device out of her pocket, “Oh yeah! Let me get that, I suppose you’ll get yours soon but they use credit chips here. I suppose being where they are supplies are probably a bit more limited.”

“Thank you.” Shinji felt himself blush as Misato stepped forward and completed the purchase of the chocolate bar. Misato also got him to pick out a can of coffee from the next machine before leading him over to a seat by the window. He looked out over a luscious green field as he quietly ate the chocolate bar and sipped from the can.

“How are you feeling?” Misato asked.

“I… I’m okay but… my arm and leg hurt a lot.” He answered, “Do you… know what happened to me?”

“You don’t remember?” Misato looked out of the window and shook her head, “I’m not surprised it was… Well, we can discuss it later, all you need to know now is that we won. You won, NERV… Its people, the USS Tokyo, the quadrant and the galaxy are safe.”

“Really… I… don’t remember anything.” Shinji mumbled, slightly frustrated with himself, “All I can remember is… you asked me to turn to port and it’s a blur after that.”

“Well, try not to worry about it too much!” Misato put her hand on his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him, “You need to rest Shinji, come on, I’ll escort you back to your room.”

Shinji nodded, now having had something to eat to settle his stomach and something to drink he could feel the tiredness taking over his body again and more aches and pains shooting through him. Going back to bed seemed like it’d be a good idea. They both rose from their seats, as they did, from across the room an elevator door suddenly started to open. Both he and Misato looked as they saw two people emerge, the first was his father and following behind was the girl from earlier, Rei.

In addition to the pain in his arm and leg Shinji was now feeling a churning in his stomach as the two of them came to a stop. Rei was looking directly at Shinji, she was walking slowly, the bandages from the other day still present. There was no visible emotion on her face, no look of gratitude, nothing at all. Shinji couldn’t help but wonder what the relationship between her and his father was. Had he rescued her from the Borg? How had she ended up here?

Shinji glanced up at his father, much like Rei there was no visible emotion on his face, there was no greeting or emotion. Shinji felt his eyes lower to the ground, wishing to be anywhere but here.

“Come on Shinji, lets go.” He heard Misato say.

“O-Okay.” He looked up at her, her eyes were focused on a set of doors that had just closed. She looked angry and Shinji felt another tightening in his chest as she started to walk down the corridor towards his room. He wordlessly followed her, feeling no better than he did when he had awoken, if anything feeling worse.

\---

“You have a lot of explaining to do!” Misato stormed her way into Ritsuko’s office, barely given the door time to open and angrily making her presence known. She made her way immediately to Ritsuko’s desk, crossing her arms and staring a hole through the doctor.

Ritsuko looked back up at her, clearly not surprised by Misato barging into her room. There was the faintest of smiles on her face. Misato was not in the mood to smile, not even for a moment, she was angry, impatient and very tired. She hadn’t slept since yesterday, long before they had arrived at the colony. The battle had been had, the recovery attempt had been made and she had had to address her crew before going to visit Shinji, after visiting Shinji and making sure he was okay it was straight to Ritsuko.

She wanted answers, she wanted to know more about NERV, about the Evangelion and why it had to be Shinji who fought in that ship? Anywhere else in NERV seemed to be off limits to her, Ritsuko was her best bet.

“Well, I’m waiting!”

“I was wondering when you’d show up.” Ritsuko gave a nod of her head and set down the cup of tea she was holding. Some of the anger in Misato started to strange fade upon sight of the cup and teapot, both items were familiar to her and both were sculpted into cat like shapes. The whimsical design of the two items provided a stark contrast to the way Ritsuko tended to come across.

“So, you’ve been waiting for me then?”

“Of course, I have. I imagine you’ve already tried the traditional channels. You went to the Admiral first, she probably wasn’t forthcoming, either she didn’t know anything or what she did know she can’t tell you. The other ambassadors are unlikely to know anything and again, whatever they did know they aren’t likely to tell you and as far as NERVs commanders go, they’re always off-limits.” Ritsuko smiled, “It was obvious that you’d come to me.”

“Well aren’t you the smart one?” Misato said bitterly.

“I try. Well, I’ve forwarded what I can to your quarters aboard the Tokyo, I've made sure it’s one your special secure channel... you’ll know exactly which one I mean.”

“Oh.” Misato hadn’t quite expected Ritsuko to have done that. She suddenly felt the weight in her body from the tiredness and sat herself down on the seat in front of the desk. Without any prompting Ritsuko immediately set out another cup in front of Misato, she poured out some of the tea into it and then followed that with a small amount of milk and a spoonful of sugar.

“I know coffee is more your thing but I figured you could use this.” Ritsuko said with a smile, “It’s just like being back at the academy isn’t it?”

“Why are you here Ritsuko?” Misato ignored the question, “The last I heard, you were on Starbase 515! What are you doing in this... hellhole of an outpost, lightyears away from Federation space and in the Gamma Quadrant of all places?”

“Officially? I’m here as one of the Federations experts in Biomedicine, I’m consulting on Ikari’s Project-E and assisting to safeguard the galaxy against the sort of thing you saw today.” She answered, “Unofficially... “

“Let me guess, you can’t tell me?” Misato finished the sentence for her, “So how long have you been here?”

“Around three years or so. I was at 515 for a year and then I got a visit from a man in the black uniform, the sort of one I’m wearing now. He explained something was happening here, explained how I could be useful and given what was at stake, I didn’t feel I could turn him down.”

“So... That’s why my attempt to recruit you as my first officer was denied?” Misato asked.

“That, and I think given our history, Starfleet probably wouldn’t have deemed it appropriate.” Ritsuko quipped, “Unless you have forgotten tha-”

“I haven’t forgotten.” Misato interrupted, “But the academy was a long time ago, we’ve not the same people we were then.”

“Starfleet can have a long memory when it suits them, but... that isn’t why you’re here is it?”

“No... I’m not.” Misato shook her head, “What is going on here?”

“You look tired Misato, have you slept since yesterday?”

“I can sleep when I have my answers.” Misato straight to not raise her voice in frustration. No matter how angry she felt, she knew it wasn’t Ritsuko’s fault and taking it out on her colleague and friend would achieve nothing. It had been a long time since they had last seen each other, but over the years the woman had often been at the forefront of Misato’s mind.

Misato sipped from her tea, the smell and taste of it instantly setting off a strange sensation of nostalgia. Perhaps... on a better day she could allow herself to enjoy it more, perhaps on a better day she could allow it to transport her to those old academy days and the hours spent with Ritsuko.

“Fair enough. Computer, engage protocol Akagi-1995-4-10" Ritsuko ordered.

 _‘Protocol Akagi-1995-4-10 engaged.’_ Replied the voice of the computer.

There, that should give us a little bit of privacy.” Ritsuko said, “I’ll give you a brief rundown of what I can but I would advise you read the rest in your quarters, after you have slept. Are we agreed?”

“Are you trying to give me orders?” Misato grinned, “Don’t forget I outrank you.”

“I’m a doctor, I can have you declared unfit for duty very quickly.” Ritsuko answered sternly, “I’m saying this as your friend Misato, you need to look after yourself. You have a crew now, remember?”

“Who do you think I’m doing this for? Their lives were endangered today because of something I had no idea about, and something no one had warned me about. I need information so I know how to act!”

“I know.” Ritsuko nodded, “But I also know what you can be like, when you lock onto something... to hell with others.”

“Is that supposed to be-”

“It’s supposed to be nothing.” Ritsuko quickly cut her off, “I’m looking out for you, nothing more.”

“Fine!” Misato sat back and crossed her arms. “Short version it is, then I go back to my ship, sleep and learn the rest.”

“Good.” Ritsuko let out a sigh, “The short version is that the thing we saw today is the reason NERV was set up and Project E began, the goal is simple, the defend against and repel what we call the Angels. To do that we have built what we call the Evangelion, bio-ships that are capable of generating and nullifying the A.T. Field, that special shielding you saw the enemy ship use today.”

Misato refrained from jumping in at this point to ask more questions. Who was this enemy? Why were they called Angels? Why not use the technology in another ship and why did Shinji or that Rei have to be the pilots? For now, she felt it was better to remain quiet.

“NERV, as you know, isn’t officially a Federation facility but as you have probably guessed already, Section 31 is very heavily involved. The reasons for its independence are noted in the information I’ve provided, but NERV didn’t used to be NERV, it used to be a Federation facility called GEHIRN, located in the SEELE Colony.”

“SEELE? That... That’s the colony attacked by the Borg? Shinji’s mother...”

“Died there?” Ritsuko finished the question, “Yes, correct, she did but the Borg attack didn’t happen. It was a fabrication, a convenient story to ward off anyone who might have taken too much of an interest in the work being done there. The Borg were nothing more than a convenient bogeyman for the Federation in this case.”

Misato felt a surge of anger at her friend's words, not towards her friend but towards the people she served. She wasn’t naïve enough to believe the Federation was pure like they presented themselves, she knew there was a lot of darkness under the hood but to lie about an entire colony dying like that... it seemed so very wrong.

“That wasn’t the first time either.” Ritsuko continued, “The first time was a few years prior, just prior to the formation of GEHIRN but with a similar core team. They were doing research on a ship they found, a bio-ship they called ‘Adam.’ They refer to this incident as the Impact Incident, an entire planets population wiped out overnight. Again, they blamed the Borg.”

Misato’s head was spinning at this point, “So... What is this, ‘Adam’?”

“It’s the foundation of Project-E but also of our enemies it seems. When they found Adam, they... unleashed something. Something that is only coming to the surface now, when Adam unleashed its power it sent a signal, they learned that more would come, today was the first of what could be many.”

“So... We will need to fight again?”

Ritsuko nodded, “Both Shinji and Rei will have to fight, yes.”

“Why? Why those two?”

“Unfortunately, there isn't anyone else capable of it, the Evangelions... much like Adam are bio-ships that require a certain profile or pilot to be able to synchronise with them.” Ritsuko explained, “And before you ask, no, the technology used to generation the A.T. Fields cannot be installed on a traditional starship, believe me, I have tried.”

There was so much more Misato wasn’t to ask, who and how did they decide Shinji was capable of piloting? Why did NERV exist now? Who gave the orders to keep things quiet? Some questions she had answers to but there were so many more. Yet, she could feel the effects of almost two days without sleep catching up with her. The heaviness in her eyes was getting harder to ignore.

“We should end this here Misato, sleep and then look through what I’ve sent you. It’ll explain a lot more then I can say and probably better too. You know me... I was never much of a people person.”

“Hah, yeah... You always did have trouble mixing with others.” Misato smiled, “Fine, I’ll... go back to my ship and get some sleep.”

“Good.”

Misato rose to her feet and started to move towards the exit of the office. She reached the door, bfore she could leave Ritsuko called out to her her voice softening as she spoke, “Misato, I... I know this isn't quite the reunion we probably expected... or wanted but I am... glad you’re here.”

\---

**The next day – Early evening**

Shinji leaned back, the back of his head resting gently on the rim of the bath as he looked up at the bathroom ceiling of his quarters. The warm water flowed around him, helping to ease some of the aches and pains in his body. The events of the last couple of days a complete blur in his head, he had been released from the hospital this morning but there had been no time for him to relax or spend time going over everything.

After being released he was met by Misato, a Misato who had finally taken the time to rest it seemed. The two of them were taken to a secure interview room at NERV, Shinji had been questioned as to what had happened in the Eva, an array of questions that he had no answer to. He had then been given very firm instructions that what happened on NERV was to remain within this system and to not communicate it anyone.

After that he and Misato were led to another secure and drab room. It was here that he had been given a NERV ID card and informed that he had been granted a place to stay within the colony. He had not been asked if this is what he wanted, he had not been given a choice of where to stay, instead they had merely told him and expected him to just accept it.

Which, he did. Shinji didn’t question it outwardly, even if inside he had questions for them and for himself. Did he want to stay in NERV? Did he want to be here when he could return to Earth? Could he return to Earth? Did he have to pilot again? Would he see his father again?

\---

**Earlier that day**

**NERV Office**

“I have a question.” Misato broke the silence, placing her PADD down on the desk. Shinji remained silent, it was clear from her tone that Misato was not happy.

“Go ahead.” The man, a uniformed NERV officer, replied.

“This home, this apartment for Shinji. Looking at the plans here and the general layout of your colony it looks like he will be the only person in this entire building. In fact, there doesn’t seem to be anyone in any of the other buildings either.”

“That is correct.” The man replied, “These buildings are specially designated for NERV and its pilots. Of course, most NERV personnel tend to live closer.”

“So why is this different?”

“These quarters have been specially allocated by Commander Ikari.” He answered, “There are no other options.”

So, it was his father who had arranged this and for some reason was making him live in some building in the middle of nowhere. Shinji couldn’t help but wonder why. Is it because Shinji was a pilot? Was his father punishing him for something? Was he punishing him for running away all those years ago? For... his mother?

His mother, Shinji couldn’t really remember her, couldn’t remember her voice or what she looked like. There were no photos, no records... nothing. His father had seen to that. His aunt and uncle... they never spoke of his mother. They had nothing either. All Shinji knew was that she was supposed to be a kind woman, a good-hearted woman who didn’t deserve to die.

_‘He blames me...’_

“it’s okay Misato.” Shinji spoke, “I... I don’t mind being alone. I’m used to it.”

“Absolutely not.” Misato looked at him, her voice was stern but there was something in her eyes, a softness that Shinji hadn’t really seen someone look at him with before. He felt himself blush.

“If this is his only option in this colony then it’s unacceptable.” She continued, “Shinji has a home onboard my ship.”

\---

There had been an initial disagreement after she had said that, the man had seemed reluctant to let it happen citing Shinji’s fathers' orders but Misato contacted the Admiral still at NERV and something was arranged. Shinji felt embarrassed about it, yet he was thankful. He was used to being alone but deep down he didn’t want that.

Misato had told him afterwards that the expectation would be for him to pilot the Evangelion again. She apologized to him for that, Shinji had no response for her. She then went on to explain that it would be important that given that fact he learns how to pilot. Being on board the Tokyo could help with that, interacting with the ship and its crew would be beneficial to him.

So here he was, lying in a bath in the quarters he had been brought to NERV in. Contemplating the events of the last few days and still trying to plug that gap in his memory where a battle, one he had supposedly won, had taken place. Maybe it was a good thing that he couldn’t remember, he had fought and won which meant lives had been taken. Why would he want to remember that? Maybe his brain was doing a good thing of keeping it from him.

‘Memories... They usually come to me when I’m in the bath, but it’s always the painful ones. Ones of that day fourteen years ago, ones of the bullies in school and their words... will this just be the same? Misato said having a bath would be good for me.’

 _“Bathing is the laundry of life!”_ She had said to him with an enthusiastic grin after bringing him to his quarters.

_‘What am I now? Am I still a civilian? An Evangelion pilot? Am I part of NERV? Starfleet? I... I don’t know but then... I’ve never really known.’_

What was he to Misato now? She seemed friendly enough but he was just a part of her mission, wasn’t he? He was someone she had to deliver here and now he was under her care or part of her crew. Was she his captain now? Did he have to address her as such? Could she order him to do things? Could he refuse?

 _‘Misato... She seems nice, she’s not like the captains I’ve read about... I can’t imagine Kirk or Picard telling someone to take a bath.’_ He smiled, _‘She seems like she cares though. She even said she’d have something for me tomorrow...’_

Duties on board a starship, he had never really thought about working on a starship. He, as well as all the others in his schools growing up was told to consider joining Starfleet. Many of the people from his school went on to enrol, some of them are now officers on starships like this one. Shinji never really saw the point of someone like him even trying. He had little, if anything to offer, all he’d do is get in the way and disappoint others.

He was scared of what might happen to him now. Scared of being hurt and of hurting others and scared because he knew the comfortable life that he had on Earth wasn’t one he’d get back. That life, it wasn’t much, even her knew that. Shinji was just living and existing from day to day. He was just waiting... for something, whatever that thing might have been. He never really sought anything, he had hobbies and interests but he was never serious about them. He had a job but it was just a thing to do.

Maybe the thing he was seeking was this, maybe this was what he was waiting for but instead of him having to find it, it had finally gotten fed up and found him.

Shinji closed his eyes and sunk a little bit more into the, letting the water reach his chin.

\---

**Two days ago – Evangelion Unit 01**

_“Okay Shinji, red alert… shields up and ready your weapons.”_ He heard Misato order, _“It’s time.”_

So far piloting the ship hadn’t been quite as difficult as he imagined it would be. The interface seemed fairly simple and although he had only made the ship travel a short distance it seemed like he could do more. Of course, now things were going to be very different to just making the ship bank to the left. On hearing Misato’s orders he nodded and concentrated on getting the ship to do what she had said.

_‘Um... Red Alert... Evangelion... Unit 01... go to... red alert?’_

Commanding a ship via this interface felt strange, it wasn’t so much like he was giving to order to something but as if he was carrying it out. When the ship moved, he could feel himself moving, as if he and the ship were one entity.

Around him was the sound of a loud siren, there was a deep red glow as the ship went to its red alert state. A quick look at the console confirmed this change and also told him the ships shields had been raised to maximum.

_‘Okay... I can do this... just listen to Misato.’_

_“Good job Shinji! Now make sure your phasers are at full power and you have torpedos ready. I want you to move directly forward at half impusle, fire your fore phasers, bank immediately to port and fire your starboard phasers and when you are completely around fire a spread of torpedos before moving to full impulse.”_ She ordered, _“Keep it simple and quick, remember to watch out for any return fire and evade as best you can.”_

“O-Okay.” he replied nervously.

He started following her orders, bringing the ship up to half impulse it lurched forward. He felt a cold sensation around him, almost as if it were him moving forward. Ahead of him he could see the imposing form of the enemy ship. Whatever this vessel was, it completely dwarfed his own. He felt his stomach churn as he got even closer, preparing himself to fire.

 _“OKAY SHINJI, FIRE NOW!”_ Misato’s order echoed around the cockpit.

On hearing the order given he willed the ship to fire the fore phasers at full power. He watched as two beams of orange light jetted forward from his ship towards the waiting enemy. Remembering Misato’s other instructions, he immediately started to bank the ship to port, watching as his phaser fire collided with the enemies A.T. Field causing a rippled of octagons in front of the vessel.

_“Great job Shinji! We’re showing its shields have been weakened! Keep going!”_

On hearing that he fired off the starboard phasers, these were sent forth, the first bounding off of the A.T. Field, another hitting the A.T. Field but a third shot, this one passing through the field and colliding with the hull of the ship, there was a bright flash as the hot phaser fire struck the hull, smoke and fire erupted from where it had been hit, debris sent spinning into space.

Shinji felt a weird mixture of panic and elation watching as this plan seemed to be working. He was aware of his heart pounding rapidly in his chest. This was real, this whole crazy thing was real and not a dream. He was actually here, fighting in this ship against an enemy that had taken out an entire armada!

He readied the ship to turn again, the final phase of Misato’s plan, the barrage of torpedos. The ship was turning, his back to the enemy, his heart was pounding rapidly and all he was focused on was getting this final atatck out. Unfortunately, he couldn’t see the bright white glow from the enemy ship.

_“SHINJI EVADE NOW!”_

The shout came too late, Shinji saw the flash and tried his hardest to evade the beam of energy from the enemy. It collided heavily with the Evangelion’s starboard side. His head snapped back in his seat, pain surged through his body, he screamed out clutching his arm to his body. He had never known pain like this, it felt like it was on fire, yet a glance revealed no visible damage at all.

Hissing through the pain he could hear the yells of the crew on board his ship and back at NERV. The Federation officer assigned to his ship was relaying the status, _“Starboard shields have taken a beating! Down to 36%, aft shields are down to 60%. We can’t take another one of those blasts!”_

All Shinji could feel was an immense amount of pain shooting through him, it was as if the damage done to the ship was being mirrored onto his body. Was this what it meant to be an Evangelion pilot? Was this supposed to happen?

“My body… It… If feels like it’s on fire!”

Ritsuko’s voice replied to him, “Shinji, listen to me, that pain you’re feeling is not real. I know it feels like it is but it’s not real. Look at your arm and your leg, see how they’re fine. Just stay focused!”

Staying focused was becoming tougher and tougher, the pain was refusing to cease and although what Ritsuko had said seemed to be true it did little to ease the pain. Shinji gritted his teeth and tried to get back onto the task, he tried to speed the ship up and fire the spread of torpedoes like Misato had asked him to. He willed the ship forward but frustratingly nothing was happening.

 _“Pilots sync ratio is dropping!”_ He heard the chatter of the comms, _“Pilots vitals are becoming faint!”_

There was something else said but it was becoming harder to hear everything through the pain. He could feel something trickling down his face, down his cheek and into his mouth. Blood! It was blood! Shinji was bleeding and the world around him was becoming hazier.

He tried his hardest to move forward, to fire but nothing was happening. Only his eyes dropping and the sounds of comm chatter. He was vaguely aware of another flash of light, this time the pain was focused in his chest as the ship was hit. Around him there was the loud crash of explosions, more yelling and then suddenly… nothing.

Total darkness, no enemy, no yelling, no explosions and no pain. All there was, was Shinji and the sensation of him floating. At first it was terrifying, the first thought to race to his mind was that he had died, this was death. He wanted to scream out in fear but then in front of him shone a single orb of light, it rose from his command console and radiated a warmth.

His eyes widened in terror but the urge to scream faded, instead it was replaced by a calming sensation, as if this orb was there to sooth him.

_“Let me help.”_

Shinji heard the voice in the back of his head, a woman’s voice, a strange yet familiar voice.

_“Shinji.”_

The voice echoed through him again as he remained floating. Not sure what to do, should he respond? Should he say something or do nothing? Was this just a figment of his imagination, a strange dream brought on by his condition.

_“Let me help you.”_

He heard it again, only this time it was more forceful. Suddenly the orb morphed in front of him, changing from a perfect sphere into the form of a woman bathed in light. It hovered in place in front of him for a few moments before slowly reaching out with its hand. Shinji, as if controlled by some other force felt his hand reaching out to touch hers. Her touch was soft, gentle and familiar. As their fingers mixed the figure moved forward and his body was filled with warmth.

“Help me…” He muttered as the figures hand moved up to softly caress his cheek.

As the light enveloped him the darkness began to subside and the vision of space reappeared once more, the sounds and screams of the battle came back. Through misty eyes he could see the enemy ship was still there, primed to attack. Yet in his groggy state… he still couldn’t move the ship, his body was still locked, paralysed by pain and fear. All he could do was watch, aware that the Evangelion was moving forward, its cockpit glowing a deeper shade of red.

The last thing he remembered before slipping into unconsciousness was an exchange between Ritsuko and Misato. Ritsuko yelling out, _“The ships reactivating! I… I’ve never seen anything like this before, his sync rate is at 100%!”_

There was another bright flash, a cross shaped explosion in the distance as he heard more shouting and screaming. He didn’t know the source of the shouting, of the explosions, all he could feel was the weight of his eyes and the sound of his own voice.

“Mother…”


	4. Reconnection & Recollection

Misato heard the door to her quarters slide shut and wasted no time in moving over to her desk and sitting down. It had been a long day and she had been eager to return to this place so that she could finally go through the documents Ritsuko had sent her, hoping that maybe they could shed some light on this entire situation.

It had been a day that had tested her patience, she had wanted to come back much sooner and if she could have, then she would have. Unfortunately, now that she was a captain, she had duties to perform and her crew to deal with. It had been a day taken up by debriefings, escorting the young Shinji Ikari around NERV, making arrangements for him to stay onboard the ship, planning his duties and also meeting with her senior staff to explain things going forward.

They, understandably, had a lot of questions about their situations. A prolonged trip to the Gamma quadrant hadn’t been in the job description but being a part of Starfleet could put you on a strange path sometimes. She had kept most of what she knew quiet, until she knew more herself. There were also questions as to where Shinji would fit in on board the ship.

Shinji was at the forefront of her mind quite a lot today, he had been there since they had brought him on board but for most of the journey had had been fairly invisible, her only thoughts being of hoping he was okay. Not that she had seen what she had; she couldn’t help but feel really sorry for him. She could see the pain he was in, here was a guy who had faced the tragic loss of his mother and then been all but abandoned by his father. From what she had seen of the two the other day, his father didn’t really seem to care either.

_“Because I had a use for you.”_

Those were the words Gendo Ikari had said to his son the other day when asked why he had summoned him. They were cold and emotionless words, words that made angered her. No father should ever say something like that to their son. She could only dare to imagine how much that must have stung Shinji on hearing it.

_‘If it was up to me, he’d be on his way back to Earth right now… but it isn’t. Starfleet seem to want him here and if he is really the only one who can pilot then… here is where he’ll have to stay.’_

Misato let out a sigh of resignation, the box had been opened and Shinji was at the centre of the hell that was spreading. Which meant now he was no longer just a civilian, as of today he was an enlisted member of Starfleet. He was officially a member of the crew of the USS Tokyo, so now she had to think of him in such a way.

If she was being honest with herself then Shinji probably wouldn’t have been her first pick for a member of her crew. There wasn’t much about him that screamed ‘Starfleet’, he probably couldn’t be blamed for that. There is no obligation to be a part of Starfleet, it’s a choice people make and Shinji simply didn’t make that choice. Still, at the age of twenty he was still young and probably capable of being molded into something.

Still, she was sure there would have to be a lot of work to mold him into anything. The guy didn’t really seem to be very good at speaking to people, from her understanding he didn’t really have any ambitions or anything motivating him, the only thing she had really seem him do was at a critical moment, stand up for what was right.

His first time piloting the Evangelion hadn’t really gone to plan either, truth be told it was down to luck that they had won. If the ship hadn’t taken control of itself, gone into that ‘Berserker’ state as Ritsuko described it then they would all most likely be dead by now.

Again, that wasn’t something she could blame Shinji for. He had never been near to a Starships controls before that moment. How was he supposed to know his port from his starboard? His photon torpedoes from his quantum torpedoes? His evasive pattern A from his pattern B?

_‘He’s a complete blank slate, he could probably follow by orders but I need more than that. I need someone who can think like a Starfleet officer and act like one. He could probably learn these things but how much time do I have? These Ensigns on board, they had four years at the academy and this is their first ship, this is their learning experience. How can I teach him all they know in a fraction of the time?’_

Nothing about this situation was ideal. When putting together her crew she had been careful and went over each member of the crew carefully. She hadn’t handpicked everyone, but tried to have some knowledge of each person. There were people on board who were fresh out of the esteemed Starfleet Academy, there were members of the crew who had left many years ago and were in the middle of their career and perhaps looking to be a captain themselves on day. There were of course a number of enlisted officers on board much like Shinji was, but in those cases, they were experts in their field and had some sort of training.

Shinji was unlike any of them, a blank slate that people expected to become an ace pilot. Perhaps more annoyingly for Misato is she had an officer on board who could fulfil that role of ace pilot perfectly. She was one of the brightest at the academy and probably would have been perfect as a pilot.

_‘Sure, she might have a bit of an arrogant streak in her but sometimes troublesome things like that can help a person excel. If she wasn’t so fresh out of the academy then I could get her to train Shinji… Actually… maybe…’_

Misato let the thought roll around in her head a little bit, an ensign training a civilian to pilot. It’d be unusual and probably break some of Starfleet’s protocols but Misato was the captain of this ship, they were very far from home and she had to do the best she could with what she had… it could very well work.

_‘I’ll think about it more later, for now… let’s see what NERV is really all about.’_

As she opened up the secure channel, she couldn’t help but smile, she hadn’t even thought about this communications channel in a very long time, not since the two of them were at the academy. That made sense, it was one Ritsuko had come up with, a way of sending things to each other that they’d rather keep hidden. For a brief moment Misato wondered if any of that old stuff might still be stashed away, she quickly dismissed that thought.

_‘It was a long time ago... You were both different people, what is in the past should be left in the past...’_

She did have to question why Ritsuko would choose this method of delivery rather than the standard Federation channels, hell Misato had more secure lines of communication given her status as a captain and Ritsuko was Section 31, surely, she had something. It was a question for another time though, the why didn’t matter, all that mattered is what was waiting for her.

She felt tense as a number of reports were downloaded to her personal workstation. Everything about her current situation made her feel uneasy, from the way she had been given the mission through to what was happening right now. In a way it didn’t feel real, she was expecting to patrol a few systems before being sent out on a research expedition, something more befitting of a Galaxy Class vessel, not coming all the way out to the far edges of Dominion territory and dealing with a threat to the galaxy.

There was a tightness in her stomach as she opened the first report, almost immediately she was greeted with a note from a Federation Admiral, ordering its immediate retraction. This of course begged the question, why did Ritsuko have this report and was it really okay for Misato to be reading it?

_‘Too late now I suppose...’_

The report seemed to be an overview of the events Ritsuko mentioned. Twenty years ago, Federation scientists had discovered a bioship they nicknamed ‘ADAM’. Further reading of the overview told her that this ‘ADAM’, was based on ancient and unknown technology, there had been some speculation that it even pre-dated the Iconians. Even stranger, upon examining the bioship further they found that it was still somewhat alive, albeit in a dormant state.

Like all good scientists they were extremely curious about the ship and what its capabilities were. They were excited to study it, to learn about an ancient race no one else had encountered. To find out what they could adapt to the Federation. It was taken to a colony far on the fringes of Federation space.

Further study revealed it used an advance power source, they called it the S2 Engine and figured that if they were able to harness this power, they could revolutionize the Federation. It could have been the next major technological leap. Perhaps even transwarp technology could have been within reach. Misato could definitely see the draw, transwarp had always been a dream, but few had come close and the only ones who had were also the Federations greatest threat, the Borg.

Studies continued for the better part of half a year with little progress being made. That was until one day, the overview itself was hazy on the details, Misato presumed no one was trying to take notes during a disaster. All things indicated that they tried to run an experiment on the ship to wake it up. They eventually succeeded but instead of allowing them control, the ship initiated some sort of self-destruct sequence, leaving no survivors.

This incident was referred to in the document as the ‘Impact Incident’, there were further notes from the Admiral that had ordered the redaction. There was to be no mention of the experiments nor of the bioship. The incident was to be made out to be an attack by the Borg, they had seen the Federations experiments with transwarp as a threat. The Federation were able to fight the lone Sphere off but lost the colony in the process.

Also documented and never to be mentioned was that the bioship had seemingly sent out a transmission moments before it self-destructed. Three words, perhaps forming some sort of instruction, ‘Awaken’, ‘Reclaim’ and ‘Intruders.’

_‘It signaled others... Who in the Federation knew about this? Twenty years ago! The Maquis... the Cardassians... the Dominion... The Federation was about to be pushed into its darkest era, were they scared? Is that why they covered this up?’_

Misato continued moving through the reports, trying to work out what had happened next. It seemed that although there were no survivors from the colony, there had been a number of people who had left the colony days before the ‘Impact.’ They were rounded up and a new project, under the name of GEHIRN was started. This too was a secretive project, the founding Admiral being the same who had ordered the redactions.

_‘Key personnel... Gendo Ikari... Yui Ikari... Kozo Fuyutsuki... Kyoko Soryu... That can’t be right and Naoko Akagi? Ritsuko’s mother?’_

Her stomach tightened again at the list of names, none of those names were unfamiliar to her now. Gendo and Yui, obviously Shinji’s parents, Kozo was the sub commander of NERV. Kyoko Soryu... her daughter served on the Tokyo and Naoko was Ritsuko’s mother. Misato knew very little about Ritsuko’s mother, strange given how close she and Ritsuko were. She knew Naoko was a scientist but nothing beyond that. Misato had never really pushed her beyond that, she always got the impression that the two didn’t really get along.

_‘Me with my father... Rits with her mother... Shinji with his father... What is it with this place and parents?’_

She continued to read, trying to absorb as much information as she could. It turned out GEHIRN had been formed with one purpose, to analyze the transmission sent out by ‘ADAM’ and prepare for any threat. To this end, development of the Evangelion class ships was started. It was theorized that whatever was coming would be as powerful as ‘ADAM’ was, therefore they would need a ship to rival it.

This meant a ship capable of cutting through the shielding the bioship could produce. Little was left of ADAM but a few samples they had brought off world. At first, they attempted to modify existing Federation ships with the new technology but these experiments failed. In the end a controversial idea was floated, to try to clone and grow a new bioship from the remains of ADAM. This led to what would be the first Evangelion.

_‘My god... What the hell were they thinking. Did they not learn from experimenting with it... and cloning?’_

She continued to read, learning that two Evangelion class ships were made to begin with. Unit 00, the prototype and Unit 01, the test type. It was during the activation of Unit 01 that the second major accident occurred. Yui Ikari was the test pilot, she had spearheaded the operation so knew the Evangelion class ships inside and out and was a logical choice for test pilot.

No one was really sure what had happened, again the details were vague but it seemed a rogue power surge happened just as the ship was brought online. The colony was almost destroyed in the fall out, although the loss of life was not as heavy as it was during the original ‘Impact’ it was still severe, Yui was of course amongst the dead, her body never being recovered.

After this incident the Federation seemed to get cold feet regarding it all and GEHIRN was shut down. Perhaps it was the new threats that were rising to face the Federation or something else but it the Admiral felt efforts would be better focused elsewhere.

Misato took a moment to pause and reflect on what she had learned. There was a lot to take in and her head was spinning with all the information. She didn’t quite know what to feel, anger? Sadness? She didn’t know who was right or wrong. She didn’t want to condemn the Federation for doing what they had done, it was an entity she believed it, one whose values she swore to uphold but she couldn’t condone this.

She thought that maybe she should come back to this later, go out for a walk to clear her mind a little bit. Maybe even go to the holodeck and load up one of her favorite racing programs. She was about ready to get up but suddenly something new flashed up on screen, curiously this one was accompanied by a small image of a cartoon cat. Misato recognized the image immediately, it was one Ritsuko used in extra special transmissions.

Curiously, Misato opened it and found it to be an addition to the first overview she had read. It was a list of further redactions, once again given by the same Admiral that had popped up throughout each of these reports, Keel Lorenz. This segment seemed to contradict the first overviews claim of there being no survivors of the original Impact Incident.

_\---_

_Statement redacted on order of Admiral Keel Lorenz_

_We are sad to report that the explosion also caused the loss of life of the lead scientist on the S2 project, Dr Akira Katsuragi. His loss as one of the top minds in the Federation and lead of this project I am sure his loss will be felt heavily. It would seem however that our earlier report that there were no survivors was incorrect, there is one, Akira’s daughter, Misato Katsuragi. It would seem he got her off world, in a modified photon torpedo._

_Initial examinations suggest she had no memory of the incident nor of being at the colony itself. I have instructed those monitoring her to take steps to keep it that we, I believe it is best for all if she had no recollection of this place. As such her condition will be monitored and a cover story will be drafted. As sole survivor of the incident and one who came into contact with ADAM, it is important we maintain a close watch of the girl and her mother._

_Doctor Akagi’s loss will be felt heavily, but this should not deter us. Finding ADAM was stage one, now we move onto phase two.’_

_\---_

Misato’s mouth went dry and the knot in her stomach tightened as she read the redaction over and over. It couldn’t have been true, and yet there is was, an official redaction by a Federation Admiral. It was there as clear as day, her father had been the lead scientist on the ADAM project and she… somehow had been the lone survivor.

She tried to remember, searched those deepest recesses of her mind for something, anything that might trigger a scene from her memory. The dates on the report, she remembered them but she couldn’t remember being off of Earth. She could remember learning about her father’s death but it was only when she had awakened from a coma. She could remember the regret she had felt on hearing of the news.

It had been a long time ago, she and him had had some sort of argument, one of many they had. She remembered calling him something bad, and him storming off. That was the last time she had seen him, there had been a shuttlecraft accident at the station, she had been the only one involved and been put into a medically induced coma for a month. When she awoken it was to the news that her father was gone.

That was what the kind Federation Admiral had told her, that was what her mother had said to her. They had told her how an experiment had gone wrong and he had died. They had told her about how she had been involved in the shuttlecraft accident. She had no idea of what her dad had been involved in. She hadn’t even been given the Borg attack cover story!

She swayed as she stood up, her stomach churning and a dark cloud descending over her head. Tears burnt in her eyes; an ache stung the back of her throat. There was also a feeling of anger, anger at the people who had covered this up and anger… anger at the being that had caused this. Anger at herself for saying what she did before she last saw her father.

Suddenly an alert went off, indicating someone was at her quarters. She let out a sigh, it had to be now… at this exact moment after she had found out all she had done. She took a moment to straighten herself up and try to pull herself together. Her head was still spinning as she crossed the gap to the entrance to her quarters. The buzzer went off again, she took a few deep breaths and pressed the panel to open the door, revealing none other than Ritsuko Akagi.

Ritsuko seemed to take one look at Misato, and immediately realized the situation. She reached out with a hand, placing it on Misato’s shoulder, “You’ve read it then, I’m so sorry.”

Misato didn’t quite know how to respond, at the touch of Ritsuko’s hand she felt the urge to cry again. All she could do was nod and beckon Ritsuko inside her quarters. She heard the door close behind her as she made her way back to her seat, sitting down she took another deep breath before looking up at Ritsuko, “How long have you known?”

“Three years.” Ritsuko answered immediately, “I found out not long after I was brought here. It was around that time I also learned that my recently deceased mother was a part of the project.”

The compassion Ritsuko started the sentence with faded to bitterness by the time she got to mentioning her mother. Misato merely nodded again and lowered her eyes, “I’m sorry to hear about your mother.”

“Don’t be.” Ritsuko replied with a sigh, “Truth is, to this place I’m little more than her replacement. Federation wanted some eyes here, saw my mother’s death as an opportunity to get one of their own in place. What better person to use than her own daughter? A brilliant Federation scientist in her own right, knowledgeable in all the right areas to be of use here and loyal enough to the Federation to report back.”

So that explained a few things for Misato, Ritsuko was here acting as eyes and ears for the Federation. A new feeling was spreading over her, fear for what her friend might have gotten herself into. “Ritsuko…”

Ritsuko shook her head, “It isn’t my story you want though is it? Not now anyway, it’s the one you just found out about, your fathers and yours. I… wish I had more to tell you, I wish I had something I could give you but I don’t have anything more than you saw. I’ve looked but someone saw fit to purge as much as they could about him and his research from any database I could access. I’ve even asked my superiors and they’re not forthcoming. I figured the least I could do is be here for support.”

Misato looked up to see Ritsuko was looking down at her, it was not the public facing Ritsuko people knew of, the scientist with little interest in people, it was her friend and the smile was one she wore only for Misato.

“Thank you.”

The blonde stepped forward, and it was only then that Misato noticed she was holding something in her hand, it was a small bottle containing a blueish liquid.

“Ritsuko… Is that?” Misato started to ask.

“Romulan Ale?” Ritsuko answered with a grin, “Figured if I was here to support you then it’d be worth bringing this. Been saving it for a special occasion, this stuff isn’t exactly easy to get hold of since Romulus was destroyed, even harder out here in the Gamma Quadrant.”

“At least it’s legal now.” Misato let out a laugh, thankful of her friend’s distraction from what she had just learned. She got up off of the seat and moved over to the kitchen, pulling out two small glasses for the beverage, “Not like it was in the Academy, we had to get really create to hide the stuff.”

Ritsuko handed Misato the bottle with within a few moments she had poured out a small amount of the liquid into the two glasses. She handed one glass to Ritsuko and took the other for herself, lifting it to her nose to smell the liquid for the first time in what felt like forever. On the smell hitting her nose she felt herself being taken back to those nights her and Ritsuko would spend together, daring one another to drink just a little bit more, hiding it from their instructors prying eyes, waking up with the terrible hangover it could produce.

It was a memory, a happy one to offset all the hell she had learned about this evening. Something that she didn’t have to question. A memory of a time where she didn’t have all this responsibility, when she was truly happy. When the two of them were happy, until she had… as she tended to do, mucked it all up.

She took another look at the alcohol dismissing the negative thoughts. It had been a long time since she had this and it was far away from the synthahol beer she tended to enjoy. Federation replicators couldn’t produce anything close to this stuff and nothing else had the distinctive taste the Romulan ale had. Many weren’t even sure if they actually liked the thing, if anything, it was more of a novelty to drink it, it was a test to prove you could handle it and you got a buzz from it you didn’t tend to from anything else.

Misato looked up to see Ritsuko grinning at her shocked at the sight of the empty glass in Ritsuko’s hand, in all the time Misato had spent being nostalgic, Ritsuko had already seen fit to down hers with seemingly no effect, “Been staring at it a long time, are you scared?”

Misato let out a laugh and grinned back, “Not at all.”

She held the glass to her lips and in one swift motion downed the liquid, she almost regretted it immediately as a harsh burning sensation hit the back of her throat, she swallowed feeling the warmth of it spread throughout her before slamming her glass down on the counter and looking back at her friend, “See! Nothing to it!”

Misato wasted absolutely no time in pouring out two more glasses, this time adding a bit more of the liquid. She was feeling slightly buzzed now, a little bit of lightheadedness was beginning to set in. She motioned over towards the seating and passed a glass to Ritsuko. With her own glass in hand she made herself comfortable on her sofa.

On sitting down Ritsuko spoke, “I’m sorry you had to find out in the way you did. I wanted to tell you properly but…”

Ritsuko tailed off, Misato seeing the regret in the blonde’s eyes. She nodded, fully understanding the situation, “I know… Your job… this place… it mut be complicated.”

“Something like that.” Ritsuko confirmed, “Being here, where my mother was… It wasn’t exactly what I had planned for my future. I had ambitions, I wanted to be on a starship, travel the galaxy, I didn’t want to be confined to one lab like she was, I didn’t want to be her.”

“Rits…”

“Here I am though, head of project E, living with only the ghost of my mother and that… drone!”

“Drone?” Misato questioned, “You mean… Rei?”

“That’s the one.” Ritsuko answered, “I… Don’t mean to sound annoyed at her, she’s alright it’s just. Try living with only a former Borg drone for any sort of conversation.”

Misato chuckled, “What’s her story, how did Ikari come across her?”

“I don’t know, she apparently was found a year or two before I arrived. As far as I know there has never been much of a Borg presence in the Gamma Quadrant, especially not as far out as this. Rei is a good person, she’s quiet and does what she is asked to do but I just… wonder if her life here is any better than it was in the collective. All she has is piloting.”

“You care about her?” Misato asked.

“I wouldn’t be very good at my job if I didn’t care about her. Ikari has me in charge of her care, I try to do my best but there isn’t a lot to do, just make sure she has a regular checkup, her implants are working as they should be, her regeneration chamber is functioning fine. Physically… she’s great, but it’s her development outside of that that concerns me, she was freed from the collective, given back individuality but she’s barely advanced in all that time. I don’t really know what to do, I even tried reaching out to Voyagers former drone, Seven Of Nine!”

“And how did that go?”

“Poorly. Hit a brick wall of redirection and rumour. No one I spoke to could or would put me in touch with her, even her former crewmen, last I heard was she had joined from group of rangers and the trail went cold.”

“Fenris Rangers?” Misato asked, “I’ve heard of them, they consider themselves the law in a few systems in the Beta Quadrant, the good guys. Federation doesn’t seem to like them but tends to leave them be.”

The room fell into silence as the two of them took a moment to sip from their glasses. Misato once again felt the burning sensation of the ale spread throughout her, although the feeling was a lot more dulled compared to the first time. Her level of intoxication was increasing, she could feel herself becoming more lightheaded, she could feel herself smiling a little bit more and she was finding herself unable to keep her eyes off of her friend.

“You know I have genuinely tried to find out more about your father and even you… When I found out about it, I wanted to contact you but they… told me I couldn’t contact anyone back home and you were serving aboard the Buckland at that point.” Ritsuko suddenly said, snapping Misato out of her staring, “Do you really… not remember anything?”

“Nothing.” Misato shook her head, “It’s all a goddamn blank. I mean… I knew something had happened to me; you’ve seen the scars but I was always told it was that shuttle accident… The Federation, my mother they all… told me it was that, said I was in a coma for a month and that my father had passed away in an accident off world. I don’t… remember anything, I don’t remember being off of Earth, I don’t remember Adam… I don’t… remember anything!”

Misato wasn’t sure if it was the emotion of the situation or the alcohol, mostly likely it was both but she could feel the sting of tears return and she was raising her voice more and more as she spoke. She paused to take a moment to regain her composure only to nearly lose it again as she felt an arm come around her shoulder. The anger quickly subsided as a new emotion took its place, triggered by the warmth of the embrace. She turned and found herself looking deep into the eyes of Ritsuko.

“Ritsuko…” Her voice melted into a sigh as she found herself leaning in closer and closer. Her lips parting slightly as the distance between their faces closed, her heart pounding in her chest. Suddenly, she stopped, pulling her head back, “We… We shouldn’t.”

Misato immediately regretted her words after seeing the look of hurt reflected in her friend’s eyes. It was a look she had saw many years ago when saying a similar thing. It was towards the end of their time in the academy, their relationship had been going on for nearly a year and it was almost time for them to graduate. They were happy but Misato had started to get scared, fear had taken over her and she suddenly put a halt to it. She conjured up a bunch of reasons and excuses, never being sure if Ritsuko had believed any of them.

“The alcohol… tonight… the emotion and… I… I’m a captain now, it wouldn’t be responsible of me…” Misato spoke aloud, her voice trembling and herself wondering if she was trying to convince Ritsuko or herself.

The look of hurt persisted on Ritsuko’s face, both fell into an awkward silence, neither daring to move. Misato felt the churn in her stomach return, felt the sting of tears intensify as Ritsuko started to speak, seemingly making a move to get up, “You’re right, I…”

Ritsuko was suddenly silenced, cut off mid-sentence by Misato pressing her lips up against hers. Her eyes widened in shock as she let out a little yelp of surprised as Misato’s sudden action before moving to return the kiss. She could feel her heart pounding rapidly in her chest as she wrapped her arms around Misato, holding the woman close to her. She wondered if Misato was feeling the same butterflies that she was, wondering if she too was feeling that same sense of giddiness that came when you kissed the one you loved.

Finally, Misato slowly broke the kiss, she was still looking into Ritsuko’s eyes, “I… I’m sorry, all those years ago… I broke up with you… I shouldn’t have… I’m sorry.”

Ritsuko said nothing as Misato moved in closer, she could feel one of Misato’s hands running itself softly through her hair, she sighed into Misato’s mouth as she felt Misato’s other hand slowly running itself up her leg. Misato let out a sigh of her own as Ritsuko’s hands began to roam her body, it had been so long since she had done anything like this with anyone, it had been so long since she had felt Ritsuko’s touch on her.

“I’m sor-“ She gasped as Ritsuko’s hands got a little bit braver, one of them grabbing at and squeezing her breast firmly. The two of them shifted themselves around on the couch, Misato positioning herself on top of Ritsuko, letting the blonde kiss her neck and chest, letting Ritsuko’s hands continue to roam and explore her body.

Misato didn’t want to listen to the negative voice any longer, didn’t want to be scared of what might happen. She gave no more apologies, no more words of protest, all she gave was herself to Ritsuko. She had always known what she had done all those years ago was a mistake and she wasn’t going to make that same mistake again.

To hell with fear and her responsibility, she was in love.

\---

**The next day**

It was early morning and Shinji found himself on one of the Tokyo’s holodecks, he was on the bridge of a starship, sat at the conn station, the large viewscreen in front of him and Captain Katsuragi sat in the centre seat behind him. He was dressed in a brand-new Starfleet Uniform, a grey shouldered jacket on top of a red undershirt. It felt alien on him and he felt wrong wearing it, this was a uniform people earned, he had just been given it by pure chance.

He had to wonder what his aunt and uncle would think if they could see him now. Would they be proud of him being a part of Starfleet? Would they be happy or unhappy at his situation? It was only now, as he was thinking about them and realizing he missed them that he was beginning to realize he didn’t have a great relationship with them.

They had taken him in when they didn’t have to, they had fed, clothed and looked after him. Sent him to school and nurtured whatever it was he had. They had encouraged him and dare he say it, they had loved him. Yet Shinji had always remained distant, hopeful that maybe one day his father would return or fearful that if he exposed too much of himself, they would abandon him too.

He had blamed himself for his father abandoning him, thought that it was his fault because of who he was. Deep down, he knew this probably wasn’t true. He was a six-year-old child when it happened, how could a six-year-old have been the cause of something like that? Yet this momentary burst of logic did nothing to quell his fear and anxieties, and so he had done his best to make sure he wasn’t abandoned again.

As such he had taken the opportunities given to them, carried them out without protest nor any passion. He had drifted through his life so far. He could cook because he was taught to and told to, he could play the cello because he was taught to and told to and now, he was going to pilot and fight in a starship, because he was being taught to and told to.

_‘But if I don’t do what they ask... then they’ll hate me... and leave me...’_

“Okay Shinji, this is going to be a little bit different to what you did on board the Evangelion. We don’t have any direct control interface here, just a good old-fashioned console. We’re hoping to set up some simulation for the Eva but for now, we have to do this.” He nodded as Misato spoke behind him, “So this is supposed to be the bridge of a Saber class starship, it’s one of the Federations smallest ships, even smaller than your Evangelion.”

“Okay.” Shinji nodded again.

“You’re at the conn, the direct controls of the ship but we’ve also set it up to allow for the firing of weapons and also your shield systems. As you saw on the bridge of the Tokyo usually, we have a person per system, but as an Evangelion pilot you’d be handling both those things, so we want to stay true to that.” She continued to explain, “Much like the Evangelion though, you will have someone to handle your communications systems and engineering. Today that will be me.”

“Okay.” Shinji nodded again, the knot in his stomach tightening.

“Now, keep in mind that usually, it would take an Academy student four years to complete their training and get anywhere near the conn of an actual starship, at the academy you will have studied those systems and the various sciences involved as well as performing a number of practical exams and simulator hours.”

“R-Right...” He stammered, the nervousness increasing.

“So, there is no expectation for you to do well today. Even enlisted crewmen have some sort of existing qualification in their field. So today just... try to loosen up, get used to those controls and focus on the basics. Remember, it’s just a simulation, it’s not real so if we crash into a planet... then so be it.”

He turned to see her grinning and mustered something of a smile back, her words did a little to reassure him but not completely. After all, even if he managed to do well in the holodeck, he knew it was just a simulation. Even on a normal starship, it could take damage to the shields and it wouldn’t hurt but, on the Eva, the pain was real and the threat was real.

“Okay so, our mission is a simple one but don’t worry, we’ll get to the Kobayashi Maru in time.” She joked, “A smuggling ring has been operating out of this sector for some time and they’ve been hiding their illicit goods in the asteroid field ahead of us. Federation authorities want us to impound the illegal cargo. So how do you think we’re going to do that?”

Shinji didn’t have to think too hard about the question, “Find it and... transport it onto the ship?”

“Very good, so how do we find it?”

“Scan the asteroids?”

“Yup, this group have used holo-emitters to disguise the good as asteroids, we need to navigate the field, scan the asteroids and determine whether or not they’re the illegal goods. If they are, destroy the holo-emitters and transport the cargo on board.”

“Okay.” Shinji nodded.

“Great, so take us forward crewman, one quarter impulse.”

\---

**NERV Command Centre – Commander's Office**

Every time she came to this office Ritsuko hated it just a little bit more, it was cold and dark, located on the lowest levels of the NERV complex. Everything about it seemed to be crafted with the notion of intimidating the visitor, it was dimly lit, it was oversized, there was a large drawing of the sephirot on the ground and at the far end, illuminated by a floor lamp was a desk and the owner of the office, Commander Gendo Ikari.

 _‘Even a Cardassian would find this ridiculous.’_ She thought as she strode forward towards the desk and the waiting Gendo Ikari. Her did her best to mask her emotion, to hide the anxiety and fear she was feeling right now at being in this place. She looked at the Commander, his gloved hands folded neatly in front of his face, the lonely lights of the room reflecting in his glasses, the ever-present Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki by his side.

“Dr Akagi.” He spoke, his voice echoing around the room.

“Commander.” She nodded, her face showing no emotion and she hoped no signs of intimidation. She already knew why she had been summoned here. Her meeting with Misato last night, Gendo would want to be briefed on what it was Misato knew, what Ritsuko had told Misato and any other details to be aware of. He would want to give Ritsuko instructions and tell her what to say to the Starfleet captain.

It had been a sudden summoning, Ritsuko was still wrapped up in Misato’s bed, still entwined in her lover's arms when the alert had gone off. Fuyutsuki had gone to Ritsukos quarters and had no answer, there was no hint at her being in her office yet either. She would likely be questioned as to why she had spent the night on board the Tokyo, Gendo would probably enquire as to the nature of her relationship with Misato.

Gendo liked to be informed of things, Gendo liked to know things and generally Gendo did know things. He would likely know of their history as lovers in the academy, even if Ritsuko hadn’t mentioned it to him. He would probably suspect they were together all night, even though Ritsuko wasn’t going to tell him. He probably knew how much she hated him, and he probably didn’t care.

_‘As long as he gets what he wants... that’s all that matters to him.’_

"I have been informed that you met with Captain Katsuragi last night.” He started as her stomach tightened, “I trust all went as arranged?”

Ritsuko nodded, “Of course.”

“So, what does she know?” Gendo asked.

“No more than we agreed upon, she now knows about my mother's involvement in the project. She knows about her father's death being caused by ADAM, her being the only survivor and that the Federation covered up the truth.” Ritsuko answered, “Knowing Misato, this should give her sufficient motivation to stay here as you desired. She will likely want to investigate more but it will also give her sufficient motivation to help us in destroying the Angels.”

“Very good, you have performed your task well Akagi.” He gave a little nod, “I would like you to continue to keep an eye on her, and continue to aid in ensuring her co-operation. Limit your discussions to her father for the moment and his work to divert her attention from NERV. Whilst I have no doubt in time, she will come to learn of the many secrets here, but it will be us who reveals them.”

“Of course.” Ritsuko nodded

“And I would advise against letting yourself get too close to her.” He added, “I am well aware of your history, hence why I am asking you to perform this task. See to it that you do not lose sight of what we are trying to achieve here.”

“Of course not.” Ritsuko felt herself tense up, she tried to answer as convincingly as she could, hoping Gendo wouldn’t notice the stammer in her voice, “What happened between myself and Captain Katsuragi was a long time ago, I assure you, those feelings no longer remain.”

Her stomach churned with guilt as she lied, if anything, after last night those feelings were only growing stronger.

“See to it that things remain that way.” He ordered, “We are at a crucial stage, we cannot afford such simple mistakes to be made by misplaced emotion. With us repelling the first Angel, the gaze of the committee is now on us, we are to be scrutinized more by Lorenz and his people, we cannot afford a mistake. We have our scenario, and Katsuragi and her ship are vital to it.”

 _‘Your scenario, you mean.’_ She suppressed the urge to correct him.

“I expect you to report to me more regularly going forward, remember do not allow yourself to grow to close to her.”

“I won’t.” She lied again, “Is that everything?”

“On this matter, yes. There is however the matter of Rei, I would like her to be ready to pilot Unit 00 as soon as possible. Please make sure you report to the maintenance lab and check up on her.”

“Of course.” She answered before turning and immediately walking out of the office as quickly as she could. With each step her stomach tightened more and more. When she had awoken there had been a glow, a happiness brought on that she hadn’t felt in a long time. Brought on by a night of lovemaking and waking up in the warmth of Misato’s embrace.

Now all she had was a feeling or dread and a headache caused by the previous nights’ ale. She had been brought back down to reality quickly, her reality. One that she couldn’t admit to Misato, lest she face the consequences. A reality that when uncovered, would ensure the captain would hate her.

“I hate you Ikari.” She said through gritted teeth, tears stinging the back of her eyes as she felt the solid office doors closing behind her.

\---

**One week later**

A loud crack echoed throughout the courtyard as fist connected with flesh, Shinji felt a sharp pain as he stumbled backwards from the impact eventually, falling to the concrete. More pain shot through him, spreading up his lower back and along his leg. He had never been punched before, in a month of firsts for him, this was going to rank pretty low on the list.

No one had ever had a reason to punch him before, he tried to ensure that. He had been threatened by bullies of course, but it never went beyond a threat. He wasn’t even sure why this guy had punched him just now; all he knew was the immense amount of pain he was in. He held his hand up to his cheek, it was already beginning to swell, and he was sure he could taste blood in his mouth.

He looked up from his position on the ground at his assailant. He was a dark haired, athletic looking Starfleet officer. An ensign with an open jacket, his gold coloured shirt showing him as a member of the security team. He was glaring at Shinji, hatred firmly in his eyes, and yet Shinji had no idea why. All he knew is that he had no where to run to and that there was a horrible voice in his head telling him that he deserved it.

“I’m sorry ‘recruit’, but I just had to take my anger out on you.”

Stood behind this guy was another person, this one Shinji did recognize, he was the excited ensign that had been aboard the shuttle all those weeks ago. The same one that had been rambling about how great the Galaxy Class ship was, talking to anyone who was within earshot about all the upgrades and new features it boasted. His jacket was zipped up, but Shinji could see he was part of the science team. He was the opposite of the guy who had punched him, a little bit shorter, his hair a bit longer and messier and certainly not as athletic.

“His sister was on board the ship you were piloting.” He chimed in, seemingly trying to justify his friend’s actions.

“Your carelessness put her in a coma, she could have died!” The first person added, “I don’t know what the hell they were thinking, putting a weak civilian like you in control of that thing.”

Shinji felt himself tense up, on hearing those words he understood and the intense feeling he had moments ago, telling him that he deserved it was only amplified. The young girl on board the ship, who had escorted him, it must have been her. He remembered her, there was her and the Klingon general who had been on board the Evangelion when he piloted it.

Shinji hadn’t thought to ask what had happened to them after the battle. Maybe he had just assumed they were okay or he was afraid to ask. He had heard whisperings of the Klingon boasting of the glorious battle that had been had, how Sto’Vo’Kor had been denied a new resident on that day and how glory remained within the empire.

He knew that what a Klingon considered glorious another might consider harrowing. Yet, he had not been told of anything serious, so he assumed all would be okay.

“It’s not like I wanted to pilot.” Shinji didn’t quite regret the words he chose to say as the two of them walked away, yet he did question why he said them. Almost immediately the guy turned back around, marched up to Shinji, grabbed him by the collar and effortlessly hoisted him to his feet.

“What did you say?” Growled the man.

Shinji felt like he should have left it, but there was something in him telling him to repeat himself. He knew what was going to happen but the voice was telling him he deserved this punishment, he had hurt someone… nearly killed them, this was the least he deserved.

“I didn’t want to pilot…” He mumbled, “They made me do it, I didn’t want to!”

The hand on his collar tightened and lifted him up just a little bit more, he saw the other hand be pulled back and curl into a fist. Shinji closed his eyes as he readied himself for the second and inevitably more painful punch. He could still taste the blood in his mouth, he was still in a lot of pain, he didn’t envision things going any better.

A moment past, there was a loud crack but Shinji felt no pain, instead he felt the tightened hand around his collar let go and he stumbled backwards, opening his eyes. The officer had indeed gone to punch him, but it seems as he had gone to do so someone had blocked him, grabbed his fist before it could connect with Shinji’s face.

Shinji took a moment to look at his savior, it was a female officer, from here all he could see was her figure and the mass of bright orange hair belonging to his savior. Another glance as his assailant shown a face full of anger, both at Shinji and at being stopped from taking out his frustration.

“The hell are you doing?” He snarled at the woman who had stopped him.

“I could ask you the same question idiot. Boys in security giving you a tough time, so you’re bullying a helpless civilian?” The woman snarled back at him, “Why don’t you try me instead?”

“My issue is with him, not with you, let go of me. This is none of your business!”

“Well, I’m making it my business.” She taunted, “So how about it, you want to have a go at me, or do you not have the balls?”

“Touji…” The other guy spoke up, “Don’t you know who that is?”

“No, should I?” The guy called Touji asked his friend.

“She’s the Red Devil, the best pilot in our year group at the academy!” The guy spoke with some admiration, “We should let it go, this isn’t worth it. You’ve made your point.”

The guy named Touji finally brought his first away and took a step back from the woman. As he did, he shot a final look at Shinji, “We’re not done here, watch your step. And as for you, Red Devil do-gooder, sucking up doesn’t get you anywhere, don’t interfere in my business again.”

With those words Shinji watched as Touji and his friend walked away form them both, out of the courtyard and back into the NERV complex. He let out a sigh as the orange headed woman turned around and fixed her eyes on him, looking him up and down. It felt weird, but the first thing he noticed was just how pretty she was, in the sunlight he could see her bright blue eyes shining, providing a stunning contrast to her fiery orange hair.

“T-Thank you…” he muttered.

“Hmm… So, you’re the pilot of that ship, are you?” She took a few steps forward, continuing to look him up and down. She wore a scowl on her face that seemed to deepen each time she examined him, “Not a lot to you is there? God knows what they’re playing at but I suppose that’s what I have to work with. I’m Asuka, Asuka Langley Soryu and I’m going to be teaching you how to pilot from now on.”

“I… I thought Misa…” Shinji quickly stopped himself, remembering that he was a part of their crew now, “The captain was doing that?”

“What are you? Stupid? Like the captain can keep on babysitting a civilian like you.” Asuka answered, “Besides, didn’t you hear what that creep said, you have one of the Federations finest teaching you now, if anything you should think yourself lucky!”

“Oh…” Shinji wasn’t quite sure what to say to that, nor to the girls boast of her being one of the Federations finest. Still he was thankful that she had saved him from being hit a second time and even more thankful that she had brought out a medical scanner and seemed to be working to heal him.

As she passed the device over his face her frown deepened, “I still wonder, why you of all people? If they needed a pilot then I could have handled that thing no problem. Still, you fought and you won… somehow, I guess dumb luck counts for something!”

“I… don’t really remember winning.” Shinji answered, “I… I didn’t want to pilot but they said I was the only one.”

“You don’t remember? Good.” She stated bluntly, “Because quite frankly you were a disgrace and an embarrassment to the name of pilots, and if I were in your place, I wouldn’t want to remember either. God, I’m going to have my work cut out in getting you up to any sort of standard. I mean, it was almost as if you had never even piloted before.”

“I… hadn’t piloted before.” He answered.

“What?” She raised her voice in disbelieve, “You mean they let a civilian with absolute no experience pilot?”

“I… I didn’t want to.” He reminded her, “They ma…”

“Whatever!” She interrupted him, “We deal with it, come with me. Now!”

Where are we…”

“Holodeck 2, we’re going to…”

Before Asuka could finish her sentence, another person entered the courtyard, it was the girl Shinji had seen before he had agreed to pilot. The one who was going to be made to do it if he hadn’t have done. As she approached, he could see she was still limping, her arm was also still bandaged. She provided a stark contrast to Asuka.

Where Asuka had lengthy red hair, Rei had short blue hair. Asukas’ face was full of colour, Rei was pale. Asuka was dressed in a well-kept Federation uniform, standing proudly. Rei was in a black sleeveless variation of the plugsuit Shinji had worn when he piloted. Whilst you could see the emotional in Asukas’ face, Rei seemed to be a blank state. She looked cold and emotionless, not helped by the Borg technology still present around her left eye and on her right arm.

“ikari, I have been asked to come and collect you.” Rei spoke. This was another contrast, unlike Asuka she was soft spoken.

“Excuse me, but Ikari is a little bit busy right now. We are on our way to the holodeck for training.” Asuka answered for him.

Rei brushed off Asukas’ reply, acting as if Asuka hadn’t even spoken, “Your father and Katsuragi have requested your presence in the launch bay. Another Angel has entered the system.”


	5. Decisions

Before he had gotten changed into his plugsuit, the officer called Asuka had made some attempt to heal up the injuries inflicted by Suzahara’s punch. Unfortunately, despite her managing to fix up the minor cut, the swelling remained and his face was still stinging. In addition, there was further embarrassment on seeing Misato and being briefed on the situation. He was sure she had noticed, there had been a curious glance from both her and Ritsuko but nothing said.

The briefing had been quick and the mission had sounded so simple within the confines of the small NERV briefing room. Another Angel had been detected and seemed to be on course for NERV. It would likely arrive in two hours. Shinji had a simple task, get into Evangelion Unit 01, intercept the Angel and destroy it before it had the chance to enter the NERV system.

Misato had told him that she could be issuing the orders for the mission with Ritsuko serving as support, both inside the NERV command centre. Tactic wise, Shinji was to listen to Misato, follow her instructions and everything would be fine. It didn’t sound like too different a tactic to the first fight, and the memories of how that fight went were still fresh in his mind. Still, at least this time he had some very basic training behind him.

_‘Centre my target, fire phasers until shields are down, hit it with torpedoes… Centre my target, fire phasers until shields are down, hit it with torpedoes…’_

“Hey civilian!” He jumped at the sound of the call and nervously turned around to see Asuka glaring at him from the entrance to the launch bay. She marched up to him, standing firmly in front of him and looking him up and down, “Try to not embarrass yourself this time. Remember, I’ll be watching, show me you’re more capable than that pathetic display last time!”

All he could do was nod meekly at her as he turned around and started on up the entrance ramp into the Evangelion. He gave one final look around the bay, Asuka was still stood glaring at him, his crew of three, a Federation officer and two NERV technicians were moving past him onto the ship. There was no one else there to see him off, Misato and Ritsuko would be in the command centre now and Rei… She had vanished as soon as he reported to Misato. He supposed at least this time there was no Klingon general shouting about honour and glory and striding through the gates of Sto’Vo’Kor.

He took several nervous strides up the ramp into the small cargo bay of the ship. Unlike last time there was no one there to guide him to the central chamber, not that he needed it, the ship was remarkably small and unlike Starfleet ships, whoever designed the interior didn’t seem to care for much beyond the essentials.

Finally, he reached the central chamber, the oppressive cylindrical room with the strange cockpit at its centre. This room was a cold and stark contrast to the bridge of the ship he and Misato had their holodeck lessons on. There was a warmth to the bridge of a Federation starship, it brought with it a feeling of safety. Here it was just him, cold steel, and soon the horrible liquid known as LCL.

He took a deep breath and grabbed one of the handles by his side. With his right hand he tapped a few buttons on the display bringing it to life. Almost immediately afterwards the image of Misato appeared on screen, _“Your crew are taking their position on your bridge Shinji, they’re reporting the ships systems are operational and being brought online. We’re beginning LCL filtration now.”_

He slowed his breathing some more, as the sound of the orange liquid trickling into his chamber could now be heard. There was a small hiss in front of him and he could start to feel it pooling at his feet. Of many things about piloting, this was one of the things he was not looking forward to experiencing again. The idea of being submerged in a liquid, any liquid terrified him. Humans weren’t meant to float he always told himself, that was why he never learned to swim.

This was a sensation totally different from any water though, different from being in a pool or a bath. It was something he didn’t think he’d ever get used to. He closed his eyes as the liquid continued to creep upwards, before long it was at his chin, the stench of it infiltrating his nostrils. Shinji held his breath as it continued to fill, eventually covering him entirely. He counted to 3 before letting the breath out and opening his eyes.

That was the first part of this process over and done with, aside from fighting possibly the worst part of it. Now they would finish bringing the ships systems online before towing him up into space. If that was where it ended then maybe, just maybe he would enjoy it but he knew that was not the end. When he was up there, he would be facing the enemy, his enemy, the Federations enemy… the galaxies enemy.

Would it be the same as last time? Would it be something entirely different?

Around him the walls suddenly started to cycle through their various colours until the launch bay was again revealed to him. Although it wasn’t unpleasant it made him feel strange and somewhat self-conscious. He felt like he was exposed in some strange way, like he was sat on this seat, floating in the middle of the room. To him there wasn’t a ship between where he was and the launch bay, he was now the ship. He could see the engineers walking around, he could see Asuka still stood by the launch bay entrance. He wondered if he waved, would she see that?

“Ship is online.” He reported to Misato, “I can… see the launch bay.”

 _“Good, we’re transporting you outside to the launch pad now.”_ The captain answered.

The next part was probably the most pleasant part of this entire experience, or it would be had he not known what came after it. With each movement of the ship, both out of the bay and into the air he felt his stomach tighten. He tried to steady his nerves by taking in the view around him, the sights as he was brought up into space were spectacular. Everything looked so still and safe and maybe for a second, he could believe that he too was still and safe.

The blue skies and lush green forests soon gave way to cold darkness as the transport drones disengaged leaving him on his own in orbit of the planet. His heart was pounding in his chest and his stomach tightened even more. Now was phase three of the launch, the final connection with the Evangelion.

He did what he had been advised to do by Ritsuko and leaned back in his seat trying to empty his mind of the fear and anxiety. Almost immediately he was greeted by that same familiar sensation from before. The feeling of something above him, a presence embracing him, connecting with him, wanting to protect him. He took one final deep breath as warmth spread throughout him as he accepted this connection.

“I… I’m ready.” He announced, as he looked out across the endless void.

\---

“Piloting a super advanced secret starship! He really doesn’t know how lucky he is!” Kensuke let out a sigh as he slumped back in his seat, “And what about that Soryu? She really is something isn’t she? I mean I had heard the rumours about her but up close she’s...”

“Lucky?” Touji cut him off suddenly, there was more than a hint of anger in his voice.

“Well yeah! Lucky! He gets to be on the cutting edge, he’s fighting in these battles for glory! That’s why I joined the Federation! To be a hero, to follow in the footsteps of Kirk! What about that ship too? I’d love to see that up close, maybe I can get to be on the crew some time!”

“The only lucky thing, is that that bitch stepped in before I could hit him again!” Touji growled, “He’s lucky that he isn’t lying in a hospital bed right now! Or did you forget what he did to my sister?”

“He didn’t...” Kensuke started to speak and trailed off when he saw the glare from Touji, “Look, don’t you think you were a little bit hard on him? I mean... he is only a civilian...”

“Then why agree to pilot it in the first place? Why not let someone else do it who actually can? Why not hand it over to that Soryu bitch that you’re so fond of?”

“You heard him, he said they gave him no choice!” Kensuke answered with a shrug, “I’m just saying, I don’t think you had to hit him like that. You heard the report, what happened to your sister wasn’t his fault. We serve on a starship... that’s the risk we take.”

His words prompted no answer from Touji who seemed to be sulking in his seat. Kensuke went back to piloting the shuttle back to the USS Tokyo. This little diversion had gone on long enough, he had agreed to go down to NERV for a chance to see the facility and maybe get a peek at the ship, not to get revenge for Touji. He could understand his friends' anger, but couldn’t help but feel it was misplaced.

“I’m putting in a course for the Tokyo and preparing to ha... Wait a minute, what the hell is that?”

Kensuke straightened up in his seat and glanced down at the display on their shuttle, it had suddenly picked up a new ship, launching near to their position. He tapped a few more buttons on the LCARs display to try to get a better look at the ship. His mouth dropped open in awe, that was it! That was the mysterious ship he had heard about.

“What the hell is that thing?” Touji asked.

“What do you mean? That’s it! That’s the ship! They must be launching it for some sort of test... or even better, maybe it’s going into combat. I’ve got to see this, I have to!”

“Kensuke, let’s just go back to the Tokyo. There will be reports about it.”

“Oh reports? Do you really think that’s enough? Remember the last report, they said a battle had taken place, nothing else, no footage, no images of the ship or anything. No, I’ve got to see this! I’m going to mask our warp signature and take us in closer, we can follow it and stay hidden from any sensors!”

“Why do you care so much?” Touji protested, “It’s just a dumb starship!”

“Dumb?” Kensuke proclaimed, “That thing took out an enemy that wiped out an entire armada! It has to be one of the most powerful ships created! We have to see this up close, it might be the only chance we get!”

“A moment ago, you were keen to get back the Tokyo!”

“Yes, well that was before this happened! Come on Touji, aren’t you at least a little bit curious?” Kensuke pleaded, “Look, I accompanied you to confront it’s pilot, least you can do is accompany me. Besides, you hurt him pretty bad, shouldn’t we support him if he is going into a fight?”

“Whatever.” Touji finally gave in, “Just make sure we’re well hidden.”

“Don’t worry, I’m an expert at this. Old survival tricks I picked up from my Grandad! We’ll be fine!” Kensuke moved to reassure him as he moved the shuttle to follow the ship at a safe distance. He moved to power down the shuttles non-essential systems, and masked its warp signature. Unless someone was seriously looking for them, which he doubted, they should be fine.

A couple of minutes passed as they tailed the ship, moving out of the system into wider space. It was at this moment Kensuke saw another alert on the shuttle's sensors, “Another ship... is that?”

“What the hell is it now?” Touji groaned with annoyance as he sat up in his seat.

He had his answer fairly quickly as Kensuke put the new ship on screen. A nervousness crept up inside his stomach as he cast his gaze on the strange alien vessel. Its main hull was a half cylinder, at the front was a head like structure, a bulbous, squid like construction. Along the main shaft of the cylinder were a number of greying bone-like tendrils, giving it the look of an exposed ribcage, except it was much more uneven than a ribcage would appear.

At the base of the shape, the bones hung off of it, forming points that seemed to sway freely as the ship moved through space. Along the top of the cylindrical object, near to where the head was, was half a sphere, pulsing bright red.

The nervousness was now a dull ache in his stomach, he could feel sweat forming on his forehead as he realized what this was. This sector was about to turn into a warzone, that was another one of those enemies that had torn through the armada, one that had been fought before and only just been defeated.

Touji didn’t know what to do, he was frozen with fear, the only thing going around his head was the image of Shinji falling to the ground after he had hit him. Now, the only thing standing between Touji and certain death was Shinji. He suddenly felt very stupid, very small and very afraid.

\---

Shinji saw the Angel ahead of him, it was a terrifying being, not quite as big as the previous one but more fearsome looking. For the moment it seemed completely still, save for the weird bone like tendrils that were moving below it. He moved his ship forward at three quarter impulse, as he made his approach, he felt the knot in his stomach tighten.

He was trying to keep his mind clear but what had happened to him moments before he had been briefed on this was running through his head. He couldn’t get the image of how angry that man, Suzahara, had been out of his head. He couldn’t get the image of that man's sister, Sakura, out of his head. He could remember her clearly, she had been cheerful when she had accompanied him, she had smiled at him and because Shinji hadn’t been good enough, she had been hurt because of him.

It had been a bit of an elephant in the room, a point no one had fully addressed when discussing Shinji fighting in the Eva. He had people to look after on this ship, he wasn’t alone in these fights and he was fighting to protect people back at NERV, he was fighting to protect billions of people in the galaxy. His chest tightened at the overwhelming thought.

This seemed insane, once again he wondered if maybe he’d wake up in a moment, safe and sound in his bed on Earth but it had been well over a month since he had left Earth now. This was very real and there was little he could do about it. The best he could do was fight and win.

His thoughts turned to the crew on his ship, they were probably communicating with themselves right now, the two NERV technicians and the Federation lieutenant. They were probably performing scans on the Angel, trying to locate some form of weak point, trying to come up with a plan. It was going to be up to him to carry out that plan though, it was up to him to ensure their safety.

Shinji had to be at his best, but he didn’t know if his best was going to be remotely good enough. He had had one week of lessons on the holodeck, he was still getting used to all the terminology of piloting a ship, still getting used to how to fire weapons and react to things. He hadn’t even fought a proper simulated battle yet. He wondered how this could go any other way than the same as the last time.

 _“Shinji, we’re seeing your sync rate fluctuate. Try to remain calm, remember to keep your mind clear.”_ Dr Akagi’s stern voice came over the comm system.

 _“I know it seems difficult Shinji.”_ Misato added in a slightly softer tone, _“I know you’re probably scared but we have a better idea of what we’re up against than last time. You’ve had some practise; you have this Shinji. Just listen to us, listen to your crew. You are not alone.”_

He took a deep breath and made another attempt to clear his mind of the stray thought that were nagging at him. It was so much easier said than done, how could he possibly empty his mind when there was so many thoughts threatening to intrude. All he could do was nod and answer them, “I’ll try.”

As he tried to push the other thoughts out, another one suddenly entered his head. As his ship flew forward at thousands upon thousands of miles per second, as he flew into battle, would his father be watching any of this? Had his father been there during the last battle? He didn’t know much about his father, or what he did. Aside from the brief moment in the hospital he hadn’t seen or heard anything of him since the day he had agreed to pilot.

_‘Father… Are you watching this? Do you even care? Are you proud of me? Do you hate me?’_

As that thought when through his head, he suddenly felt something strange, the air around him seemed to thicken and it felt like his chamber was getting warmer. It felt like the presence that he made a connection with when he piloted was reacting to those thoughts of his father, and for a brief moment it felt like it was angry. Shinji was almost certain he could sense it, it lasted for barely a second but it was there.

He never really thought too much about what the Evangelion was, about this strange control method or the presence he felt. No one had taken him to one side to explain what the ship was and why it was so different to other ships. He just did as he was told, got on it and piloted it.

 _“I don’t know what you just did Shinji, but your sync rate has just jumped up by five points!”_ Dr Akagi’s voice came over the comm, slightly softer than before.

 _“Good work Shinji!”_ Misato followed up, _“Now maintain your course and keep your shields up! Initial analysis from your crew has identified what we think is a weak point in the Angels A.T. Field, we’re transmitting the data to your console now. Focus your fire there, weaken it with your phasers and when we break through, let it have it with your torpedoes.”_

“O-Okay.” He answered nervously as he pushed the ship further forward and brought it up to red alert status. Around him was a loud siren indicating the shift in status, he watched the display as the shields were raised to 100% and his weapons systems sprang to life, forward, port and starboard phaser arrays all reported as functional, his aft and forward torpedo launched reported back as being online.

Ahead of him the Angel was getting closer, its imposing figure posing a vast contrast to this peaceful voice. Shinji’s eyes were focused on the enemy, the orb on top of it pulsing slightly and the bone-like tendrils beneath squirming and snapping. Suddenly he saw a glow being emitted from one of front tendrils, remembering some of the advice Misato had given him he sped the ship up and banked it harshly to his port side.

Just as he banked three bright streams of light jetted forth from the bottom of the Angel, each beam aimed at the Evangelions position. Shinji kept banking at the desired speed and watched as each of the beams passed by his ship, missing by the narrowest of margins. Almost immediately he readied his own weapons, he brought the ship into position and pushed onwards, the front and starboard phaser arrays coming to life.

He waited for confirmation from his console that he had a lock, as soon as it reported confirmation of the lock, he sent forth an attack of his own. The first beam was sent forward, colliding with and being absorbed by the Angel’s mighty A.T. Field. As the phaser collided with the A.T. Field Shinji saw huge ripples of octagonal light illuminate the Angel, showing the extent of its field.

A second shot followed and then a third immediately afterwards. Each one smashing into the same location on the Angels A.T. Field. Each shot smashing into and being absorbed, but each one causing the light to grow more and more intense, going from a light orange to a deep dark colour.

Shinji pushed his ship on, seeing that his starboard phasers were now drained he banked sharply to bring the ship around and ready another volley from his port side. He fired, once again at the agreed upon co-ordinates. The first beam picked up where the previous had left off, smashing into the A.T. Field, the net of octagons rippled through space. The second beam also collided, Shinji was almost certain he could see a large crack forming, almost as if he was repeatedly punching through a window.

Without waiting for the second beam to finish he sent forward a third, he looked on as the orange octagon darkened one final time before turning to a bright white and then seemingly shattering. Both beams moved through, hitting the top of the Angel’s cylindrical hull, scorching the area around the pulsing red orb.

For a moment Shinji felt like celebrating, but he knew it wasn’t over yet. There were more bright flashes as several cross shaped explosions lit up on the hull of the Angel. Shinji brought the ship around again, lining up the aft torpedo bay, letting loose a full spread of torpedoes.

 _“We’ve broken through the Angel’s A.T. Field!”_ Reported the elated crew member on his bridge, _“Evangelion Unit 01s shields are holding stead! We are…. Wait, NERV, we’ve picked up another vessel in the sector!”_

\---

**NERV Command Centre**

“Get it on screen immediately!” Misato angrily ordered as she took a few anxious steps forward, she glanced up at the viewscreen. How could another ship had gotten into the sector without them knowing about it? Just what the hell was it even doing there?

It took a second but just as had been reported, there was indeed another vessel in the sector. Much to Misato’s horror it was a shuttlecraft from the USS Tokyo.

“What the hell is that doing there?” She asked, to no one in particular, “Hail them, now!”

“Aye Captain.” Responded one of the NERV technicians at their console, “Hailing frequencies are now open.”

“Shuttlecraft Tokyo-Alpha One, this is Captain Katsuragi, you better have a damn good explanation for just what the hell you’re doing out there!”

It took barely a second for part of the view screen to change to show the inside of the shuttle. There had been a part of her that had hoped maybe there had been a malfunction or some stray alien species might have hijacked the shuttle but sure enough two of her crewmen were inside the craft, both looking very sheepish. Anger swelled within her; this was an embarrassment she didn’t need right now.

She looked from one to the other, recognizing both of them immediately. Both Ensigns, both fresh out of the academy. The first one was Kensuke Aida, a member of her engineering staff, a bright young man with what could be a promising future. The other was Touji Suzahara, both he and his twin sister had been assigned to the Tokyo. His sister, Sakura, had been part of the team that escorted her when they first visited NERV.

 _“C-Captain...”_ Touji began to speak, _“We can explain...”_

“Save it.” Misato snarled as she cut him off, we can deal with that later. Get yourselves back to the Tokyo, immediately.”

“Yes captain.” They both mumbled as the feed went out.

Misato could feel the eyes of the Commander and Sub Commander on her, piercing her back. She did not turn around to face them, nor apologize for what had just happened. It was an embarrassment for sure, but there was still a fight to win. Dealing with this now would be a distraction. She watched as the viewscreen went back to show Shinji’s ship, the shuttle began to move away.

“Captain, we’re starting to pick something up within the Angel... A build-up of energy!”

Misato had no time to give the order for Shinji and the shuttle to raise their shields before a huge flash of light suddenly erupted from the middle of the Angel. She cursed under her breath as the anxiety started to kick in. Things had been going well, perhaps too well, so she should have been prepared for something like this.

The light subsided revealing the Angel, still intact, the Eva seemed to be holding steady and the shuttlecraft was still there.

“Get me a status report.” She ordered as she took a few steps forward, placing her hands on the back of Ritsuko’s seat and digging her nails into the leather. She kept her eyes fixed on the screen, glancing downwards only when she let a stray finger brush itself lightly against the blondes' shoulder. She wished she could show more affection, but now was not the time.

Her only response from Ritsuko was a quick glance upwards, a look of what might seem to some to be irritation, a stern glare that might intimidate most but to Misato it was a signal. There was a softness in Ritsuko’s eyes conveying a message that all was going to be okay.

“Reports are coming in, Evangelion Unit 01 seems to be fine, they’re reporting no damage but their shields have dipped to 78%.”

“What about the shuttle?” Misato asked.

“Shields are down to 12%, the ship is intact but...” The technician paused for a moment, “Their other systems have been knocked out, they’re completely dead in the water captain.”

“Damnit.” Misato said as she took a step backwards and tried to consider her options. She wasn’t about to let those people on the shuttlecraft die, even if she was incredibly angry at them. She needed that Angel defeating quickly, and to get the shuttlecraft rescued, “Okay, hail the shuttle again.”

The channel was opened, the image of the two ensigns appeared again, both looking slightly more shaken than last time, “Suzahara, Aida, we’ve been briefed on your situation. I’m going to order the Tokyo to travel to your position and pick you both up. Do whatever you can in the meantime to keep yourselves hidden, mark your signatures, use only essential systems.”

 _“Got it.”_ Suzahara answered.

Misato was about to ask for a hailing channel to be opened with Maya aboard the Tokyo when she suddenly saw the Evangelion had altered its course, it was no longer going towards the Angel but was instead moving back towards the shuttle. She ordered a hailing frequency be opened with the Eva.

“Shinji, what are you doing? Stick to the plan, the Angel is your priority!”

 _“I can’t!”_ Shinji answered immediately, _“If they get hit then they’ll!”_

“I’m sending in the Tokyo!” Misato replied, “They’ll be fine, you have your task Shinji!”

“No, I won’t let anyone get hurt because of me, not again!”

The channel was closed, Misato cursed again under her breath, Shinji must have known about what happened to the officer. She had been informed of an incident but not of the full details. It didn’t take much for her to piece things together, Shinji had clearly been hit and patched up, badly, before the briefing. Suzahara being on a shuttle leaving the planet, there had been discussions about his stubbornness and hard headedness when he and his sister was assigned to the Tokyo.

Everything had been going so well and now it was in danger of falling apart. All she could do was watch as the Evangelion continued its journey towards the waiting shuttlecraft. Behind it she could see the Angel seemingly charging another attack. Misato didn’t need the technology in the room to tell her where the attack was going. All she could do was look on in horror was a beam was sent forth by the Angel.

Evangelion Unit 01 suddenly increased its speed, banking to its port side. There was a bright flash as the beam from the Angel collided with a solid orange light.

“SHINJI!” She yelled out, rushing forward once more to the back of Ritsuko’s chair. Her eyes were focused on nothing but Shinji’s ship as it continued to speed towards the shuttle, and several more beams were sent forward by the Angel. Beam after beam was blocked by the Evangelions own shields, she was aware of one of the technicians calling out that the shields were now down to 43%.

Her hands dug into the back of Ritsuko’s chair as she heard the founds of Shinji in battle, he was in pain, screaming out as he blocked the attacks, shielding the shuttle from harm. She became aware of Ritsuko’s hand on hers, squeezing it gently.

“Captain, Shinji is within transporter range of the shuttle. He’s... got them locked on.” The technician reported.

Misato held her breath as she saw another shot be sent forward by the Angel. If Shinji was transporting them on board it meant only one thing, his shields were going to be down for the duration of the procedure, if he messed this up then that was it. Rituko’s hand squeezed a little bit tighter, there was a bright flash as weapons fire collided with its target.

\---

Touji’s heart was pounding rapidly in his chest as he opened his eyes slowly, his hands still raised to shield himself from the bright light. Much to his relief he and Kensuke were not in fact dead, but had been transported at the last second to the bridge of the ship. He lowered his hands and looked out at the viewscreen, only to see the shuttlecraft he was previously on exploding into a million pieces.

The sight of the shuttle made his stomach tighten, that very well could have been him. He shot a look at Kensuke, who had gone deathly pale. He was so frightened he couldn’t even bring himself to be angry at his friend for suggesting they follow the ship. He was just relieved that he was not dead. That relief lasted barely a second before he realized he was still caught in the middle of a fight, and even if they were to survive, he still had to face Captain Katsuragi.

“Captain, we have Suzahara and Aida safely on board.” One of the people on the bridge reported.

 _“You have them?”_ The captain’s voice was heard over the comm, _“Good! What is your status?”_

“Our shields are still at 43%.” She answered, “We’re battered but holding up.”

 _“Good, Shinji can you hear me?”_ The captain asked next.

 _“Y-Yes…”_ Touji’s heart leapt into his throat as he heard the stammering voice answer his captain. Shinji had just saved the pair of them. He had risked his own life to save them.

 _“Good, I’m changing the plan. I want you to retreat to this sector.”_ Misato began to give her instructions, _“When here rendezvous with the USS Tokyo. They, along with the planet’s defences will assist you in taking out the Angel. You’ve already damaged the A.T. Field, with our combined efforts we should be able to handle the rest.”_

Touji was about to let out a sigh of relief on hearing the orders from his captain. The sense of relief was only fleeting when he saw that Shinji was not moving the ship away from the Angel, but was starting to move towards it.

 _“Shinji, what the hell are you doing?”_ Touji heard Misato call out angrily over the comms, _“I ordered you to retreat!”_

 _“N-No… I can’t…”_ Shinji answered back, _“If I retreat then it puts more people at risk, they could be hurt… I…”_

Touji could do nothing but look on, he wanted to yell out to Shinji to not be stupid, to listen to the captain but fear gripped him entirely. He never considered himself to be someone easily frightened, he was strong and athletic, he was on the security team, but now… he was frightened. He could only imagine what Shinji was feeling right now, knowing what was at stake.

The ship increased its speed and continued moving towards the Angel. A beam was sent out from the Angel, the ship suddenly banked and dodged out of the way.

“Wha… What’s going on?” He heard Kensuke exclaim next to him as the ship returned fire, phasers burst forward scorching the hull of the Angel.

A NERV technician at the front replied, “Shinji has full control of the ship! He’s redistributing power from all non-essential systems and increasing power to the shields. We’re currently at 63% and rising but… I don’t know how much longer he can hold out.”

“Ikari… You heard her!” Touji called out as he watched the ship dodge another blast from the Angel and return fire, “She said retreat! This is…”

 _“No!”_ Came the answer, _“I won’t… I have to stop it! If I don’t now… people will be hurt!”_

As Shinji’s voice trailed off another beam was sent forward from the Angel, it too was moving, seemingly struggling to get away from the ship. The ship banked to starboard, not fast enough to completely dodge the attack. Touji winced as he heard Shinji scream out in pain.

“That… hurt him?” He asked, panicking as he dashed forward to one of the NERV technicians.

“Shinji is directly hooked up to the ship, when it gets attacked it creates a feedback loop.” The technician explained as their fingers darted across the console, “He’s rerouting all the systems, boosting the power of the shields around the bridge… in all essential areas aside from his chamber.”

As the technician finished speaking the ship was rocked by another hit, on the viewscreen Touji saw a ripple of bright orange hexagons flash in front of him. He stumbled backwards, as another shot rocked the ship. Nearby, Kensuke was sent flying to the floor, a console sparked as Shinji returned fire.

“SHIELDS ARE HOLDING STEADY AT 55%!” Reported the Starfleet officer.

There were more screams of pain from Shinji as the battle continued, the ship would fire at the Angel, landing hits on the immense hull. The Angel would return fire, its shots colliding with the shields but each shot causing Shinji to scream out. His screams were harrowing, each one making Touji cringe, was this what it meant to be a pilot of this damn thing?

As they got closer, Touji could see more and more of the full grotesque form of the Angel. Never in his craziest dreams of nightmares could he envision an entity such as this. Was this the same as the ship they had fought previously? What race was even responsible for this thing?

There was another blast of the phasers sent towards the Angel, Touji watched as the attack landed on the ship’s hull, the bone like tendrils exploding in bright cross shaped explosions of light. Following up immediately, a full spread of torpedoes was sent forward. Torpedo after torpedo smashed into the hull of the ship, landing on and around the bridge red orb situated on the top of its hull.

There were more explosions and then, a bright flash of light erupted from the Angel. Once again, the ship shook violently, knocking Touji off of his feet. He yelled out as he landed harshly on his shoulder. Pain shot through his body, there was a ringing in his ears caused by the loud sounds of another console popping and sparking near to him.

He lay still for a few moments, the bridge hung in complete silence and slowly and painfully he shifted around and looked up at the viewscreen. The Angel had stopped moving, all of its tendrils lay still and the bright red pulsing orb pulsed no longer. No one said anything but he knew that it was dead, somehow, they had won.

Silence hung over the bridge, there was no communication from the captain, no words from Touji and Kensuke, neither the Starfleet officer or the NERV technician said anything. There was nothing but silence and then the sounds of a person crying softly.


	6. Turn The Cities Into Families

Misato was never fond of being in a situation like this. Of course, all times prior to this she had been the one on the other side of the desk being reprimanded. It had happened across a number of ships across all her ranks, from Ensign through to Commander she had had to stand in that spot and either apologize, justify herself or in the case of one angry captain, experience a very loud telling off. She had already made a note to ensure she was never like that particular captain.

She wondered if the captains she had dealt with ever felt like this? If they ever enjoyed this sort of thing or if they, like her, hated the idea of it. To make matter worse, the person facing her was Shinji Ikari, the young man she had brought to this damn place. The young man that had been made to fight in that damn ship but also the young man who had defied her direct orders twice.

To Misato’s left was Ritsuko, she had been sent along as a representative of NERV for these proceedings. Misato was actually thankful for the woman’s presence but did have to wonder why NERV had decided to send anyone at all. She had not seen either Gendo Ikari nor Fuyutsuki since the battle against the Angel, nor had any official communication from them. It seemed their method of command was very hands off, the job had been done so anything else could be left to others.

“Crewman Shinji Ikari.” Misato kept her voice as firm as she could as she locked her eyes on the nervous young man, “You are here to discuss todays operation, specifically, your conduct in following my orders.”

“Okay.” Shinji answered in a tone that surprised Misato somewhat. Despite the nervous appearance there was no trace of it in his voice, nor was their any of the softness that she had grown accustomed too. Instead it had been replaced with a harsher, more arrogant and perhaps frightening familiar tone.

“So…” She paused for a moment, “I’d like to know why you decided to ignore not one but two of my direct orders.”

She kept her eyes locked on him and waited for some sort of response. It was obvious that Shinji was posturing, but it just seemed so sudden a change. He remained silent, his body shifting awkwardly and out of the corner of her eye she could see his hand clenching into a fist and unclenching. He was nervous, that much was obvious but she was fighting her urge to soften her stance. She needed to drill home a message.

She allowed more time to pass to give him an opportunity to say something. No words came.

“Well Shinji… Can you explain?” She prompted him.

“We beat the Angel, so why does what I did matter?” Shinji finally answered.

He didn’t meet her gaze as he replied and she could hear the trembling in his voice. His attempt at posturing wasn’t very good. Either he wasn’t fully committed to taking this stance or it was just not something he was good at. Still, the fact that he was even trying was something of a surprise.

“It matters…” Misato started to speak, “Because defeating the Angel by any means isn’t the only thing that I’m concerned about. I have a ship and I have a crew.”

“Which is still here!” Shinji cut her off suddenly, “The ship was saved! The planet was saved and NERV is fine! No one was hurt!”

“But they could have been.” She answered him, keeping her voice as calm as possible, “And you could have been as well. I gave you an order to retreat, you had already brought down the Angel’s A.T. Field and damaged it. The planets defenses and the Tokyo could have supported you in the rest via a coordinated attack. Those orders were to protect the people on your ship, and to protect you.”

“As long as I win… does that even matter? Isn’t that all you and my father care about?”

The traces and hints of arrogance had faded from his voice and his eyes remained glued to the ground. Misato kept her eyes fixed on him and had the feeling that perhaps his attempt at posturing was fading, now she was getting to the root cause, his father. She took a moment to try to think of the best way to answer him. His question had annoyed her, being compared to his father wasn’t something she desired nor expected. Besides, hadn’t she already shown that she cared for both him and her crew?

“No, that is not all that I care about.” She snapped back, “Shinji, you are a member of this crew and don’t forget, that is a role that you accepted!”

“I didn’t have any choice!” He raised his voice, “If I didn’t accept it then what would happen? Who would pilot that thing? No one, would they? There isn’t anyone, unless you’d make that injured girl do it?”

Misato paused for a moment and wanted to tell him that there was always a choice but she knew his words had that horrible sting of truth to them. He had a point; Hobson had struck again.

“I know the position you’re in isn’t easy for you Shinji and honestly… maybe you’re right, if not you then I don’t know what could be done.” She started to answer, “But if this is going to be your attitude towards it then maybe it is better you leave.”

“You know I can’t…”

“Then at least let us actually help you.” She replied, “You’re in this situation and you can hate it all you want but if you want to live and if you want to make sure you don’t hurt people then you can’t act selfish like this nor can you disobey my orders like that. You are a part of this crew!”

“I…”

“You got lucky today Shinji but luck like that doesn’t last forever and you can’t rely on it but you crew… your captain, they are the people you can rely on.” She softened her voice, “I don’t want to lose any of my crew and that includes you. I know this isn’t easy for you, but I… and everyone here is looking out for you. Trust in us.”

“Are we done?” He asked, making an attempt to return the coldness to his voice.

“Yes, for now. I want you to think about this conversation Shinji and what you truly want. If you really don’t want to be here and think you can’t handle this then… I will try to arrange something but if you are going to continue then you need to realize you can’t act like you have done, you will put yourself and others at risk.”

Shinji remained silent, offering up no answer for Misato. There was a moment where he looked like he was about to say something but instead he silently turned and left the room. Misato’s eyes didn’t stop watching him until the door to her office slid shut. As soon as it had done, she let out a sigh and turned to Ritsuko, “What the hell was that about? A week or so ago I could barely get a word out of him! Now, he’s answering back to me like a moody teenager!”

Ritsuko smirked as she rose from her seat and made her way around to the back of Misato’s seats. Misato let out another sigh as Ritsuko started to gently massage Misato’s shoulders, “He is his father’s son… A moody bastard.”

Misato chucked as she felt some of the tension in his shoulders leaving her as Ritsuko’s hands began to work their magic, “Gendo Ikari… Do you actually know him well?”

Ritsuko shook her head, “He keeps his distance, speaking to me only when Rei needs some ‘maintenance’ or for project updates for the Evangelion. I’ve heard whispers of what he was like when he was younger, mostly my mother’s reports from before she died and the occasional chat with Fuyutsuki.”

“And what was he like?”

“A bit of a prick.” Ritsuko answered.

“Not much has changed…” Misato replied, “Judging by how he treated his son… Do you think I was too harsh on Shinji?”

“You’re the captain, it’s your call to deal with your crew as you wish and besides… I’m not your second officer. I’m just NERVs representative.” Ritsuko smirked.

“You are more than that and you know it.” Misato smiled as she reached up and squeezed Ritsuko’s hand.

“Oh, I do.” Ritsuko smiled, “Okay well… In my expert opinion, Shinji is showing a classic example of the ‘Hedgehogs Dilemma.’”

Misato leaned more into the massage, “The what?”

“There ‘Hedgehogs Dilemma’, think of it as a defense mechanism. So… A hedgehog, you do know what they are right?”

“Contrary to popular belief, I’m not an idiot.” Misato groaned.

“Your work at the academy, at least before I helped you, would say otherwise.” Ritsuko chuckled, “A hedgehog defends itself using its quills, this, in theory, prevents any predators from getting close to it. The dilemma is that the same quills that defend them also prevent them from getting close to a mate, they hurt one another. So that which defends them also hurt them, they end up lonely.”

“So… Shinji is doing this?”

“Shinji wants to get close to people, he wants contact from others but he is also scared of letting people get close because he thinks he’ll get hurt. So… in cases like now he’ll act out to defend himself, hoping that people will leave him alone and he won’t be hurt.”

“Isn’t that just a risk you take?” Misato asked, “People can’t avoid being hurt… he’ll only end up hurting himself!”

“True, but he has control over that pain.” Ritsuko answered, “He can manage it, the pain he inflicts on himself isn’t as severe as the pain he thinks will come from others.”

“So… Him acting up now, he wants us to give up on him? Leave him to it, so that… we can’t hurt him. What does he think will happen?”

“Think about it, his mother died when he was young followed very quickly by his father abruptly leaving him.” Ritsuko answered/

“I suppose… that would mess a person up.” Misato let out a sigh, “Maybe I was too hard on him then… He shouldn’t even be here, instead I… eagerly brough him onto the crew, made him an officer and I’m expecting him to just match that. I bet he sees me as just like his father.”

“I don’t think so.” Ritsuko cut her off, “Shinji is… scared of his father, he hasn’t sought him out or really asked about him since being here, yet you… he speaks to you and he was talking back to you just now. I think what just happened was him testing you.”

“So, what… he wants to see if I will just give up on him?”

“Exactly!”

“I see.” Misato paused to think about it, “Well… I’m certainly not going to give up on him. I’ll support and fight for him, I want him to be comfortable here and to feel like a part of this crew. Even if… deep down I know he shouldn’t be here. Seems… no matter what I want to do, I can’t win.”

“That’s what being a captain is all about, don’t you remember the Kobayashi Maru?”

“Of course.” Misato smirked, “But I beat the Kobayashi Maru… sort of.”

Ritsuko continued the massage, “Yes… I remember, the instructors weren’t best pleased with your attempt to… what was it, ‘Pull a Kirk’?”

“Men get away with so much.” Misato sighed, “Well… There is always a solution and my solutions are nothing if not… creative. For now, let’s get those other two idiots in and deal with that.”

\---

“Asuka! Over here!”

Asuka paused on hearing her name be called, she looked around the courtyard and saw a young woman waving at her. Hikari Horaki, another ensign assigned to the Tokyo and one of Asuka’s, well she supposed she would call Hikari a friend. Asuka didn’t really have friends, she had spent most of her life alone and that was just how she liked it. She could focus solely on herself, on her education, on her career, on advancing through the ranks and proving herself. Friends… Lovers… they only held a person back, they only slowed people down and they only ended up hurting you.

Yet, somehow Hikari had managed to slip through tracks and the two were ‘friends’, meeting up on regular occasions and discussing the gossip of the day, their futures and in HIkari’s case, their past. Not in Asukas, for her the past was where it was supposed to be and never to be brought up again. It had started in the first year of their Academy tenure, the two had been put together for an assignment and unlike many others who irritated Asuka, Hikari had not. The girl was both smart and serious about what she wanted to do. She had held the position of class president in school before the academy and provided Asuka with some competition in their classes. Perhaps at first it had seemed advantageous for Asuka to be friends with her but now there was a genuine friendship there.

“Hikari!” Asuka called back and swiftly crossed the courtyard to Hikari’s position. The sun was beating down on her, causing her uniform to cling to her. She had only been on the planet a handful of times but she was finding it to be unbearably hot and the sounds of the native wildlife unbearably loud.

“It’s a warm planet isn’t it?” Hikari asked her as Asuka took a seat next to her.

Asuka nodded, “Far too hot, and it looks like I’m going to be down here a lot too.”

“Oh, how come?” Hikari pulled out a box with lunch in from her backpack, “Has the captain got you working the security detail down here?”

“Hah, as if someone like me would be lumped in with such a trivial assignment!” Asuka laugh, “No, you Hikari Horaki are looking at the person responsible for training our little civilian pilot!”

“Wait… You’re training him?” Hikari exclaimed in surprise, “The pilot of that craft! But… when… why?”

“I found out yesterday.” Asuka smirked, “As for why, well… why not? I mean, look at my scores back in the academy! One of the best pilots and tacticians to come out of the academy, so why not me?”

“That’s amazing!” Hikari grinned, “So… the pilot! What is he like?”

“Dull.” Asuka let out a sigh, “He’s just some civilian that got brought here, honestly, I don’t know how someone like that was chosen. He has absolutely nothing to him at all.”

“But he fought that battle yesterday and won, didn’t he?”

“Of course, he won! All because I took the time to visit him before hand and let him know he’d be getting training from one of the academies finest!” Asuka boasted, “A boost like that, anyone would have won!”

Hikari laughed, “Support that would give anyone confidence! I don’t really understand it though. Why was a civilian chosen to pilot a ship like that and fight in those sorts of battles? Surely, it’d make more sense to select someone from Starfleet! I bet you could do it!”

Asuka shrugged, “Of course I could but don’t ask me, I think it’s stupid too, we trained for years to get to where we are and now our job is to protect some dumb untrained civilian. I spoke to the captain about it, orders from up high she said! I did a bit more digging, turns out the director of this place is his father, so that’ll be what it is. Trying to steal glory from us, nepotism at its finest!”

“I’m not sure.” Hikari shook her head, “Didn’t you say he had no experience? I feel sorry for him, it must be scary being put in that situation. I mean, aren’t you a little bit…”

Hikari trailed off at sight of the glare from Asuka, “A little bit… what?

“Scared!” Hikari answered, “Of all of this! It’s not really what our first assignment should be! The Tokyo is a science vessel, not build for war. We’re out here in the Gamma Quadrant. Between those strange ships and the Dominion I…”

Hah!” Asuka cut her off, “We’ll be fine! Of course, I’m not scared and you have no reason to be either! We’re in Starfleet.”

“I know that but… I guess it’s easier for you.” Hikari answered, “You got into a barfight with a Klingon… and won!”

Asuka grinned, “And that is exactly why you have no reason to be frightened. Worst case is, the civvie gets himself in a bit of trouble, captain and the leaders of this godforsaken place see sense and send me in. Anyway, with me training him that won’t happen, I’ll also have to teach him to defend himself from those idiot ensigns in security too.”

“Oh? What idiots?”

“Nothing major…” Asuka shook her head, “Caught one of them yesterday trying to use the civvie as some sort of punching bad. Your truly stepped in to see if they fancied trying it on someone who could and would fight back.”

“Wait what!?” Hikari exclaimed, “Who? Did you tell the captain?”

“No, I did not tell the captain. I can handle that sort of crap myself.” Asuka replied, “As far as who, I don’t remember, some jock moron, Touji… Suza…miya… maya… hiri? I don’t know.”

“Suzahara?” Hikari said, suddenly standing up.

“That’s it!” Asuka confirmed, “Do you know him?”

Hikari nodded, “Yeah… I knew him, we went to the same school together. I was friends with his sister! They’re twins, both went into the academy together.”

“Was he as much of a moron back then as he is now?”

Hikari laughed, “A little bit, he was also overly protective of his sister. Used to challenge any boy to a fight who’d look at her. His heart was in the right place… even if his brain wasn’t.”

\---

Misato rose from her seat and slowly made her way around to the front of her desk. In front of her were two of her ensigns, Kensuke Aida and Touji Suzahara. Names not exactly familiar to her, they weren’t part of her hand-picked crew but a number of academy graduates put on her ship. She knew that Touji had a sister, Sakura, who had been hurt badly during the first Angel encounter. Something Misato regretted immensely.

Unlike yesterday, Ritsuko was not in the room for her to confide in before or afterwards. It seemed NERV did not consider this important so had summoned Ritsuko back to the planet. Also, much like yesterday, she was not exactly relishing this moment. Reprimanding two graduates like this wasn’t something she hoped, nor expected to do. She was also very annoyed because unlike Shinji and his actions, these two should know far better.

She folded her arms, her glare panning from Kensuke over to Touji.

“Ensign Touji Suzahara… Ensign Kensuke Aida. Both of you fresh graduates of Starfleet Academy and on your first assignment. I’m sure I don’t have to explain to the two of you why you’re here, do I?”

“No captain.” They both muttered in unison, sounding like two children being reprimanded by a teacher.

“Good.” She paused, “You know… I’ve seen and heard of a lot of stupid things during my time in Starfleet. Maybe I’ve even partaken in a few stupid things but what happened yesterday is probably at the top end of that list.”

Neither of them said anything nor did they make eye contact with her as she continued speaking.

“Not only did your actions put yourselves in danger, but you also put the pilot and crew of that ship in danger. By doing that you put the very crew of this ship in danger and the people of that colony. Is that understood?”

“Yes captain.” Came the answer, again in a guilty unison.

“You are both supposed to be representatives of Starfleet, an example of the bright future it has and based on your actions yesterday, if that is our future then I’m very concerned for it.” She continued speaking, “So, I’m left with the question of how to proceed; the way I see it, I have two options. Do I have you both transferred off of my ship now, escorted back to Earth with a report detailing how you both used one of my shuttles for personal usage and put us all at risk. Or, do I take a risk on the two fo you and we move forward with an understanding that such a thing will never happen again.”

She paused again allowing for one of them to answer. As expected, no answer came.

“it’s a choice between ruining the careers of two promising young Ensigns or gambling on the chances that neither of you will pull something so stupid again.”

“It was my fault, not Touji’s! Send me back to Earth!” Kensuke suddenly exclaimed, stepping forward and causing Misato to raise her eyebrow in surprise.

“Ensign Aida, do explain.”

Kensuke looked back at Touji for a moment and then turned back to Misato, “When we were travelling back to the Tokyo, I saw that ship launch. I thought it was just a test run or maybe some sort of simulation. It’s… an amazing ship and I wanted to see it up close. I asked Touji if we could follow it and we did. I masked our warp signature and everything so we wouldn’t be seen. It was only supposed to be a quick look but…”

“Enough.” Misato held up her hand to silence Kensuke, “Your honesty is appreciated. Is this true Suzahara?”

Touji nodded, “Yes… He asked but… I agreed to it! You can’t just punish him.”

“I see.” Misato paused to think a little bit about the situation. A stunt like this she might have expected from a civilian but not actual officers. The fact that Aida had succumbed to this sort of thing concerned her. People had hobbies and interests, that was not generally a problem but when it put others at risk like this, she wondered if Starfleet was a good place for him at all. You can’t put someone in danger because a ship is ‘cool.’

“I won’t lie, what you have told me is a concern. We are not on shore leave and this is not Risa. You cannot just do something like that because you want to look at a ship up close.” Misato spoke, “Do you understand?”

“I do.” Kensuke nodded.

“Good. So, this is what I’m going to do, I can’t completely overlook this issue but I’m going to regard your actions as an internal incident and take it no further. That means Starfleet command will not hear of it, nor will there be any blemishes on your record.” She continued, “I’m going to be keeping a very close eye on the two of you though and do not think for one second you will be escaping from this without some form of disciplinary procedure. Both of you are to report to Ibuki tomorrow, they will deal with you. Understood?”

The two of them nodded, “Good. You are both at the start of your Starfleet careers, see to it that it doesn’t end early and do not make a fool of me.”

“We won’t.” Kensuke replied, “Thank you captain.”

“Good.” Misato nodded back, “Now Aida, you’re dismissed, I have something else I need to speak to Ensign Suzahara about.”

The two men exchanged a confused glance but Kensuke left the room, leaving Touji alone with Misato.

“Captain?” Touji asked, clearly confused as to why he had been asked to remain behind.

“You know, a part of me understands why Aida suggested what he did. I can almost appreciate the level of enthusiasm in him, even if it was a bit misguided.” Misato spoke, “What I can’t appreciate though, is misguided aggression from my officers, do you know what I mean?”

“N-No…”

“Don’t bullshit me ensign.” Misato quickly spat back, “Do you seriously think I wouldn’t find out? Did you think that NERV and its facilities exist in some sort of vacuum where people are free to act as they please?”

“Soryu…” Touji started.

“No, not Soryu!” Misato cut him off, “How I know isn’t relevant, what is relevant is that you, a Starfleet Officer, assaulted a civilian for no reason.”

“He hurt my sister!” Touji protested.

“It was by my orders she ended up on the bridge of that ship, are you going to hit me too?” Misato asked him.

“No captain.” Touji answered.

“Now, I am sorry about your sister, I truly am. I don’t want any of this crew to get hurt but that is the unfortunate risk we all take when we put this uniform on.” Misato informed him.

“It shouldn’t have been him piloting! He’s just a civilian!”

“No, it shouldn’t have been.” Misato confirmed, “Do you really think I was happy putting a civilian in the line of fire like that? Do you not think that if I had a choice that maybe I’d have done things differently?”

“I…”

“But even if I had that option to put an officer of my choosing in there, your sister could still have been hurt. What would you have done then? Assaulted a fellow officer?”

“I… I don’t know…” Was his response.

“If you have an issue with my orders or my decision making then you are more than welcome to feed this back to your head of department. I will happily welcome feedback and will work to find a solution but I won’t welcome officers taking matters into their own hands like that.” She replied, “You should know better than this.”

“I was…” Touji stopped midway through his sentence, there was a clear frustration in his voice, “I’m sorry. Was he okay?”

“Who?”

“The pilot…” Touji answered, “He was… He seemed hurt when we beamed aboard.”

“He will be fine. He’ll experience a bit of discomfort for a couple of days but most of the pain seems to be psychological. This thing… has taken a toll on him. He isn’t a trained officer like me or you. He isn’t prepared for this way of life, he’s a civilian caught up in something he shouldn’t be.”

“I… made things worse, didn’t I?” Toujis eyes suddenly widened in horror, “I… What he did…”

The man trailed off as the memories of his brief time on that ship came back to him. He heard Shinji disobeying orders, heard Shinji talking about how no one else could get hurt and he heard him crying afterwards. He felt a knot in his gut.

“Actions have consequences Suzahara.” Misato reminded him sternly, “We’re not on a playground here. You were on that ship and you heard that exchange. I’m going to say the same thing to you that I said to Shinji, we were lucky yesterday but luck like that doesn’t last forever.”

Misato could see that the façade Touji had adopted early had fully faded. She was seeing him for what he was, an inexperienced Ensign playing the tough man. An over-protective brother who had only seen what was immediately in front of him. A hurt and confused man, who picked the wrong outlet for his anger.

“He disobeyed those orders because of me…”

“Perhaps.” Misato nodded, “I by no means want to put the blame for his actions squarely on you. At the end of the day the one responsible for Shinji’s actions are Shinji himself but everything he has experienced for the last month has influenced those actions, including what you did.”

“I’m… sorry.” Touji said, shaking his head, “If you want to transfer me away then…”

“I don’t want to transfer you away from the ship.” Misato cut him off, “I want you to understand how everything we do has a consequence.”

“Then… should I report to the brig?”

“No.” She shook her head, “Whilst I’m sure a number of captains would throw you into the brig without hesitation, I’m not really a believer in that sort of punishment. I don’t want another incident like yesterday. I don’t ever want to see footage of an officer of mine being assaulted like that by someone on their crew and I don’t want to have a crewman disobey my orders like Shinji did.”

She paused as she made her way back around to her seat and sat down, “I had to reprimand Shinji as well for his conduct. It wasn’t easy, like I said, he isn’t prepared for our way of life. Barely a week ago he was just a civilian and now he’s an enlisted officer aboard a starship. He feels alone, afraid and without a friend.”

Touji gave a nod, “I… had no idea.”

“Well… now you do. I don’t really think I did myself any favours by reprimanding him. So, this is what I want you to do. You’ve shown you regret your actions. Go and seek him out, apologize to him and maybe show him he isn’t alone. Show him what this crew actually is.”

\---

Gendo took his seat at the foot of the large conference table, stood behind him, as ever, was Fuyutsuki. With the destruction of the second ship sent by the Angels, the plans of the committee were now well and truly in motion, there was absolutely no turning back now for anyone. Gendo would have to be very careful with his words and actions going forward, it was one scenario pitted against another. If he was to win, then he could not afford any mistakes or failures.

There was no time to consult Fuyutsuki as suddenly, one by one, the holo-emitters positioned around each seat at the table sprang to life. Each member of this intergalactic committee appeared before Gendo. It was an interesting mix, a collective of representatives from a number of the galaxy’s major powers. Assembled in secret many years ago, even before some of these races ‘officially’ knew of one another. They operated in shadow pulling strings and positioning themselves to gain whatever advantages they could. Most major incidents of the last few decades had the committee’s hand in it.

It was all to achieve one thing, the awakening of an ancient power which would lead to the supposed salvation of all within the galaxy. Salvation by destruction. Rebirth via indiscriminate death. Only the chosen would ascend. This ancient power lay at the heart of the Angels homeworld, but of course to get there they would have to withstand the power of the Angels force; overcome those defences and that started with Gendo and NERV.

Gendo had the Eva’s that could stand up to the ships the Angels sent. Gendo knew the plans and machinations of the committee and Gendo had an aim of his own. To regain that which had been taken from him and take his revenge on the people that took it away from him.

_‘Yui…’_

The committee was now all assembled, to Gendo’s immediate left sat Gul Hakhet, a high-ranking official within the Cardassian Union. To Gendo’s right was Veris, a Vorta from the Dominion. The Vorta of course representing a Founder, who rarely, if ever appeared in these meetings. Represnting the Tal Shiar was General Ruha, and sat opposite them was Councillor Telvorn from the Klingon Empire. At the head of the table, sat opposite Gendo was the man responsible for bringing this unique alliance together, the founder of SEELE, Admiral Lorenz Kiel of the Federation.

The details of the committee’s formation were a mystery to Gendo, its history was rarely, if ever, discussed during these meetings. Gendo had made an attempt to uncover some of its origins where it might benefit him but was wary of digging too deep lest it put his own plans in jeopardy.

“Admiral, it has been quite some time.” Gendo opened up the conversation, folding his hands neatly in front of his face, in his trademark fashion.

“Indeed, it has, Ikari.” Kiel answered, “Now that contact with the has been made, I felt it was appropriate to call together the committee to assess the situation. We have been monitoring your progress so far and felt it prudent to discuss future steps as well as some concerns we had.”

“Concerns?” Gendo smirked from behind his folded hands, “Two of their ships appeared, and two of their ships have been destroyed by the Eva. That is exactly what we desired, is it not?”

“It is not the combat effectiveness of the Evangelion Units that we were calling into question.” Kiel answered, a sharpness in his voice that would, for most people sound intimidating. For Gendo is caused little more than amusement.

“Where do your concerns lie?” Gendo asked, “As far as I can see, all is going according to your plan.”

“It is, and I am keen to see it continue.” Kiel replied, “Yet, the reports I am reading of the pilots’ actions during combat with the second are causing me some concern. I appreciate he was a candidate but I do not believe him to be an ideal candidate, are you certain he is capable?”

Gendo continued to smirk, “I am more than certain that Shinji will be able to carry out what is required of him. Whilst it is true there have been some… issues regarding his discipline and willingness to pilot, that was to be expected. Rest assured there is no better candidate and we have already taken steps to ensure he adapts to this situation quickly.”

“See to it that you have Ikari.” Kiel bit back, “We can afford no mistakes at this crucial stage. Be aware that we will not hesitate to have the pilot replaced should we deem it necessary.”

Gendo could feel Fuyutsuki tense up behind him at Kiels words but Gendo remained unmoved. It was a threat, a hollow one at that. All was going to Gendo’s plan, and that plan called for Shinji to remain as the pilot and remain alive. The committee would not harm him.

“I understand.” Gendo nodded, “As I said, there is no cause for concern.”

“Good.” Kiel answered, “Now, our other concern regards one Ritsuko Akagi. Reports indicate that she has resumed her relationship with Captain Katsuragi.”

“I am aware and I have no concerns.” Gendo replied, “Steps have already been taken to ensure Akagi’s loyalty to us. She knows to not step out of line.”

“And if she does step out of line?”

“She is an expendable part of our plans, and her usefulness to me is diminishing as the days go on.” Gendo replied coldly, “She can be disposed of without issue.”

“And Katsuragi?”

“Again, I do not see any issues.” Gendo confirmed, “Given Katsuragi’s temperament and profile I see her as someone we can easily take advantage of. Akagi will be the second person she has lost to the Angels. It gives her a motive to aid us.”

“Very well.” Kiel nodded. The others in the room had remained silent up until now, watching Gendo and Kiels exchange with looks of amusement or disdain. Gendo knew he wasn’t well liked by the committee and cared very little, “We now move onto other matters. Councillor Telvorn, what is the status of Evangelion 02?”

“The craft is almost complete and almost ready for transport to NERV.” She reported gruffly, “The data from the first battle has been instrumental in fine tuning the ships systems. We will perform final tuning whilst the ship is in transit and we have the data from the second battle. With these tunings we estimate that the craft will be 25% more effective in combat than Evangelions 00 and 01, that is, with the right pilot of course.”

“On the subject of the pilot.” Kiel nodded, “Given the reports we have received, I believe it is best we continue with our original plans for the pilot of Evangelion 02.”

“The scientist’s daughter…” The Cardassian spoke, “Top of her classes at the illustrious Starfleet Academy, an excellent pilot but… short on temperament and discipline at times, is she really the wisest choice?”

“She has been moulded into a soldier from a young age.” The Tal Shiar woman replied, “Encouraged to succeed at any cost and highly ambitious. This would be an opportunity for her to prove herself above her peers. I believe she is an ideal candidate.”

“Another Federation officer…” The Vorta woman spoke, “I am… or should I say my Founder is concerned, are we not perhaps seeing too much Federation involvement in this project? Add to which, the issue has been raised regarding her discipline, would it not perhaps be better to utilize our Jem’Hadar for this task?”

“As has been raised before, the Jem’Hadar, whilst formidable would not be compatible with the Evangelion Units for obvious reasons.” Gendo reminded the Vorta.

“Then what about a representative from someone not within the Federation?” The Vorta answered back, “Is there not a suitable representative from the Klingons or the Cardassians?”

“You are all free to submit pilot candidates, as you all well know.” Gendo replied, “It does not matter to me who pilots the Evangelions but I would advise that time is of the essence, and given these plans were put in place years ago, perhaps it would not be prudent to alter them at this stage. Unless you have all forgotten why Ms Soryu was selected?”

There was a brief silence in the room as the four committee members exchanged glances, no one making the first move.

“I remember.” Telvorn replied, “I have no issue with Soryu as the pilot.

Ruha smirked, “I have no issue with Soryu either, her affiliation with the Federation is of no consequence.”

“Enough.” Kiel interjected, “Now is not the time for such petty squabbles. Our plans go beyond the groups we represent, in the future such things will be irrelevant. We shall continue with Soryu as the pilot.”

“We will make the appropriate preparations at NERV.” Gendo nodded, “Both in terms of having Soryu notified about being a candidate and for receiving Unit 02.”

“I will notify General G’bakh.” Telvorn said, “I am sure he will relish the opportunity to visit NERV once again. It seems your son left quite the impression on him.”

Kiel nodded, “We are at a crucial stage in our plans. You all have your part to play if we are to succeed. I need not remind you how important it is that we do not stray from the path laid out before us.

The was a collective murmuring of agreement from the committee, Gendo remained still, watching as each of the holograms vanished, waiting until it was only him and Fuyutsuki left in the darkened room. Gendo remained still and silent for a moment longer before rising from his seat and exiting the room, followed closely by Fuyutsuki.

“Something is worrying you, isn’t it, Professor?” Gendo asked as they rounded a corner.

“Of course.” Fuyutsuki confirmed, “The situation with Akagi… That was cold, even for you. You cannot seriously be considering…”

“As long as Akagi remains useful to us then no, I am not considering that.” Gendo replied, “But my definition of useful differs to theirs and besides we have already taken steps to ensure Akagi remains loyal.”

Fuyutsuki nodded, “I know… I know, not that that makes me feel any better about this.”

“It should.” Gendo said, “If Akagi remains loyal then the remains useful and if she remains useful then we do not have to take action, is that not what your conscience demands?”

“Perhaps, given all that I know… all that has been done and all that I am part of, I am not sure what my conscious demands anymore.” Fuyutsuki sighed, “Even our way of keeping Akagi loyal… it does not sit right with me.”

“We do what has to be done in order to achieve what we have to achieve professor.” Gendo mused, “When a sacrifice has to be made, then it will be made. As long as Akagi does as we ask then there will be no need to take action.”

\---

The forest was calm and peaceful, a path had been carved neatly throughout it, providing Shinji a means of traversing the vast greenery without fear of getting lost. It also provided him an opportunity to walk in solitude away from everything and maybe try to forget about all that had happened to him over the last few weeks.

Unfortunately, those events so far had been fruitless. Since leaving the NERV complex and setting out on his hour-long journey all he had do is go over everything again and again. Starting from that morning the Federation made contact with him, reading the letter his father had wrote summoning him to NERV, the journey to the Gamma quadrant, the first battle and most recently, Misato berating him in her office.

Such as it was, he wanted his old life back. He wanted to go back to his aunt and uncle; back to his job in the restaurant. He wanted to go back to being Shinji the nobody, Shinji the person who blended in and no one really had to deal with. He wanted to return to complete anonymity, to no longer be a person with any expectations or pressure. He didn’t know how much longer he could keep this up for. The thought of piloting again just filled him with terror, his stomach churned just thinking about climbing into that cockpit one more time.

_‘Why did I come here? For answers? To find out why my father abandoned me? Find out why he hates me? I haven’t even seen him since that time in the hospital. I haven’t been able to ask where he is. I’m never going to get answers. Not from him… I’m a coward. I… I shouldn’t be here.’_

Shinji continued walking along the path, the music from his SDAT providing him with some minor comfort. His SDAT was an oddity, a technological relic from a time long past. It’s tape-based technology having been long surpassed hundreds of years ago. Shinji rarely used it, only using it in times when he really needed a particular type of comfort. The SDAT was a family heirloom, an antique passed down from generation to generation in his mothers’ side. It was the only connection had had to her.

He always had a feeling he was fairly lucky to even have it. He had gotten it from his uncle a few years after his mother had died. It was the last remaining thing of his mothers, everything else had supposedly been destroyed by his father shortly after his mother had died. His uncle had kept hold of it for a few years until giving it to Shinji for his tenth birthday. They had managed to find a specialist in the area, a Federation officer with a love of old-fashioned technology who helped Shinji learn how to put new music on it and so Shinji had kept it and cherished it.

_‘I miss my aunt and uncle…’_

Shinji let out a sigh as the song came to an end. His SDAT powered down as the battery finally gave up and the forest path seemed to be coming to an end. Ahead of him was the familiar NERV courtyard. Misato’s words from yesterday ran through his head again. He had spent the last day thinking about it, trying to figure something out. Did he really want to be here? Could he really do this?

He stopped to take his earphones out, he was greeted with the ambient sounds of the planet. The chirping of the insects, the gentle sway of the breeze and the trickling of a nearby stream. He might actually enjoy being here, were it not for NERV. Yet, NERV was here and that meant those ships would attack again and it meant he would pilot again. It meant he would continue to have to wear this uniform that was clinging to him with the humidity of the planet.

He was thinking about that battle again. The decisions he made during it and the berating by Misato afterwards. He understood why she had berated him; it was the same as back as the restaurant. If he didn’t follow the instructions properly then there would be a risk. If he didn’t cook a piece of meat properly then he could make someone ill. If he didn’t follow the guidelines properly then he could hurt himself. He didn’t hate or blame Misato for what she had done, instead he just blamed and hated himself for making a mess of it all.

“Hey you! Ikari!” Came a call from behind him.

He froze with fear at the familiarity of the voice. Shinji turned around slowly to see a figure approaching him, it was Touji Suzahara, the Ensign from yesterday. The man did not look happy and almost immediately Shinji’s mind flashed back to yesterday and that moment he found out what had happened to Touji’s sister.

Touji came to a stop about a metre or so away from Shinji. Shinji wondered where this punch would land. Would it be the same place as last time or somewhere else? He braced himself, wondering if he should just take the blow or try to block or dodge it.

In a move that surprised Shinji, Touji suddenly bowed his head and extended a hand, “I wanted to say… I’m sorry about what I did yesterday.”

Shinji didn’t move, perhaps this was some kind of trick, he blinked as Touji raised his head, “Huh?”

“I was angry.” Touji shook his head, “I was angry and I needed an outlet, someone to blame and you being the pilot of that ship. It was easy to blame you but what happened to her… It wasn’t your fault. Also… I kinda owe you one for saving my life yesterday.”

Shinji was still frozen in a mixture of fear and confusion. Some of the confusion quickly cleared up when he recalled the moments of the battle.

“That was you… on that shuttle?” He asked.

Touji gave a nod, “Kensukes idea… he wanted to see you fight and… well you kicked that things ass, even if it did piss off the captain.”

“I… I’m sorry.” Shinji lowered his head.

“Don’t be.” Touji interjected, “I heard you Shinji. You were willing to risk yourself to save us and make sure no one got hurt. When I acted yesterday, I guess I… I didn’t know how tough things were for you, I didn’t know anything about you. You’re not one of us, are you?”

Shinji shook his head, “No, but… it doesn’t matter. I could have hurt you and then… your sister.”

“Is tougher than I give her credit for.” Touji cut him off, “Look, don’t be too hard on yourself Ikari. Ya messed up, it happens. You’re here though, we’re all here and we all got off lightly from the captain! Things worked out well.”

“I…” Shinji started to speak.

“Me and Kensuke are going to be getting together later today for a bit of fun on the holodeck, come along and we’ll talk some more.”

“I…”

“No getting out of it. When I apologize, I do it properly. It’s the honourable thing to do!” Touji continued, “Holodeck 2, 1900 hours! Got it?”

“O-Okay…” Shinji replied as Touji shot him a grin.”

“Good! I’ve got to go back on duty now. Commander Ibuki has me working maintenance in the lower decks. Seems our travels through the Gamma Quadrant picked up an infestation of some sort of space slug. Tell ya what, you think Katsuragi can be bad, wait till you see Ibuki when they’re pissed!”

“O-Oh… okay… Bye.” Shinji watched as Touji turned and walked back into the NERV building, as he did, he also saw Misato making her way into the courtyard. At first, she was being accompanied by an escort of two but she turned to them both to say something before making the rest of her journey towards Shinji on her own.

Shinji had little time to release any of the tension that had built up within him as Misato crossed the gap fairly quickly. He had been expecting to see her again at some point, so that she could get answers to her questions or possibly to tell him that his services were no longer required. He stood firm, straightening his uniform as best he could.

“C-Captain…” Shinji greeted her.

“Shinji… Do you have time to talk?” She asked.

Shinji gave a nod, “Yeah…”

“Good, walk with me then.” Misato gave him no chance to reply, she was already starting to walk along the forest path. Shinji quickly caught up to her without protest.

“I saw Suzahara on my way in.” Misato said, “I trust that he has apologized for his actions?”

“You… knew about that?” Shinji asked.

“I knew.” She answered, “NERV surveillance picked up the entire exchange and forwarded it on to me after the battle. Also, Ensign Soryu might be a fine pilot but a medic she is not. I’d give her job of patching you up a six out of ten as best.”

“I don’t think she’d like to hear that.” Shinji laughed, thinking about how Asuka had been when he had met her briefly. She didn’t seem like the sort to accept a six out of ten lightly.

“Well then, we’ll just have to keep it between us, won’t we?” Misato chuckled, “I’ve picked up an interesting crew, haven’t I? Soryui, Suzahara and his sister, you. Did you know we’ve also got one of the few Ferenghi serving in Starfleet on the ship too?”

“I didn’t…” Shinji answered, “Misat… Captain, about yesterday I…”

“You’re sorry?” Misato stopped walking and turned to look at him, “Save it, I don’t want an apology from you. If anything, I should be the one apologizing. I didn’t really stop to take the time to understand how this must be affecting you. I mean… I knew it would be tough but I put a lot on you, I expected you to just make the transition from Federation civilian to Starfleet office smoothly and quickly. It was… unfair.”

Shinji didn’t say anything in reply to that, he hadn’t expected Misato to apologize. Especially considering it had been him who had defied her orders and acted out of line.

“I don’t know if I can be… who you want me to be.” Shinji said.

“What do you think I want you to be?” Misato asked him.

“An officer, someone like Soryu who is proud to wear this uniform, who is good at what they do. Someone who can take those orders without question and not be afraid of being hurt or hurting someone else.” He answered.

“I don’t want you to be like that Shinji.” She let out a sigh, “I don’t want you to suddenly become an officer overnight. I don’t want you to fit into a template of an officer either, if Starfleet wanted officers like that then they may as well roll back the ban on synthetics. I want my crew to be able to think for themselves, to have differing abilities and interests, to know when to question something, when to act on something or when to exercise caution. I want them to be independent.”

“What about your orders? Aren’t they supposed to follow what you say?”

“Of course.” Misato answered them, “And it is complicated. I don’t want blind devotion because I… am going to make mistakes and I expect to be called on it when I do. I need them to know when to do the right thing.”

“So… was that I did yesterday the right thing?” Shinji asked.

“You were looking out for the safety of others. In a way, yes that was the right thing to do but… you failed to understand why I gave the orders I did. Perhaps that failing was on me, because you didn’t know about the planets defences or what the Tokyo could do. You had good intentions, but bad execution.”

“I’m not sure… I understand.” Shinji looked up at her, “How… can I know when to act?”

Misato shrugged, “Starfleet officers spend four years at the academy. They take a number of courses related to their field and undergo what must be hundreds of simulations to prepare themselves for active duty. At the end of it they undergo a simulation called the Kobayashi Maru, in it they are the captain of a ship answering a distress call sent out by a ship in the Romulan Neutral Zone.”

“Starfleet ships can’t enter the neutral zone, can they?” Shinji asked.

“Exactly… So, the cadet is faced with a choice, cross into the zone and violate a treaty, risking war with a deadly enemy or leave the ship to be destroyed.”

“What’s the right answer?”

Misato smiled, “There isn’t one. It’s a no-win scenario, it’s designed to see how cadets react in the face of overwhelming odds and teach them that maybe sometimes you can’t win, or… a victory might not be the sweet experience we think it is.”

“Has everyone in Starfleet done it?”

She nodded, “Every member of the crew, including myself has at some point.”

“What did you do?”

Misato continued to smirk, it was probably not a good idea to let Shinji in on her antics during the Kobayashi Maru, “That’s a secret. Going back to your question, how can you know when to act? The truth is… I don’t have an answer, it’s a mixture of experience, what we have learned and a heap of gut instinct. We can only do our best Shinji, me… you and every member of this crew.”

Shinji nodded.

“I’m going to be honest with you Shinji.” Misato continued, “I want you to stay, I saw your actions piloting that ship both times and you… have something. You have potential, to be a great officer, a great member of this crew.”

“I… don’t feel like I can.” Shinji protested, “I’m scared of piloting… of being hurt.”

“No one likes to be hurt and no one lives without a little bit of fear.” Misato answered, “Well… unless you look at Vulcans and Klingons but you get what I mean. Every member of that crew is afraid of something and they will be for a while, you saw their faces when we went to warp for the first time. They were terrified.”

“Even you?”

“Especially me!” She laughed.

“What were you scared of?”

“Messing up my orders. Putting in a course to the wrong place. Something malfunctioning because I overlooked something. Someone getting hurt.” She answered, “Imagine if my first words before we went to warp were ‘Engage it so’, swiftly followed by our navigation systems failing?”

“What about Soryru?”

 _‘Yes, especially Soryu’_ Misato thought to herself before answering Shinji. She was more than aware of Asuka’s history both before and during the academy. A brilliant yet haunted cadet. She knew Asuka had plenty of things to be afraid of, but that was not for Shinji to know.

“Yes, even Soryu.” She answered.

“You all have a choice though.” Shinji continued, “I don’t… If I don’t do it then… they’ll make that girl, Rei, do it.”

“I know and I’m sorry it has to be this way.” Misato replied, “If I could find an alternative then I would and believe me I’ve tried. I didn’t join Starfleet to put people in ships to fight. I didn’t accept the captaincy of this ship for that reason.”

“I know.” Shinji lowered his head.

Misato reached forward, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder, “I can’t promise things will be painless Shinji but I will do everything I can to support you. You are not alone here. You have us, you have a crew, a family.”


	7. Trouble At Antos-IV

**Klingon Ship**

General G’bakh stood before the small screen, waiting for it to spring to life and illuminate the darkened ready room. It was a sparse ready room compared to what he had known when he had captained vessels in the past. This was a new ship, it had not been worn in yet, it had not faced its first battle, there were no spoils of war to adorn its walls. There were no relics celebrating the glory of the Empire! There was nothing to inspire its crew! It was a blank slate, soulless, not a bat’leth, d’k tahg or gintak to be seen.

G’bakh had not thought to bring anything on board, his tenure as the commanding office of the IKS nuQanjaj was only supposed to be a temporary one. One quick venture into the Gamma Quadrant to observe the armada and then return to Qo’Nos to hand it off to another captain. He had not expected to have to captain the vessel a second time, nor did he expect to have to take the nuQanjaj back to NERV.

The order irritated him, escorting a ship. It was not a duty befitting an established warrior such as himself. Yet, he was if anything, a loyal servant to the empire.

The viewscreen finally sprang to life and a woman appeared onscreen. She was an elderly Vulcan wearing a Starfleet Uniform bearing the rank of Admiral. Her gaze met G’bakhs.

“Greetings General G’bakh.”

G’bakh was surprised to see the Admiral appear. Starfleet admirals were not normally in the habit of contacting Klingon vessels let alone contacting them on a secure and secretive subspace channel such as this one.

“Admiral.” G’bakh answered saying nothing more but wondering what could have prompted this sudden communication.

In his orders he had not been told to expect any contact with Starfleet regarding his mission. If anything, he had been told to avoid contact with anyone else as much as possible. The Empire wanted the Evangelion Class ship to be transferred to NERV as soon as possible. Still, anything regarding NERV and that Evangelion had a large amount of secrecy around it. Something he disliked, to G’bakh, a warrior did not operate in shadow like this, they moved in full view, proud to fight and proud to die.

“General, I appreciate that this might seem strange given the circumstances.” She spoke, “It has been brought to my attention that you are soon to undertake a mission to escort a ship to the Gamma quadrant, is this correct?”

“It is.” G’bakh answered, he saw no point in lying to the admiral. Their journey would take them through Federation space after all. “Tell me admiral, what interest does Starfleet have in my orders?”

“Considerable interest. The ship you will be escorting was developed in part by Starfleet.” The admiral answered, “We are just as invested in its safety as you are and we are of course both aware of its purpose.”

“If it is its safety you are concerned with, then allow me to reassure you, the nuQanjaj is more than capable of performing its mission.” G’bakh replied, “We do not need Starfleets assistance.”

“I have little doubts relating to the capabilities of your ship or its crew.” She answered, “You misunderstand me, neither I nor Starfleet has any intention of interfering with your mission. Instead, we would like to ask you for a favour.”

“A favour? Go ahead.”

“As you are aware, your journey to NERV will take you through Federation space and past Deep Space Nine.” She spoke, “We have an officer we want to send to NERV and rather than send them in a transport vessel, we felt it might be more beneficial to yourselves to transport them.”

“You want to place one of your officers on a Klingon ship?” G’balh laughed loudly, “No offence admiral, but are you sure your officers could handle being on one of our ships. A Klingon ship is a home for warriors, not for one of your diplomats.”

“Sending one of our own ships is not possible at this time. Since the loss of the armada our resources are unfortunately stretched thin.” She replied calmly, “With that said, I am sure that this particular diplomat will have no issues acclimatising themselves with your vessel and its crew.”

For a moment the image of the admiral faded and was replace with a static image showing a profile of another man. G’bakh grinned immediately on sight of the man, “The son of Mogh! Very interesting! Very well Starfleet, I will be more than happy to do as you ask. Let him know he is to prepare his bat’leth and that we shall sing songs of past glories!”

“One more thing General.” The Admiral reappeared and also seemed to completely ignore anything G’bakh had said, “This mission is of utmost importance and secrecy. Please refrain from broadcasting Ambassador Worfs presence on your vessel as best you can.” 

**USS Tokyo – Holodeck**

“Computer, end program!”

Shinji cringed in his seat at the sound of Asuka’s angry yell. He remained motionless until suddenly falling to the floor as the simulation dropped out around him. He dared not yelp out in pain as his backside collided with the solid ground as the redhead fumed behind him.

He had failed at her training simulation once again. This must have been the sixth or seventh time he had failed, he was beginning to lose count. Asuka definitely not happy at the failures racking up and if he was being honest, neither was he. He was more than willing to try and learn, but what Asuka wanted was just too much.

The simulations were far too advance for him to deal with. He was in a ship that he had no experience with, fighting against a number of ships he had no idea how to fight against. Asuka also did not seem willing to make things easier for him either. Her expectation was that he would repeat it until he eventually got it. She was nothing like Misato was.

“Why they picked you to be a pilot I don’t know!” She called out scathingly, “This is absolutely useless!”

He let out a sigh, “It’s too hard! Captain Katsuragi didn’t have me doing things like this!”

“Captain Katsuragi was going soft on you! That’s why!” She shot back angrily, “Scanning and shooting asteroids? That’s pathetic, a kid could do that! How can they expect you to fight when that’s all you’re doing? You’ll get nowhere doing that!”

“I’m not going to get anywhere being blown up by Romulans either!” He fired back, “Can’t we just… do something a little bit easier?”

“Like what?” She asked, “My job is to get you ready to fight! I watched that display from you last time and it was pathetic! You know, just because you the golden one, chosen by your daddy doesn’t mean I’ll be giving you any preferential treatment unlike everyone else around here!”

The comment was enough to get him to strand up, he turned to face her struggling to keep his own anger down, “It isn’t like that! You don’t… My father…”

She glared back at him, seemingly unfazed by his outburst, “What? Go on…”

“I didn’t come here by choice!” He snapped, “None of this is what you think!”

“Well tell me what it is?” She took a step towards him, “Tell me what this is, civilian.”

He narrowed his eyes at her, supressing the urge to just walk out of the holodeck and give up. He had made a decision to be here and make an attempt. If anything, to just repay Misato back for her kindness.

“It doesn’t matter.” He shook his head, “You wouldn’t understand.”

There was no point in arguing with her further, no point in talking to her. Whatever he said, she would just get angrier at him. His best option was to just endure it and hope he could improve enough for her to be satisfied.

“Some of us had to work to get where we are.” She added as he turned his back to her, “Some of us didn’t have to rely on preferential treatment.”

He ignored her, “Just run the simulation again.”

“So you’re read to actually follow my orders, are you?”

“Yes.” He nodded, as the holodeck changed to represent the starship. The bridge lights were already a deep red, sirens blared around him. He sensed Asuka smugly taking her seat in the captain’s chair behind him as he once again sat at his console.

“Very well.” She replied, “Prepare for battle.”

**Ready Room**

Maya Ibuki took their seat opposite the captain; they had in their hand a PADD displaying brief summaries of the departmental updates from around the ship. The Tokyo had been in operation for just over two months, it was the third ship that Maya had served on, and their first as First Officer. Most of their experience up until now had been on science vessels, time spent analysing and exploring new regions of space, researching new species and phenomena. Going on missions that would last months, if not years.

Similar things had been expected of their time on the Tokyo and that was why they had jumped at the assignment. It was not only an opportunity to advance their career but also a chance to be at the forefront of research and exploration. The Tokyo was one of the most advance ships in the fleet, it had been made for long range exploration.

Yet, the reality had been far away from the expectation. Certainly, they had travelled a great distance. Not many Starfleet officers could say they had come this far into the Gamma quadrant the reason had not been for research or exploration. Instead they had spent most of the time since arriving here stuck in orbit and performing mundane day to day maintenance.

If Maya had to use one word to sum up their experience, it would be ‘disappointing.’ There was a general sense that the rest of the crew was feeling the same way, as well as the captain. There were other whisperings amongst the crew too regarding their captain. It had not gone unnoticed that the captain was spending less time on the ship and more time at NERV, and it had not gone unnoticed that no one really knew why the Tokyo had remained here for so long.

“All departments reports indicate that the ship is running smoothly.” Misato sighed as she read from her own PADD, “Even had time to clean the Jefferies tubes on deck 14. How exciting… Remind me again Maya… what was this ship made for?”

“To explore strange new worlds? Seek out new life and new civilisations?” Maya answered with a smirk, “As the famous saying goes.”

“That’s what I thought.” Misato replied dryly, “Yet, here we sat, stuck in orbit in this godforsaken place and going absolutely nowhere. This can’t keep up.”

Maya was a little bit surprised at this burst of honesty from Katsuragi but they had to admit they felt the same way. It had even crossed their mind to request a transfer to another ship if this sort of thing was going to keep going on. This wasn’t what they wanted, they wanted to be doing something.

“Still… given the situation, these so-called Angels and the purpose of NERV. I suppose we do have a reason to be here.” Misato added, shaking her head.

That so-called importance had certainly not been lost on Maya or the crew. Everyone aboard had been briefed on the Angels and the threat they posted. Maya themselves had been briefed on the specifics of NERV and its history although they had the feeling there was a lot more too it than had been told.

Many had questioned the Tokyos role in this. It seemed NERV had the ability to fight the Angels so was it necessary that the ship remain there. Others wondered if this meant that the Federation was once again at war. There were questions of how long this would go on for and how dangerous it would be.

Along with the Angels, Shinji had been another big talking point amongst the crew. There were various opinions on him, some bitterness from a few officers who felt he was getting too much attention. Others who felt sorry for this civilian that had been thrown into the role.

Maya felt sorry for him. Shinji was an outsider here and Maya themselves knew what that could be like. Despite how advanced society might seem, growing up was not without its complexities. People still had their prejudices and issues that would appear from time to time and in their younger days, Maya had found themselves at the brunt of it. There had been a lot to work out in their life, issues that needed to be addressed and whilst most were accommodating of Maya, the few that weren’t did make things difficult.

Shinji’s issues were of course different to what Maya’s weren’t but they could still relate to that feeling of being on the outside.

These issues, both with Shinji and the crew’s feelings were something Maya wanted to raise with the captain.

“Permission to speak freely Captain?”

“Of course, Maya.” Misato nodded.

“A number of the crew are concerned.” Maya started, “Not just because of us being here at NERV and this sudden new threat but also…”

“Because of their captain?” Misato finished the sentence for her.

Maya nodded, “Yes.”

“And what do you think?”

“Being honest, I trust in you and what you are doing.” Maya started to answer, “Yet, I do understand their concerns. A captain should be present on the ship, leading from the front and you have been spending more and more time at NERV recently.”

“I understand.”

“Also… This situation with NERV, everyone accepts that these Angels are a threat but no one is really happy with how informed we are. We know next to nothing about them. We don’t know anything about their society. We weren’t able to do any research on their ships. Everything went to NERV and everything goes through NERV. People have questions and there are no answers. They dislike the secrecy.”

Misato took a moment to absorb Maya’s words before taking a deep breath, “And what do you think?”

“As first officer, it is my job to support you and advise as best I can.” Maya answered, “But I feel like I’ve been left in the dark as well. I’m not privy to what is happening at NERV nor do I know what to expect in the future. I’m acting as I would in normal circumstances but obviously there is nothing normal about this. I don’t feel like I can do my job as effectively in such a vacuum of information.”

“I see.” Misato slowly rose from her seat and took a few steps over to the window, looking out towards the planet. She let Maya’s words roll around for a moment. Her first instinct was to be defensive but that wouldn’t be fair. Everything that Maya had said had been accurate and had to be addressed, in some form.

Misato had been wrapped up so much with NERV, in rekindling her relationship with Ritsuko and trying to learn about her father that in a way she had forgotten to act as a captain. She had forgotten to take care of her crews needs. Suddenly those words to Shinji were coming back to haunt her. She was supposed to protect her crew, and yet she was not doing that.

“I apologize for my bluntness.” Maya added, “But… I do think these things need addressing.”

“No.” Misato smiled and shook her head, “Thank you for bringing this to my attention commander. You are right, I haven’t been acting as I should have done the past few weeks. My duty should be to this ship and crew, yet I have neglected that duty. I’ve kept you all in the dark and my focus has been away from what is important.”

“The crew want to serve you captain.” Maya replied, “They just don’t know what to do.”

Misato nodded, “Truth be told… neither do I. This situation is not one I expected and I’ve been trying to sort it out on my own, instead of relying on the people around me. I need to address this.”

Maya smiled back, “Good, I’m sure the crew will appreciate that.”

**Holodeck**

Shinji pulled the trigger and felt the recoil jolt through his arms. He lowered the rifle and heard the loud smash as the target was completely obliterated by the shot. He felt a strange sense of pride and satisfaction as the counter below the wall registered the hit. On the wall, behind where the target had once been were a number of scorch marks, evidence of his previous attempts.

“And he hits it!” Came a loud and excited exclamation from behind him, the voice of Touji Suzahara.

“Yeah, well done Shinji!” A second voice chipped in, this one belonging to Kensuke Aida, “Only just but a hit is a hit!”

Shinji shook his head as he turned around to see his two new friends sat on a bench nearby, “Sorry… I’m not very good at this, am I?”

Touji stood up and shrugged, “Don’t get good without practice. Not about being good anyway, just here to have fun and let off some steam.”

Kensuke nodded, “Yeah, you think we started off being able to use those things properly?”

“I guess…” Shinji answered, “It’s just… my training… I’m expected to be perfect at it.”

“Well this isn’t training.” Touji replied as he stepped forward. Around them the scene cleaned up, the scorched wall was replaced by a cleaner wall and several targets started to move in a linear fashion around the wall, “We’re just here to have some fun.”

“That said…” Kensuke chipped in, “It can’t hurt to have you be able to defend yourself. After all, you are one of us now.”

_‘One of us now.’_

Those words rang through Shinji’s head. Over the last week both Kensuke and Touji had certainly played their part in trying to make Shinji feel that this was the truth. They had invited him to hang out with them in the ship’s canteen, invited him for these holodeck sessions and played their part in trying to help him learn about the ship.

Their method in helping him had been a contrast to how Misato taught him and how Asuka was teaching him. It was not so much about regulations and rules. There was no formal structure, it wasn’t a ‘lesson’, it was an attempt to reach out and be friends. It was an attempt to be inclusive and really make Shinji feel less like an outsider and more like one of them.

_‘One of us now…’_

Shinji had made an effort too in order to integrate himself. He had picked up the duties he was capable of performing and carried them out without complaint. He had tried to learn and be useful and yet, he was still very much aware of the gulf between someone like him and the other officers aboard the Tokyo. He was still very much aware that he was not one of them, that people still viewed him as this outsider who was encroaching upon their space.

There had also been his dealings with Asuka. His constant failures to adapt to and carry out her training regime. A more logical approach would tell him that it wasn’t his fault, that it was too hard and Asuka was being unreasonable but logic rarely won in his mind. It was his fault, he wasn’t fast enough, he wasn’t smart enough and he wasn’t good enough. He was what she said he was, a civilian infringing on their space.

_‘One of us now…’_

“Asuka doesn’t seem to think so…” Shinji finally muttered. He wasn’t sure why he had suddenly brought her up. He had not told anyone about his issues with the training so far and had no intention of doing so.

“Things not going so well?” Touji casually replied as he took aim and blasted three of the targets in quick succession, “Forget about her, she’s just an ensign like we are! Doesn’t matter how ‘good’ she thinks she is! She’s still just one of us.”

Shinji had no answer as he just sat down and watched Touji expertly take out another three targets. He had to wonder what Asuka would say if she was here and was watching him try to take out the targets earlier. Would she be berating him for being useless here as well? He had heard from others what Asuka was capable of, she was one of the best in her year at the academy. She had passed her courses with flying colours and was certainly someone he could learn from.

His mind had been fairly occupied by the redhead over the last week or so. He wondered what Asuka was like when she was off duty. He wondered what she did in her free time and who her friends were.

“One on one lessons with Soryu…” Kensuke spoke, interrupting Shinji’s thought, “You’re lucky!”

“It doesn’t feel like it.” Shinji answered honestly, “Her lessons are… tough and she just yells at me whenever I mess something up. Which… at the moment is all the time.”

“I don’t understand though.” Touji turned around and handed the rifle to Kensuke who was beginning to take aim at a new set of targets, “We’ve seen you pilot that thing. You’re not bad at it!”

“Piloting the Evangelion is different… In that ship I can just get it to do what I want by… thinking.” Shinji explained, “A starship console is different and harder, plus she just keeps on running harder simulations. The captain had me start by scanning asteroids but Asuka is putting me in combat against Romulan Warbirds!”

Kensuke sighed, “Warbirds huh? That’d be difficult for anyone. Have you tried speaking to her?”

Shinji shrugged, “I said it was too hard and she just didn’t care. Pretty much said I just had to get on with it.”

“What about Captain Katsuragi? Can you not speak to her?”

Shinji shook his head, “If I do that then… it’ll only cause trouble. I’ve already caused enough trouble and I don’t want to cause more. No… I’ll just have to get better… Maybe I can try running something easier when I have spare time.”

**NERV**

Asuka stepped out into the courtyard and stifled a groan as she felt the wall of heat hit her immediately. It boggled her mind that Hikari seemed to like this place so much and kept on wanting to meet up here. It was too hot, too uncomfortable to move around in and the constant chirping of whatever insects lived in the forest beyond the courtyard made it too loud. The ships lounge might not have been as visually a nice location but at least they could eat lunch without their uniforms sticking to them.

She started to cross the courtyard to her and Hikari’s usual spot. Around her were other officers from the Tokyo that had decided to visit the planet in their free time or who were on assignment in the colony. If she was being honest, she couldn’t wait for this assignment to be over and done with. Being here was a waste of her time and of the Tokyo’s time. They should be out amongst the stars, showing what they were capable of, not babysitting some colonists.

Her mind turned to her own ‘babysitting’ duties as she continued to walk. That was a source of irritation at the moment. To say things weren’t going well would be an understatement, it was nothing short of a disaster. Shinji had failed to perform anywhere close to the standard she expected and by the looked of it was just going to make her look bad. To make matters worse, the captain had scheduled a time to observe one of the lessons herself.

If they carried on then Shinji was just going to fail it and by extension make Asuka fail and she couldn’t have that. Shinji needed to learn how to pilot and fight and Asuka was sure she could do it. She had come to the realization that maybe she was pushing him too much, but it was also a lesson to him that the soft touch that Katsuragi had was gone.

She got halfway across the courtyard before noticing the figure of the other pilot, Rei Ayanami, standing alone, staring ahead into the forest. Asuka had only met the Rei once and knew very little about her aside from the obvious. She was a former Borg drone who had come to live at this colony and was the first Evangelion pilot. Asuka knew that there had been some sort of accident prior to their arrival and that meant Rei had been out of action until recently.

Suddenly, Asuka began to have an idea. She was already working on training one pilot, so why not bring in the other. It was likely that having been here longer that Rei would probably be more experienced than Shinji at least so it probably wouldn’t be as difficult a task. It would definitely be advantageous to do so, after all being responsible for training one of these Evangelion pilots would look great for her career, two would be even better.

Smirking, Asuka diverted herself towards the former drone and called out, “Well, if it isn’t the other pilot! I see you’re no longer injured.”

Rei slowly turned around to meet Asuka’s eyes. There was no emotion in the woman’s expression, just a blank coldness. This lack of emotion was also evident when she spoke, “That is correct.”

“So, I expect you’ll be piloting again then?” Asuka asked her, keeping up the friendly façade.

“That is also correct.” Rei answered, “I am to undergo an activation test tomorrow with Evangelion 00.”

“Good!” Asuka exclaimed, “So, who is going to be training you?”

“Both Commander Ikari and Dr Akagi have devised a basic training regiment for me.” Rei answered.

“Do you have much piloting experience?”

“I am aware of the basics of starship operation, before the accident Dr. Akagi had me undergoing regular simulations of various types of starship to familiarise myself with their operation. I am also aware of a range of combat tactics from my time in the collective.”

“Well, just so you know. I’m currently training the other pilot… that civilian and I think it would be worth you joining us!” Asuka replied and then boasted, “I don’t know if you are aware but I was one of the best pilots at Starfleet Academy.”

Rei paused and gave no answer, a moment later she tilted her head curiously, “Why?”

The response was not one that Asuka was expecting and hit her like a truck. Her boastful grin faded. Did Rei not understand what Asuka was offering? This was an opportunity for Rei. Simulations from Akagi and the commander of this place might be useful but Asuka could offer the chance to be better!

“Well… It would be advantageous, wouldn’t it?” Asuka began to answer, “I mean, like I said, I clearly know what I’m doing and I’m already training the other pilot. If you two were training together then it’d help you both. Lets be honest, Akagi and the commander of this place probably can’t advise you like I can either, can they?”

Rei did not seem impressed by Asuka’s boasting or offer. Her expression did not change at all, “If I am ordered to, then I will.”

“Ordered to? What are you, some kind of do-“ Asuka trailed off remembering for a moment exactly what Rei was or at least what Rei used to be. She was a Borg drone, freed of the collective, but for how long? Asuka had to be careful and lenient with her. The attitude, whilst irritating was understandable. Dealing with ex-drones was never an easy thing.

“Soryu?” Rei prompted.

“Forget about it.” Asuka shook her head, “Just… consider it, okay? You know where I am.”

“I will… consider your offer then.” Rei answered, “It is time for me to go now. Farewell Soryu.”

**NERV**

Ritsuko let out a sigh of relieve when the image of Rei appeared on the viewscreen. She was completely safe and unharmed. She chanced a quick look around the bridge and saw that she was not the only one that was relieved. It was very obvious when it came to Fuyutsuki and the other officers who had been brought in to oversee the test but most telling of all was Gendo’s expression. He had been nervous going into this and for a moment seemed to let his guard down on the confirmation that things had gone okay.

_‘Of course, you were nervous… if we had lost Rei, then that’s everything out of the airlock, isn’t it?’_

It was certainly hard to blame people for being nervous going into this. After what had happened last time there was not only a fear that the same thing would happen but this time the consequences would be worse. Last time they had nearly lost the pilot and the ship, if it had happened again then the facility could have been lost.

It was a testament to Rei that things had not gone wrong this time. She had fought back after the last incident and came back stronger. Ritsuko was proud of her, even if she didn’t like it one bit. She knew why things had gone wrong the first time; she knew what Rei was fighting inside that Evangelion control room. It wasn’t like Shinji with his craft. What was inside Evangelion 00 was deadlier and harder to control.

“Ships systems are all online.” Announced an officer from ahead of Ritsuko, “Pilots vital signs are stable, and sync rate is holding at 42%”

“Very good.” Ritsuko answered, “How are you feeling Rei?”

“Everything is operating within normal parameters.” Rei answered, “I am able to interface with all systems as expected.”

 _‘I don’t care about the ship Rei!’_ Ritsuko thought to herself, ‘ _I want to know how you’re feeling, damnit!’_

“That is good.” Ritsuko accepted the answer without pressing the woman further. There would be an opportunity to speak to Rei properly after this and besides, she knew the condition of the ship was all Gendo or Fuyutsuki would care about beyond this point.

Still, Ritsuko harboured a lot of concern for Rei’s condition. The incident that led to this had caused Rei a lot of distress both physically and mentally. Rei was unlikely to speak up about the mental distress, but Ritsuko could see things had been and were bothering her. She was Rei’s ‘doctor’, she knew Rei better than anyone else and noticed everything. Ritsuko saw the spikes in blood pressure, the changes to the heart rate, the shifts in Rei’s demeanour and the expression on her face. It was all so very subtle and most outside of Ritsuko wouldn’t notice but she did. Ritsuko cared about Rei’s well-being, whether she was ordered to care or not.

“In which case I think we can call the test a success. I would like to schedule some further practical tests for the future.” Ritsuko spoke, “For now please hand over control to the bridge crew and exit the control room. I’ll debrief you shortly.”

_“Okay.”_

Rei’s image disappeared from the screen and she stood up from her seat and made her way to the rear of the bridge where Gendo and Fuyutsuki had been observing the test.

“Rei seems very much at ease; it looks like we should have no problems going forward.” Fuyutsuki said as Ritsuko approached, “We should be ready to deploy her, should the Angels send another ship.”

“I would still like to monitor her and schedule some additional test before thinking about deploying her in active combat.” Ritsuko answered.

“Is there any reason she can not be deployed?” Gendo asked.

“No.” Ritsuko replied, “But I think given the circumstances we should not rush things. Rei is-“

“Time is not a luxury we have Doctor, in the debriefing inform Rei that she is to report to Captain Katsuragi. She is already overseeing the training of the other pilot; it would make sense for her to handle Rei’s training as well.”

Ritsuko did not protest, if anything Misato looking after Rei would be best for all, “Of course Commander.”

Ritsuko looked ahead at the view screen, the ship was now beginning its slow descent back to NERV. In the distance she could just about make out the vast NERV pyramid and the lake next to it. Her stomach churned as they continued to approach, it was only thoughts of seeing Misato later that day that kept her calm.

“I will also require you to inform Katsuragi that Evangelion 02 is currently on route to NERV.” Gendo announced.

“I see.” Ritsuko feigned ignorance but her contact at Starfleet had already informed her that the third Evangelion class ship was on its way. It was to be accompanied by a Klingon escort of all things, “Do we have an estimate on its arrival?”

“Three weeks from now.” Gendo answered.

“And what about a pilot?”

“Unknown, Marduk is still debating but I believe a list of candidates have been drawn up”. Gendo answered.

“Of course.” Ritsuko nodded, she knew it was a lie. As with the arrival of the ship she had also been informed as to who the pilot would be. She couldn’t help but feel sorry for that young woman aboard the Tokyo right now. Soryu was a bright woman who could have had a bright future ahead of her. Instead she had been caught up in all of this. Asuka would be a brilliant pilot, but that fact brought Ritsuko no pride, there was no future in being an Evangelion pilot.

She hated this.

**USS Tokyo – Holodeck**

Asuka stood in the middle of the bridge facing the viewscreen, she had a confident smirk on her face mirroring the confidence she felt inside. This time she was certain that things were going to go to plan. She had selected a different ship, a Defiant class ship and adjusted the control panel to make things a bit easier for Shinji.

She had adjusted the simulation itself; it was still more advanced than what Captain Katsuragi had been making Shinji do but it should be achievable. She still believed that people were going far too easy on the crewman, but she also realized that what she had set was maybe too difficult. Also, him failing spectacularly in front of the captain wouldn’t exactly reflect well on her.

So gone were the Romulan Warbirds and gone was the Sovereign class ship. Instead the simulation had been made simpler. He would enter a sector as commanded to, scan ships for stolen resources, engage in combat to disable the ship. Get the resources back and exit the system. Even Shinji couldn’t fail this one.

It was _perfect._

Still standing she gave the order to the computer to begin, “Computer, run training program Soryu-Beta-02”

‘Beginning simulation Soryu-Beta-02’ The computer replied.

“Good luck Shinji.” Asuka overheard Captain Katsuragi speaking.

A moment later there was an alert, Shinji turned to face the pair of them, “We’re receiving a hail from Starfleet Command.”

Asuka gave a nod, “Put it on screen.”

Shinji tapped the console and the view of space was soon replaced by a shot of the interior of an office, a male Federation Admiral appeared on screen.

“Captain Soryu.”

Asuka smiled and nodded back at him, “Admiral, how can we help?”

“Captain, we have received word of a raid on a Federation outpost close to the Over-The-Rainbow’s current position, we suspect Orion Raiders. They have made off with valuable medical supplied and we believe they are hiding in the Antos System. As the closest Starfleet vessel, we would like you to investigate immediately and recover those supplies.”

“Of course.” Asuka answered, “We’ll lay in a course immediately.”

“Very good.” He answered, “Oh and this is little more than rumour but we have also been receiving some unusual reports of ships going missing in that system. I would advise caution.”

“Will do. Soryu out.”

The Admirals image disappeared and Asuka sat herself down in her seat frowning. The warning seemed strange, she could not remember programming anything relating to ships going missing, only pirates hiding in that system. Then again, she had not programmed anything not relating to that either, from previous experience she knew that unless you were incredibly explicit sometimes the computer liked to play fast and loose with instructions.

If anything, it made sense, the presence of pirates meant that ships would have been going missing. Probably hijacked and sold for scrapped. It fit the narrative she was going for.

“Well, you heard the man crewman. Lay in a course for the Antos system as maximum warp. We have some raiders to track down.”

“Yes.” Shinji answered confidently as he worked on laying in the course for the appropriate system. Asuka couldn’t help but noticed that he seemed to be working the console a little bit better than she had seen him do so previously. She wondered if maybe her training was getting through to him that he had to work harder.

Shinji finished laying in the course and set the ship to maximum warp. He had noticed that this simulation seemed vastly different to the ones Soryu had put him through in their other sessions. It was a different ship and there was no mention of Romulans as of yet. He was also feeling a little bit more confident in his actions, Touji and Kensuke had taken some time to work with him over the last couple of days.

As they travelled to their destination, he could her Misato chatting with Asuka.

“Orion Syndicate huh?” Misato said, “Old classic for these simulations.”

“I think keeping it simple is the best way.” Asuka replied, “Don’t want to push people too far, you know what I mean.”

Shinji had to resist the urge to shake his head at Asuka’s comment. All she had done up until this point was push him in ridiculous simulations, he had no chance of passing and now the captain was here, she wanted to make it easy.

There was no further opportunity for him to think about it as they arrived in the Antos system. He brought the ship to a full stop and awaited further orders from Asuka.

“We’ve arrived.” He informed them.

Asuka looked up at the viewscreen. They had arrived at the edge of the system, in orbit of Antos-VII. Something however, seemed wrong. Although Antos-VII wasn’t their main destination she had set things up so that there would be something to scan in orbit of each planet, there was even supposed to be a station in orbit and yet, there was absolutely nothing here. Had Shinji somehow screwed up where they were supposed to go?

_‘No… This is Antos-VII, the size and look of the planet is exactly as it should be. Probably some stupid glitch in the holodecks programming. God damnit, I only programmed this damn thing last night too!’_

“Soryu, is everything okay?” Katsuragi prompted her.

“Fine.” Asuka answered, “Crewman, preform a long-range scan.”

“Scanning.” Shinji answered, for a few moments the only noise was the sound of Shinji’s console working on the long-range scan.

More time passed and Asuka could feel herself beginning to grow impatient. Is this what it felt like to be the captain? Standing around and waiting whilst your subordinated carried out your orders. No, that probably wasn’t what it was like. The problem was Shinji, he was boring, he had no input on anything, he just carried out orders. The only spark she had seen from him was the other day and even then, he backed down almost immediately.

“Well?” She prompted.

The sound of the scanning finished and Shinji immediately relayed the results, “I’m picking up a single vessel, it appears to be in orbit of… Antos-IV.”

_‘One single vessel… That… doesn’t make sense.’_

“What sort of vessel?” She asked, the objective was at least present but the surrounding ships weren’t. It must have been some sort of holodeck glitch, she was even willing to admit that maybe she made a mistake, it was late when she made this thing. His answer should at least be what she expected, a single Orion Cruiser.

“I… don’t know.” Shinji replied, “Scans aren’t identifying it.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Asuka exclaimed as she made her way over to his console.

_‘It’s clear that this idiot just can’t read or process that data correctly! It should be obvious. Just making me look stupid in front of the captain!’_

She looked over his shoulder down at the console, “Look, it’s pretty obvious that it’s a…”

Asuka trailed off, her mouth half open in shock as the console was indeed reporting that there was a single vessel in orbit of the planet but it could not identify it. The scans shown absolutely nothing, it could not pick up what type of ship it was, if any systems were online, if there were any life signs, it couldn’t even detect the materials it was made out of.

She could feel a sense of panic rising as the realization was setting in. Something was very very wrong, this was not how she had set things up, at all.

“Ensign Soryu, is there a problem?” Asuka turned to see that Katsuragi had gotten up out of her chair and was occupying the centre of the bridge. There was a sternness in her voice that nearly froze Asuka to the spot. She was beginning to lose control of the situation and she had no idea what to do.

“N… No problem.” Asuka got a reply out before looking back towards the console, “It’s a… variation of this simulation. Dealing with an… unexpected situation. I thought it’d be good practice.”

The words came out of her mouth and she regretted them. Something had gone wrong here and it was beyond her control but she couldn’t just admit that. She had to keep control of the situation, she had to prove what she was capable of. To admit something had gone wrong would be admitting weakness.

_‘I’ve got this. It’s just a glitch and I can fix it. I just need to think and act like a captain! Come on Soryu.’_

“Okay then crewman.” Asuka took a step back from the console, “We have an unidentified ship behind that planet. What does that tell us?”

“I… I don’t know?” Shinji replied, a hint of embarrassment in his voice, “Sorry.”

“It tells us that whoever is here doesn’t want to be identified, they’re masking themselves to prevent detection.” Asuka answered, “We can’t rely on scans alone, we need to make visual confirmation.”

“So… I should go to them?”

“You catch on fast.” She answered, “Lay in a course for their position and keep an eye on sensors for any other ships entering the system.”

Asuka did not return to her seat, instead she kept her eyes glued to the viewscreen and watched as Shinji directed the vessel towards the new target. She had managed, somehow, to rescue this little exercise. That glitch was just that and, in a few moments, they would confirm it was a Cruiser, she’d have Shinji scan it again, they’d attempt to hail them, ask for the supplied ot be turned over and Shinji would win in combat. It’d be easy.

“I… I’m picking up movement from the vessel.” Shinji suddenly reported, “It seems to be on an intercept course for us.”

“Try hailing them.” Asuka ordered calmly, it was yet another deviation but it was one that made sense. The vessel was supposed to be hostile so could attack first.

“No response.” Shinji replied.

“Try again and bring us to yellow alert.” Asuka ordered, “Put the approaching vessel on screen too.”

The screen changed to show the area of space the vessel was coming from. At first, she couldn’t see anything but then it started to appear, a vessel edging closer and closer. Her stomach dropped as the shape of the vessel started to become clearer, this was no Orion Cruiser, nor was it the Romulan Warbirds she had been using in her other simulations.

This was something different, this was something more terrifying. It was a metallic grey sphere, hints of green smoke emanating from various parts of it. It was a vessel that would strike fear into most Starfleet officers’ hearts. Asuka would like to say she wasn’t scared but she was. Her heart was pounding in her chest, beads of sweat were forming on her forehead.

“A Borg Sphere!” Misato exclaimed, “What is the meaning of this?”

“I… I never… I… I didn’t…” Asuka spun around to face Misato. Her face had gone the whitest shade of pale, her eyes wide open with shock. Misato cast her gaze from the sphere to Asuka, the woman looked terrified and it was then that Misato truly realized what was going on.

_‘Ensign Soryu… with her history she wouldn’t do this. What the hell has happened here?’_

Misato rose from her own seat, “Computer end program.”

There was a pause, Misato waited for the program to end down but nothing happened. She gave the command a second time and once again nothing happened. She prepared to give the command a third time when suddenly the lights on the simulated bridge dipped, this was followed by a voice, the growling voice that many a Starfleet officer feared.

_“We are the Borg… lower your shields and surrender your ship. We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own. Resistance is futile.”_

“Red alert Shinji! Shields up!” Misato ordered, “Ensign Soryu…”

She looked at the woman who was still frozen in place by her fear. Asuka’s eyes were looking straight ahead at the sphere. She hadn’t moved a muscle.

_‘The Borg are terrifying enough for anyone… never mind her. I need to get this over with.’_

“Ensign Soryu.” Misato’s voice was calm and reassuring, “I need you to focus, remember that we are in a holodeck. What we are seeing right now is a simulation, it isn’t real. You are safe.”

“S…Safe…” Asuka muttered, “Safe…”

_‘Safe… Safe… Safe from the Borg… Safe from being… a doll.’_

_‘A doll…’_

Asuka shook her head as her mind kept saying the word back at her. She suddenly felt a hand come to rest on her shoulder, turning around she looked into the eyes of her captain, “Trust me Asuka… You are safe.”

Asuka nodded, “I…”

“Get the console next to Shinji, you’re the best pilot Starfleet Academy has to offer, aren’t you? Let’s put that to work.”

“I…” She nodded again.

“Good, then get the console.” Misato ordered, “Shinji, I want you to transfer the ships controls to that console. Asuka is going to be navigating and you’re going to working tactical. We have one objective, destroy the sphere and then end this damn program.”

Misato watched as Asuka took her seat and tapped her combadge, “Misato to Ibuki, we’re hitting a problem with Holodeck 2, the program has glitched out and we can’t exit. I need you to forcefully shut it down or get us off of here as soon as possible!”

 _“Ibuki here.”_ There was a pause, _“Captain, we’re unable to get a lock on you. I’m sending a security team to the holodeck now to get you out.”_

“Make it quick Ibuki.” Misato ordered, “Okay, Soryu, engage your favourite attack pattern. Shinji, our tactic here is no different to the Angel’s but you don’t need to worry about navigating. The only different is we need to rotate our phase frequencies to compensate for their ability to adapt. Quick lesson, the Defiant Class ships are built to take on the Borg so are built with the ability to alter phaser frequencies. Fire a few bursts and rotate, keep going this until we are through. Understood?”

“Y-Yes…”

“Okay, Soryu. Begin.”

The ship started to move as Asuka began to navigate it towards the Sphere. Misato could feel herself get tense, her own history with the Borg was minimal and that was how she wanted it to remain. They were a unique and terrifying enemy; she was thankful that this was a simulation.

There was more movement from their ship and then suddenly the Sphere emitted three green pulses. Asuka worked at her console trying to evade but it was too late, the projectiles were too fast. The bridge shook and Misato was knocked back into her seat as the first projectile slammed into the ship’s shields.

A second projectile connected with the ships, and the bridge shook again more violently this time. Ahead of Misato was a sudden spark and explosion as Shinji’s console went up. There was a loud cry of pain as he was thrown to the floor. Misato had barely any time to react before the third projectile slammed into the ship, this time more consoles sparked and Asuka cried out in pain as she continued trying to evade the attacks.

Suddenly, almost as quick as the attacks had started it was over. The Borg Sphere vanished from the screen, the thick smell of smoke and the damaged bridge disappeared and the three of them were left standing alone in an empty holodeck.

Misato moved forward to where Shinji lay, he had been knocked out by the explosion. She rolled him onto his back, his face was covered with blood, his hands were a burnt mess. Misato looked over at Asuka who was standing looking down at the two of them, her eyes still wide with fear.

“I… I…”

Asuka was trying to scramble for something to say to Katsuragi. She was trying to muster an explanation but there were no words coming to mind. She was almost certain Katsuragi was saying something to her, asking her a question, maybe asking if she was okay but she couldn’t make out the words. All she could do was feel a weight in her body as her eyes closed and she fell, unconscious to the ground.


	8. That One Day in Hakone

**Holodeck**

Asuka held the bat’leth firmly in both her hands, its blade pointed downwards. She peered further into the caverns. Ahead of her she could hear the echoes of creatures scurrying around and the muffled voices of the bandits that made this place their own. The caverns were dim, illuminated mostly by torches set in ancient looking sconces are irregular intervals along the cave walls. At the far end there was an eerie red glow given off by the river of lava that flowed through the area.

She stopped for a moment to wipe sweat from her forehead before moving forward in a crouched stance, being careful to make as little noise as was possible. She stuck as closely to the walls as possible, doing her best to avoid the patches of light given off by the torches. A sulphurous smell hung through the air; she felt as though hell itself awaited her the further she went in.

She approached the entrance to another cavern; it was a larger cavern with little rock formations scattered throughout. Asuka stopped and crouched behind a large rock, she listened keenly for any immediate signs of life, if there ever was a place for an ambush, this would surely be it. At first, all she could hear were those distant echoes but then just as she was about to move forward, she heard the footsteps.

Asuka paused, tightening her grip on her weapon. Those footsteps were not that of a humanoid, this was something else. She peered out from her location and located the source of the noise. It was a creature, dark green, insectoid, standing about five and a half feet. It moved on six pointed legs, the carapace was split into segments, the head a rounded fleshy bulk. Its eyes were black circles, resembling that of an Earthen fly. Its ‘arms’, if they could be called that, resembled that of a praying mantis.

She knew these creatures; they were both fast and extremely deadly. They had been tamed by the bandits occupying the deeper parts of the cave and so were used as defensive measures. To get past it Asuka knew she had to be careful and bide her time until the perfect moment to strike. The main problem would be getting caught by the arms, they were razor sharp.

Asuka inhaled, trying to quell the little bits of nervousness that had suddenly risen within her. She thought about the damage the creature could do, in normal circumstances a strike from one of those limbs could easily cut through a human body. These weren’t normal circumstances though; this was a holodeck simulation. She was safe.

_‘Safe like Shinji was?’_

She tried to ignore the question. What had happened with Shinji was an unfortunate accident, a glitch tied to that program. Asuka had ran this simulation many times. Nothing was going to go wrong.

_‘You said that about his simulation.’_

Her anger rose at her mind trying to force the issue. It was a different holodeck and a different program. She had triple checked the status before running it. Now was not the time to question it, now was the time for her to blow off steam.

Asuka watched the creature scuttle over to the other side of the cave and prepared herself. It looked like there were thirty or so metres between her and the creature. Now was her best chance, she could close the distance quickly, catch the creature off guard and finish it without any issue. She watched for just a moment longer and saw the creature had come to a complete stop, it was facing away from her. Now was her moment.

The weapon clutched in both hands she stood and started dashing forwards and crossing the distance between her and the creature as quickly as she could. She kept her eyes focused on the back of the back of the beast. She passed the bat’leth to her right hand, drawing it backwards and reading it to swing at the creature. About half way across the cavern she saw it begin to turn around, the creature had heard her but that didn’t matter, she had the upper hand.

Asuka swung the bat’leth towards the creature’s mid-section hoping for a quick and easy kill. Unfortunately, it was not to be, the creature lifted an arm to defend itself, steel smashed against the sharpened edge of the limb. A sound echoed throughout the cave and now the fight was on. Her plan A had failed, not totally unexpected and not the end of the world. Asuka had pounced first and still had the advantage.

She hopped backwards, raised the bat’leth up to defend herself as the other limb of the creature came crashing down. She dug her heels in and twisted the bat’leth to block another swipe. She let out growl as she pushed forwards with the bat’leth and took another step back to create some space between herself and the monster.

This time she passed the bat’leth to her left hand and aimed another swipe, this time towards one of the creature’s legs. It blocked her, she passed the weapon to her right and aimed another swipe and was again blocked. An arm came down to her right side, she spun out of its way and tried to counter only to be blocked once more.

The creature quickly darted towards her, both limbs swinging down towards her. Asuka quickly grabbed the bat’leth in both hands and blocked. The limbs smashed against the steel, Asuka dug her heels in again feeling the creature attempting to force its way through her defence. She gritted her teeth as she pushed back against the creature.

It was surprisingly strong, more so than she expected but she just had to maintain this. Eventually she’d get through its defences.

Suddenly the left limb stopped forcing its way down, it raised itself and smashed into the bat’leth with frightening speed. Asuka stood firm as painful vibrations shot through her arm. The creature repeated this motion again and again. Each one was blocked but each one causing a ripple of pain throughout Asuka’s arm.

_‘I can’t keep this up. I need to finish this!’_

The limb came down again and this time Asuka spun to the left, the limb came down fully hitting the ground. She screamed out as she felt a burning on her shoulder. Glancing quickly at it she saw a rip in her clothing and a cut where the limb of the creature had just managed to catch her.

There was no time for her to dwell on the pain, she passed the bat’leth to her right hand and swung at the creature just as it too was recovering from hitting the floor. This was the opening she needed, now she had it on the back foot, or in this creature’s case, feet.

She swung the blade horizontally, directly at the creature’s midsection. The sharpened edges of the bat’leth clashed with the softer parts of the beast’s carapace. A green liquid began to seep out of where the weapon had made its mark. Asuka kept going, hacking away at it a second and third time, doing her best to sever the top half of the creature from the bottom half. She let out a feral scream of rage as her fourth strike finished the job, the creature let out a howl of pain as the top half flailed and then fell helplessly to the ground, its green blood pooling around it and adding to the existing sulphurous smell in the caves.

Panting heavily Asuka knew there was no time for her to relax, she had to press on and get to her destination. Complacency meant only danger here. She took hold of the bat’leth once more and got ready to move past the dead monster into the next open space when she was cut off by an alert telling her someone was trying to get into the holodeck.

_‘Goddamnit, my holodeck time can’t be up already!’_

“Enter” She shouted with some annoyance in her voice, she turned around glaring at the space on the cave wall that had faded away, revealing the door to the ship’s corridor. Her glare and annoyance quickly faded when she saw it was not a regular officer, but Captain Katsuragi stepping through. Almost immediately she snapped to attention.

“Captain!”

“At ease ensign.” Misato smiled, “I’m sorry to interrupt your holodeck time like this but I thought we should talk.”

**NERV**

Fuyutsuki looked through the glass window which sat above the vast NERV hangar. From here he could see the two Evangelion class ships, a space had been made for the third Evangelion class ship which was on its way from the Klingon empire. As would often happen, he fixed his gaze on Evangelion 01.

A chill went down his spine as he looked the ship over, to most here it was just a powerful ship that would defend them against a serious threat. Many didn’t know the history of its creation and nor would they. Many wouldn’t know why it was created and what it was truly capable of and nor would they. They didn’t know the dark work that went into ensuring that the ship was operational nor did they know just why Shinji Ikari was the ideal pilot for it.

_‘Yui…’_

“You are thinking about her, aren’t you professor?”

Fuyutsuki had been so lost in his thoughts he had not heard the door open nor sensed the presence of Gendo Ikari who had taken up a position next to him. Fuyutsuki nodded gravely, “It is hard not to, when I see that ship, I think about what happened on that day. The loss of such a student and what we have done with her work… it is hard to take.”

“What we have done is necessary, unless of course you prefer the alternative.” Gendo reminded him coldly.

“I am aware of that Ikari.” His gaze shifted from 01 to 00, “Yet it brings me no comfort, each one of these damn ships… is tinged with tragedy.”

“The past is the past, if it helps then think of what happened as a necessary sacrifice to get to where we are now.” Gendo replied, “Dwelling on it serves no purpose. We know our path, and it would be best we do not allow sentiment to get in the way of it.”

“Of course.” Fuyutsuki shook his head, “So what did the committee say, I trust they wanted to talk about the accident involving your son.”

“Amongst other things.” Gendo nodded, “They want us to commence with Operation Eden.”

“They are actually going with Eden… I suppose it is better than sitting around and waiting to be attacked.” Fuyutsuki mused, “Still, it is a risk. We will be leading a large fleet; it would be easy to overwhelm.”

“They are confident that the three Evangelion class ships should be more than capable of defending us. Worst case scenario we do of course have other options, but I find myself agreeing with the committee, the three Evangelion units should suffice.”

“If you insist.” Fuyutsuki nodded, “Have you heard from the Tokyo?”

“I have.” Gendo answered, “They inform me the pilot is healthy and is capable of being deployed should we need him.”

_‘The pilot? That is your son Ikari!’_

“Do they know what happened yet?”

“They are investigating it at present but I doubt they will find anything, nor do I think such a thing will happen again. I feel this was a little display of power from the committee, they want to demonstrate their reach and show us that they are willing to take action should we not comply.”

“Bit of a risk isn’t it, eliminating a pilot?”

“There are always backup pilots.” Gendo answered, “Worst case we can have Rei take control of Unit 01, she should be more than capable.”

**Holodeck**

Misato stepped through the door into the holodeck and took a quick look around the scene. It was not entirely what she had expected. She was certainly expecting some sort of combat simulation but more of a ship to ship variety, not a darkened cave filled with whatever that creature happened to be lying on the floor.

She cast her gaze at the creature’s body, cut cleanly in half during the fight and then took a look at her ensign. Asuka certainly looked nothing like a typical Starfleet officer right now. She was sweating, out of breath by whatever fight had taken place. Her clothing was tattered, torn in various places and there was a mark on her arm where the creature must have gotten her. Asuka looked more like a warrior than an ensign.

“I have to say, I’m surprised Soryu. An expert pilot and seemingly skilled with a bat’leth. Where did you learn?”

Asuka smirked, “Holodeck programs at the academy. I found the regular self-defence classes a bit boring so wanted to try something different.”

“Well… Klingon self-defence is certainly different.” Misato stepped closer towards Asuka, trying her best to ignore the putrid stench coming off of creature. What do you say we… speak somewhere a bit more appropriate?”

“Sure.” Asuka nodded, “Computer load program Soryu-Germany 003.”

As soon as Asuka finished speaking the command the environment around them started to change. The cave walls faded away and were replaced with the walls of a small café overlooking a quiet European street. The rocks that had littered the cavern floor were replaced by booths and tables and chairs, the heat of the cave was replaced by a cool breeze from ceiling fans and air conditioning units. Finally, much to Misato’s delight the pungent smell was replaced by that of freshly baked goods and newly brewed coffee.

It wasn’t long before the two of them found an empty table and sat themselves down. Asuka’s clothes had changed to something more befitting the time, yet her bat’leth remained.

“That… wasn’t a holodeck prop?”

Asuka laughed and shook her head, “No, it’s mine. I got it from a Klingon I met back on Earth.”

“I… don’t think I’ll ask for any further details.” Misato shook her head, “Look, I’ll try to not take up too much of your time with this. First of all, I just wanted to ask how you were feeling after what happened.”

“I’m fine.” Asuka answered bluntly, “Will be even better when the idiot that did that is found!”

“You and me both.” Misato replied, “Are you sure you are okay though… after what happened I…”

“I’m fine.” Asuka cut her off, “Don’t worry about me. I got checked out by the doctor and no injuries.”

“You know I’m not talking about injuries Asuka.” Misato answered wondering how far she should press Asuka on the matter. The redhead was already averting her eyes, staring intensely into the contents of her cup. There was an awkward silence between the two of them, the only sounds were that of ambient chatter and clinking cups as drinks were being made.

This was a conversation Misato didn’t really want to have but she knew the subject would have to be approached eventually. Picking Asuka to be on her crew came with certain responsibilities. It was true that Asuka was an amazing pilot, a model officer and had a huge amount of potential but it was also true that Asuka had a history.

“Ensign…”

“You know… don’t you? All about my past I mean.” Asuka muttered, “Of course you know… They always know…”

There was anger in her voice. Misato wasn’t surprised, she was no stranger to this sort of thing herself, the only difference was that Misato couldn’t remember what had happened to her. Asuka however, could remember everything.

“Yes… I know.”

“So, what… You’re going to ask me to see the ships councillor?” Asuka asked, “Or… you’re going to tell me I’m not cut out for this, because of how I reacted to seeing that ship? That’s what they tried to tell me at my school and at the academy. ‘With your history you might want to pursue something else, the Borg are out there.’ Like I didn’t already know that! Like I’m not aware that those bastards are out there!”

Misato said nothing, thinking it best to sit and listen for the moment.

“I proved them, wrong didn’t I? Not only was I cut out for their academy but I excelled in everything I did and I’m going to do the same here too.”

“I don’t doubt your ability Asuka.” Misato finally said, “If I had doubts about your ability then I wouldn’t have selected you for this crew. I knew all about your history when I picked you, I know what happened to you and what they did. No one should ever have had to go through… or see what you did.”

“So, I’ve been told, but I did go through it and as you can see, I’m fine. It’s in the past, what happened the other day was a blip, I was distracted by everything else going wrong so I let my guard down. It won’t happen again.”

“If you insist.” Misato nodded, “Let’s move on then, we’ve started the investigation into what happened. It’s early but there are definite traces of that someone other than you altered that program. Whoever it was, is still a mystery for the moment but I have the security team looking over it. They will probably be in contact with you soon to ask a few questions but whilst we’re here… do you remember anything?”

“Nothing. I went into the holodeck at around 1800 hours, I worked on the program and tested it until around 2100 hours, when I left there was no one around.”

“We didn’t run that program until 1500 hours the next day, that means whoever it was had almost a full day. That may as well be an eternity.” Misato sighed.

“How is he by the way?” Asuka suddenly asked, “The pilot… Shinji?”

Misato smiled, “He’s… doing okay. His injuries have been dealt with. he’s resting in his quarters. He’s a bit shaken by what happened but he’ll recover.”

“Good.” Asuka nodded, “When can I expect him to report for more training then?”

 _‘More training’_ Misato thought to herself. This was a subject for another time, Shinji was undoubtedly still feeling the effects of what had happened yesterday but there were other concerns Misato had beyond Shinji. She didn’t want to mention it to Asuka yet but she had seen the programs Asuka was putting Shinji through.

To say she wasn’t best pleased would be an understatement. She had given Asuka specific instructions to teach and train Shinji to pilot. To take him from the very basics to near graduation level but what she had seen would never achieve that. What she had seen would be tough for any graduate, never mind a beginner.

Still, now was not the time to bring up such things. Asuka was recovering from what had happened herself, to barrage her questions about this seemed unfair. Still, there were a few things Misato wanted answered that maybe she could pry out of Asuka now.

“I’m not sure. I would expect it to be soon but I don’t want to rush things.” Misato answered cautiously, “Tell me ensign, we haven’t really spoke about his training since I put you in charge of it, in your honest opinion how would you say things are going?”

 _‘Terrible, he is an absolute liability’_ Is what Asuka wanted to say about Shinji but she knew such a thing wouldn’t fly in front of the captain. They had all, including the captain, picked Shinji as a favourite.

“Being honest, I think they’re going okay.” Asuka nodded back at Misato. It wasn’t a complete lie. Shinji had been able to at least pilot the ship in the simulations, just not carry out the tasks given to him.

“So, he hasn’t faced any difficulty with the simulations you’ve set up for him?” Misato asked.

“Only what you would expect from someone of his ability.” Asuka lied. She couldn’t very well tell the captain that Shinji hadn’t passed a single one of them.

She looked across and could see Misato was frowning. Asuka felt a chill run down her spine, did the captain know about the failures? Had Shinji told her about the simulations? Had the captain seen them herself?

“I hope you know Asuka… and I’m expecting good things from you.” Misato spoke, carefully and deliberately, “Putting his training in the hands of an ensign, a cadet is a big risk on my part but I did it because I know how good you are and how good you can be. I’ve read your reports from the academy, I’ve read and heard what people think of you.”

“They’re just words…” Asuka muttered.

“Then prove that to me.” Misato replied as she sipped the rest of her coffee and rose from her seat, “You know what you have to do.”

“I do.” Asuka nodded as the captain called for the exit and left the holodeck leaving her sat alone clutching her half empty mug. She was alone again with her thoughts, only this time they were accompanied by a new unfamiliar feeling.

_‘Guilt.’_

**Captains Quarters**

Misato felt a dull pain in her shoulders as she approached the door to her quarters, in just a few moments, after twelve gruelling hours she could finally rest. She could get into her quarters, take off this damn uniform, have a long bath and sleep. Until tomorrow of course where she would likely have to do it all again.

Her tiredness was, in a way, her own fault. She had made the mistake once more of getting too involved and not delegating. She had heard, but not believed, that this would be a problem when she first accepted her captaincy. As a first officer she was used to relaying orders but also carrying them out, striking a firm balance between the two, it was the carrying out the work she was finding difficult letting go of.

There was a reason for it, the investigation into the sabotage on the holodeck was not something she wanted to sit idly by and wait for reports on. She wanted to be involved, she wanted to be part of that investigation, to explore the nooks and crannies of the ship, review the footage and interview the suspects. Yet, as her first officer keenly reminded her, that was not her place.

Not that it was going to stop her.

She tapped the button next to the door and began to step through into her quarters, yawning loudly. It took her a moment to realize things weren’t quite how she had left them when she had woken up and also the presence of the other woman in the room. She took a moment to look around and survey the scene. Ahead of her in the little seating area, placed neatly on the table were two plates of food, a traditional Japanese Katsu curry if her nose was not mistaken.

Either side of the table were two lit candles, and in the middle was an ice bucket, a bottle of wine protruding out of it. Stood behind the table was a smiling Ritsuko, wearing a dark blue full-length dress. Misatos jaw dropped as she caught sight of her lover and the scene on display, but a smile soon came to her lips.

Ritsuko could see the look of surprise on her lover’s eyes as she entered the room. It was the effect she had been hoping for. She knew that the display might have seemed a little bit cheesy, a little bit cliché but that was fine. Why did people always have to try and reinvent the wheel when it came to romance? Sometimes the old methods are the best methods.

Misato stepped through, letting the door close behind her. She took another look at it all before starting to feel slightly embarrassed. There was Ritsuko in front of her, looking absolutely beautiful and who had gone to all this effort for her and here she was, stood in a shabby and sweaty Starfleet uniform after twelve hours of work. Ritsuko was like gold-pressed latinum, Misato was like unprocessed ore.

“Ritsuko?”

“Welcome home.” Ritsuko gave her a little smirk as Misato wandered into the room, still stunned.

“What… is all of this?”

“It’s for us.” Ritsuko answered, “I thought that after everything that’s happened to us the last few weeks, we deserved a night to ourselves. A date… like we used to go on back at the academy.”

“A date…” Misato felt blush coming to her cheeks.

“I… I’m still in my uniform though! You should have told me! I’d have…”

“Wouldn’t have been much of a surprised if I’d have warned you about it.” Ritsuko replied, “Besides… I don’t intend on keeping you in that uniform all night.”

“Rits…” Misato stepped forward, her blush deepening. She was lost for words, an effect Ritsuko tended to have on her, even back in their academy days. Neither of them said anything as Misato stepped into Ritsukos embrace, taking a moment to look into her partners eyes before kissing her firmly on the lips.

In that instant everything else faded away. She was no longer Captain Misato Katsuragi of the starship Tokyo. This was not Doctor Ritsuko Akagi of the Federation or Section 31. They were just Misato and Ritsuko, two women who loved and needed one another.

Misato finally broke the kiss before looking once again at the plates of food, “Did you make all of this?”

“If by make, you mean, did I use your replicator, then… yes. I did.” Ritsuko admitted with a smirk as she took her seat, “I like to think it’s the thought that counts.”

“Either way… thank you.” Misato also sat herself down, “This food, the curry it reminds me of…”

“Our first date?” Ritsuko completed the sentence for her.

“Yes. You remember it, it was so long ago?”

“I remember, you wanted to make a big impression on me. We had been roommates for some time and you had just asked me out.”

“You turned me down at first, said you didn’t want romance interfering with your studies.” Misato grinned, “What made you change your mind?”

“Honestly? My mother… I told her another student had asked me out and I turned her down, she said it was the right thing to do, focusing on my studies was what was important. Romance was secondary, hell even tertiary to her.” Ritsuko answered, “So I thought, I’m not going to be like that. It was… my own quiet act of rebellion.”

“So, you did it to spite her…”

“In a way but also… I did it because I liked you.” Ritsuko nodded, “You were… a breath of fresh air in my life. You were so unlike anyone I had knew up until that point. You were… wild and adventurous, the opposite of me. All I knew was academia, nothing really about life but you were the antithesis of that.”

“Rits…”

“I was never very good with people.” Ritsuko added, “I didn’t have… friends going up. I can blame my mother for steering me on that path but it was myself too, I bought into that and maintained that attitude. In truth I was shy and scared of people but you… you changed that. At first, I thought I was going to hate being your roommate, you were loud and obnoxious, you didn’t seem to care much about study and yet you were a great cadet.”

Misato grinned, “Well… I had a lot of help.”

Ritsuko nodded, “You did but over time I didn’t hate you I… I learned to love you and… I’ve never stopped.”

“Rits…” Misato felt the blush returning to her cheeks, “You know that… I never stopped loving you either. When I ended things… in our final year I was just… scared. We were going to be posted to our first assignments, things were going to be…”

“Tough for us? Frustrating? Impossible?” Ritsuko answered, “I know… I understood at the time.”

“I didn’t want to deal with my first assignment and the prospect of being away from you. I didn’t want to even try… I ran away, just like my father did.”

“I don’t blame you.” Ritsuko moved to calm Misato, “In a way when you ended it, I was relieved. I was frightened too.”

“I’m so lucky I found you again.”

“So am I.” Ritsuko answered.

 _‘Except luck had nothing to do with it.’_ She thought to herself. Misato wasn’t here by luck, she was here by design, a design put in place years ago by people such as their parents. Them being in a relationship was just an unexpected and ultimately meaningless outcome.

“Our first date…” Misato chuckled, “You can remember it?”

“Of course, you being you wanted to make a statement so instead of taking me to somewhere nice and local you decided to secure us a shuttle and take me to Hakone. You wanted to take me to your favourite place growing up. Except you being you forget about one small thing!”

“I don’t know what you mean, it was a lovely time!”

“That one small thing being the time difference between San Francisco and Japan.”

“We all make mistakes.” She shrugged, “Besides we had a great day in Hakone, didn’t we?”

Ritsuko sighed, “Yes, we did… even if we did both get chewed out by our instructors for skipping an entire days’ worth of classes!”

“Totally worth it!”

“Yes, it was.” Ritsuko continued to smile as she leaned forward and picked the bottle of wine out of the bucket. She quickly opened it and nodded at Misato, “Wine?”

“You really did think of everything!”

“I know beer is usually your drink of choice, but that didn’t really seem appropriate for a romantic dinner by candlelight.”

“Beer goes with anything.”

“If you say so.” Ritsuko poured an amount of the wine into Misato’s glass, “Chateau Picard… 2087 apparently.”

“Picard huh… So that’s what he’s doing now, making wine.” Misato frowned, “Starfleet legend turned winemaker, what a career change. It’s a shame about what happened to him, the situation with the Romulans and the synthetics. Damn shame.”

“I’m not sure his story is completely done yet.” Ritsuko sipped her wine, “People like him… they never truly go away.”

“So is his wine supposed to be any good?”

“Good enough for NERV to stock.” Ritsuko replied.

“Commander Ikari a fan of his wines?”

“More Fuyutsuki, I don’t think the commander cares for wine. He seems to eat and drink only because people need to. His work… NERV and the Evas come first.”

“So, it seems.” Misato frowned.

Ritsuko shifted uncomfortably in her seat hoping that Misato wouldn’t steer the conversation any further in this direction. Thinking about the Eva, about NERV and especially Gendo Ikari was not how she wanted to spend this night and yet, she should have expected it. Misato could be single minded and once latched on to something, that was it.

It was that fact that frightened her because there were still so many things Misato didn’t know. So many things Misato hadn’t been told and she couldn’t tell her. She knew that when Misato did find out then this relationship was over for a second and final time. She knew that Misato would hate her when she found out the truth. It was only a few months… maybe even weeks ago.

_‘Unless I tell her now… unless I confess what the hell is going on but I can’t… If I do and she acts then he... I lose him.’_

“Sorry… I shouldn’t be talking about work related things.” Misato tried to steer the conversation away from that subject, “You’ve gone to a big effort for us and I’m ruining it by talking about work.”

Ritsuko shook her head, “It’s fine… After what happened to you yesterday, I don’t blame you. Is Shinji okay?”

“He’s fine, he’ll recover physically but I’m worried about the toll it’s taking on him mentally.” Misato admitted, “It’s the same for Asuka, I spoke to her earlier and she said she was okay after what happened but… I’m not so sure I believe her. Yet, if she won’t reach out for help then I can’t force her, can I?”

“Stubborn… headstrong, she reminds me of someone.” Ritsuko grinned.

“I knew you were going to say that.”

“Am I wrong?”

“As always… no.” Misato let out a sigh, “She could be an amazing officer one day. She’s intelligent, strong willed, has what it takes to rise through the ranks.”

“But?”

“But… her stubbornness, her ego and fact that by all accounts she is just plain unpleasant to be around is working against her. I had hoped that by putting her in charge of Shinji’s training it might soften her a little bit but… I fear I’m wrong.”

“How so?”

“I haven’t brought it up with her yet but… when we were investigating the holodeck, I went through the training programs she had ran for him. They were impossible for most cadets never mind him so I decided to speak to his friends.” Misato continued, “They told me that Shinji had brought up her attitude towards him. Belittling and berating him… not really the attitude we want.”

“I see.”

“Being honest, I think Soryu see’s this as an opportunity for her to gain promotion and look good. She isn’t thinking about him or the crew, it’s all about her.” Misato nodded, “That’s not my only concern, carrying that trauma the way she does… her attitude about it… I can’t force her to get help. I can send her to the ships councillor but she has to want that.”

Ritsuko merely nodded and once again the guilt was creeping back in regarding her situation. Asuka was to be the pilot of the next Evangelion class vessel, a fact Misato did not know and wasn’t to know until closer to the time and yet Ritsuko was here hiding it from her.

_‘When 02 arrives, things are only going to get harder… Operation Eden… it’ll bring them nothing but more pain and all I can do is sit by and let it happen.’_

Ritsuko was about to answer when suddenly Misato’s combadge sounded an alert. Misato let out a sigh and tapped the badge, “Katsuragi here.”

_‘Captain, we’ve had a communication from NERV. Dr. Akagi’s presence is being requested immediately.’_

Misato shot Ritsuko a look, Ritsuko merely shook her head, “I’m off duty, can it not wait?”

_‘Afraid not doctor, NERV command said its urgent.’_

Ritsuko sighed, “So much for the romantic meal. I’m… sorry about this.”

“Don’t be.” Misato smiled, “We know the risks when we wear the uniform, or in your case… the dress.”

“I’ll try to be as quick as I can.”

“Good.” Misato nodded as Ritsuko got up and made her way towards the door, “And Doctor Akagi.”

“Yes.”

“When you return… I expect you to be wearing that dress.”

“Of course, Captain.” Ritsuko flashed her a grin as she left the room. The door closed behind her and Misato let out a sigh as she looked at the two empty plates and half full glasses of wine in front of her.

“Well… at least I have the wine.” She said to herself as she picked up the glass.

“Care for a little company?”

It took a moment for Misato to register the voice but her eyes widened in fear and surprise when she heard it. She set the glass down on the table, got up out of her seat and pulled out her phaser, turning towards the door and the source of the noise.

At first, she could see no one, but then there was a brilliant flash of light and then stood where previously there was nothing was a man with a devilish smirk on his face. Misato held the phaser firmly as she cast her gaze of him. He looked human, around forty or so years up, short black hair and he was wearing a Starfleet uniform, the pips indicating that he, like her was a captain.

Her finger hovered over the trigger of the phaser as she readied her question, but already knowing and slightly fearful of what the answer was. She knew who and what this man was, it was a moment captains had been warned about and yet she asked anyway, “Who the hell are you?”


	9. A Helping Hand

Misato stood perfectly still, her eyes focused keenly on the man and her finger just over the trigger of the phaser, ready to fire at a moments notice, “I’ll ask you once again, who are you and what the hell are you doing in my quarters?”

“Oh, do put that silly thing down.” The man rolled his eyes in response to her threat, “Humans! Always reaching for their weapons first and never stopping to actually think. Come on Katsuragi, stop for a moment and think! Use that brain of yours, I know you have one. You tell me who I am.”

She was tempted to fire there and then, not in the mood for games. Yet, at this point she felt it would be pointless. The mans words had all but cemented who this was in her mind. There was only one person, one name, one letter that fit the criteria, “Q.”

“Tis I! Q, in the flesh!” He responded cheerily, “And congratulations to you my dear Katsuragi because you get an honour that very few Starfleet captains have had, the honour of a visit from me!”

Misato wasn’t totally sure that she would think of this as an honour, Q’s reputation preceded him. Starfleet put in place warnings regarding Q, both the being that was stood before her and the race he belonged to, the Q Continuum. She was well aware of him and some of his antics in the past. She could only wonder what he was doing here right now, after all, it had been some time since there had been a sighting of Q.

She lowered the phaser but didn’t let her eyes drift away from Q, “Why are you here?”

“No greeting? Just ‘Why are you here?’ I swear you Starfleet types can be so impolite; it just breaks my heart. Sometimes, I don’t even know why I bother checking over you.”

“Forgive my impoliteness.” Misato replied through gritted teeth, “But you haven’t really left the best impression on Starfleet in your previous ‘visits’”

“That was all in the past! It was all… misunderstandings!” Q answered, “Me and Picard… what is it you humans say, all water under the bridge now! Me and Janeway? Good friends, ask her! She’s the godmother to my son! As for Sisko…” Q gave a shrug, “Okay I’ll admit, that one never quite got off the ground but the fact is my dear Katsuragi, exaggerations have been made and I’m more than a little bit hurt by your suspicions!”

Misato rolled her eyes on hearing his words, she had little desire to deal with Q right now or get caught up in any of his games, “Fine, welcome to the USS Tokyo, now… what do you want?”

“Want? Me? What could I want? What does the Q who has everything… want?” he flashed her a grin as he took a few steps towards her, Misato responded by raising the phaser again and cautiously backing away, “No, I was in merely in the area… communicating with some of the local space fauna! Oh, you have to try it sometime Captain! It’s fascinating, who’d have thought a simple space mushroom could hold such deep views, it’s much more engaging than talking to a Klingon.”

“What do you want?” Misato asked him again, her patience already starting to wear thin with his antics.

“Oh, do be patient!” Q threw his hands up into the air, “Where is your sense of drama and excitement? Fine, I was in the area and I saw your ship, I thought ‘That’s strange, the Federation don’t generally come out this far, what with the whole scary Dominion thing. That’s when it hit me, the USS Tokyo, NERV, SEELE, it all just… came to me. The past, the present and…”

He paused for a moment and the impish smile was gone, replaced with a much more serious and sinister expression, “And the future.”

“The future?” She raised a curious eyebrow and felt the hairs on her neck stand up. Whilst before she was merely irritated by his ways, now she was beginning to feel fear. Q was a menace, an irritant to those that had encountered him but he was also dangerous.

“Yes.” He nodded, “The future, you can feel it can’t you?” Oh, I’ve always said that humans have a knack for intuition. Other races… Betazoids and Vulcans, they have their moments, their empathy and telepathy but there is something about human intuition that goes beyond that. Picard… now he had it, Janeway had it to and I know… I know you have it, don’t you?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You realize it, don’t you? Just how big this thing you’re stumbled into really is. You can see it, your friend… that Doctor… Akagi was it? When she told you what she did you felt it, this is beyond the Federation, beyond the Dominion and beyond… oh, it’s even beyond… the Borg.”

A chill ran up her spine on hearing those words. She had been made well away of the threat to the galaxy but to hear another being, a being such as Q speak them gave them an immense weight.

“You have some of the puzzle pieces already but you’re a long way off from completing it… and that my dear Katsuragi, is where I step in.”

“No offence Q, but I’m not sure I want or need your help.” Misato fired back.

“Oh, how I love hearing those words. That human arrogance really is there throughout all of your pitiful species. Picard said those words once, declined my help, said the Federation was ready for all that was thrown at it. Do you know what I did?”

Misato nodded, “I’m aware.”

“I threw his little ship across the galaxy, right into the path of the Borg. He begged for my help.”

“So, what, are you doing to do the same to us? We’re aware that there are things bigger and stronger than us out there, Q.” She answered, “But the point stands, I don’t want your help.”

“You think you have a choice but like I said… this is beyond your puny little Federation and beyond anything in this galaxy but don’t worry… I don’t intend to harm your ship, I don’t intend to harm your crew just… give you a nudge in the right direction, after all I am… shall we say, restricted in what I can and can’t do.”

“I thought you were a god!” Misato bit back with a smirk, “Who restricts a god?”

“The Q were not the first race to ascent like this, no will they be the last. Everyone eventually answers to someone.”

Once again Misato felt that chill run down her spine as she took the moment to think about his words. The idea of the Q was terrifying enough but the thought that there might be something out there that was more powerful than they were frightened her even more. Such things were hard to comprehend, she was aware of other species and entities out there with immense power or strange abilities, the mysterious Traveller, the space faring entity known as Nagilum, the Guardian of Forever and Gary Mitchell to name but a few. None of those compared to the Q though.

“I would advise not thinking about it too much.” He spoke again, “Instead let us focus on your current mission and your current problem. A mission of utmost importance, after all, the fate of the galaxy rests on your shoulders my dear Katsuragi.”

“So, I’ve been told.” She replied, “Get to the point.”

“The point is this, I want you… no, as much as it pains me to admit it, I need, the Continuum needs you to succeed.” He glared at her, “Balance in this galaxy is important and if this happens as it might do then that balance is disrupted, all the order that has taken billions of years to build up and maintain, thrown into chaos… in an instant.”

“Then fix it!”

“Haven’t I already mentioned we are restricted? The rules prevent us, so instead we have to rely on you and your three ships, those… Evangelions as they’re called.”

“Three?” Misato shook her head in confusion, “Don’t you mean two?”

“Has Akagi not told you yet?” He sighed, “Guess I ruined that surprise! Pretend I didn’t say anything.”

Misato knew there would be no point arguing with him or pushing further but did set aside a mental note to speak to Ritsuko when she could about this. She instead kept her eyes on Q, “Go on.”

“Like I said, we have to rely on you and your crew, a crew which is woefully unprepared and your pilots which, and I think you could admit this, need some work. So, this is where I come in. Consider this a test and a nudge in the right direction. Farewell, my dear Katsuragi.”

With those words and before Misato could say or ask anything else, Q snapped his fingers and vanished in a flash of light. Stood where he had been a second ago was now a very confused and angry looking Ritsuko. Ritsuko looked around the quarters before locking eyes on Misato, “What the hell just happened? A moment ago, I was stuck in a turbolift and now…”

Misatos eyes narrowed, “I just had a visit… from Q.”

\---

Shinji let out a sigh as he took the bowl out of the replicator and transferring it to the counter, moments like this made him long to be back on Earth. He kept on having these moments, realizing how much he took for granted with his life on Earth, beating himself up for just allowing himself to drift through that life. Now his thoughts were with his aunt and uncle, they always had a policy to try to avoid using replicators in their home wherever they could, because of this Shinji had been brought up learning how to cook.

According to his aunt and uncle, and the others that had sampled his cooking he even had a talent for it. He didn’t quite see it that way. He cooked because he had been taught to, because he had been told to. Whether or not he was good at it, and he was sure he wasn’t, didn’t come into it. Whether or not he enjoyed it, had not come into it. He did it because he was told to, and no one had ever told him to stop.

Yet, being on the ship for the amount of time he had been had taught him that he missed that home cooking and he now understood what his aunt and uncle meant when they spoke about how replicator food just wasn’t the same. It was good enough, it was all cooked but it did lack that ‘human’ touch that his uncle or the head chef at his restaurant spoke about. It lacked the fresh taste of the ingredients, it lacked the little additions people might throw in, those little bits of variation that add to it. It was all uniform, it was devoid of any soul.

When he had heard his uncle or the head chef talk about those things, he didn’t quite understand it but now he got it. Food wasn’t as enjoyable, yet it was supposed to be enjoyed. It was yet another thing he had beaten himself up over, he had not taken the time to actually enjoy those things. He wondered if he could make the stuff himself, it seemed like the ship had a store and facilities for fresh ingredients but he also didn’t want to bother people.

He picked up the spoon, stopping for a moment to look at his hands. Doctor Suzahara had done a good job of patching him up. He no longer felt any pain and any traces of the injuries were long gone. It was a contrast to the other little bits of scarring on his hands, all injuries gained from work in the restaurant, little cuts and crazed here and there. All treated in a more ‘traditional’ way, he had always been told that one day it might be useful to understand more traditional forms of first aid.

He let out another sigh, thinking about Earth and the people he left behind was once again making him question whether or not he could continue doing this, whether or not he could continue to do this. When he piloted the Eva it always brought him pain, it was not just the pain of the battle but just being connected with the ship, it was exhausting and uncomfortable. Now he was having to worry about things going wrong during training exercises.

He had overheard the captain speaking to the doctor when he was being treated. They had mentioned a saboteur. Shinji wasn’t completely naïve; he might have been ignorant of the ways of Starfleet but he knew what this meant. Someone was after him, someone wanted to hurt him for some reason. He could only assume it was related to his father’s work and NERV but wasn’t he supposed to be saving people? Why would anyone want to sabotage that?

Before that accident, the time he wasn’t piloting was a little bit of solace, brief moments in time where he didn’t have to be afraid. Now he was afraid. Afraid that the next time he went for a training session with Asuka it’d happen again. Shinji didn’t want to be hurt and he didn’t want to die. He might have felt useless or like he doesn’t belong but he wanted to live.

He took a sip of the soup, trying to move past those thoughts and maybe savage some joy tonight. It was not to be, the soup was, just as he expected it to be, fine. It was ‘fine’, it would do, it was adequate. If he had produced this in the restaurant the head chef might have said it lacked any soul, it was the product of following instructions meticulously.

Yet, it would do, and so he sat in silence sipping his soup and now letting his thoughts drift towards Ensign Soryu. When he first met her, he didn’t quite now what to make of the Ensign. She had saved him from a beating and fixed his injuries. She had come across as abrasive but at that moment it might have been expected. As time had gone on, his opinion of her had changed, he had hoped that maybe he would get along with her but it didn’t seem like she wanted to.

Instead, as time had gone on, she had proven to be a harsh teacher. She had seemed more interested in berating Shinji for what he couldn’t, and had no hope of being able to do than actually teaching him. The initial first impression had faded, there had been a part of him that had looked forward to learning under her but now he dreaded those moments. He knew lessons with her would just end with being berated and proving to him more and more that he was incapable.

Asuka seemed to be a lot of things that he wasn’t. She knew what she was doing, she was confident and carried herself well. She was gorgeous, he fiery red hair sure to make an impact and he was mundane, plain looking and fit to just blend in. She seemed fearless and like nothing could bother her.

Yet, he had caught a glimpse of her face before his console had exploded. He saw the look pasted across it, saw the fear in her eyes and heard the stammering in her voice. She had been completely frozen with fear, it was no act.

“You’re afraid as well, aren’t you? You’re just like the rest of us.” He muttered to himself, shaking his head as he continued to sip his soup. He sat in silence finishing it off, his thoughts continuing to move between his belonging on this ship, with this crew, the dread he felt at the idea of piloting again and him missing his old life back on Earth.

He got down to the very last bits of the soup when sudden the alert to his door sounded. He let out another sigh, it was most likely going to be the captain, coming to tell him about the investigation. He knew it was important but if he was being honest, all he wanted tonight was to be left alone. He wanted to try to forget all about it if he could.

Shinji did contemplate ignoring it but he knew there would be no point. It’s not like he could pretend he was out; all it took was one question to the ships computer and they’d know he was in his quarters. Besides, his conscious would never let him get away with a lie.

“Enter.” He called out, just as the alert sounded again. Much to Shinji’s surprise is was not Captain Katsuragi who stepped through the door, but Rei Ayanami. He quickly got to his feet, clumsily hitting his knee off of the counter. He supressed the urge to yell out as he watched the woman walk into the room.

“A-Ayanami.” He exclaimed.

She did not answer, instead coming further into the room and stopping on the opposite side of the counter. She looked very different to how she had done the last couple of times he had seen her. The last time had been shortly before the second battle, she had come to fetch him and tell him that an Angel had appeared. She had still been in bandages back then; she had still been injured and looked frail.

Not she did not look like that, it would seem that she had fully recovered and she cut a very different figure as she stood before him in her NERV uniform. A mixture of the residual Borg technology on her face and hands and the cold expression making her look somewhat intimidating. In her right hand she was clutching a PADD.

He realized that this was probably the first opportunity he had had to talk to her. The first time he had met her had been in that meeting room, his father got her nurses to bring her into the room in an attempt to make Shinji pilot that damn ship. The second time was just after he had fought that battle, he had seen both her and his father in the hospital. The third time was when she had come to collect him, to tell him of the Angel attack.

“Crewman Ikari.” Her voice was soft, almost monotone but with a slight edge to them. It was a stark contrast to Asuka.

“Ayanami!” He nodded back at her, “W-What are you doing here?”

“I have been asked by Sub Commander Fuyutsuki to bring you the following.” She placed the PADD down on the counter, “It is a new holodeck training regimen to aid you in piloting your Evangelion.”

“Oh…” Shinji answered. He couldn’t hide the disappointment in his voice on hearing what was on the PADD. There had been a part of him that hoped it was maybe some sort of communication from his father but he should have known better, the man had hardly spoken a word to him since he had arrived. Why would he break that habit now?

“It would be advised that you read over the information on there and then familiarise yourself with the ship in non-combat situations.” Rei added, “There are a number of basic combat training scenarios for after you have done that.”

“Will it… actually be like my Evangelion?” Shinji asked, “Just… Ensign Soryu and the Captain have had me training in Starfleet vessels.”

“Yes, the simulation has been designed to accurately recreate your Evangelion as close as it can.”

“Ah.” Shinji nodded again, “T-Thanks. I… I’m sure it’ll be useful.”

“Very well, goodbye Ikari.”

Shinji nodded, and watched as the woman turned around to leave. She was close to the door when he suddenly called out, “Hey Ayanami… Rei… you… you know my father… right?”

She stopped and turned around, eying him with a curious stare, “You are correct.”

“What… is he like?”

Rei raised an eyebrow, taking some time to answer Shinji’s question. He could only wonder what her answer would be, was she going to say he was kind? Going to say he was nice to her? Finally, she answered although not any answer Shinji was hoping for, “Why are you asking?”

Shinji shook his head, “I just… wanted to know I suppose. I guess… I don’t really know him myself.”

“I see.”

There was only an awkward silence that followed. Finally, Rei spoke again, “Is that all?”

Shinji started to nod but then spoke up, “Y-You’re a pilot too, right?”

“That is correct, I am the pilot of Evangelion 00.”

“How long have you… been a pilot? I mean, you’ve been here a while right, have you always been a pilot?”

“It has been five years since I became a pilot.” She answered.

“Why did you become a pilot?” Shinji asked her.

“Because I was asked to by your father.” She replied, “And because I have a connection to the Evangelion.”

“A connection?” Shinji asked, not really sure what she meant.

“Yes, the Evangelion is like me, like I once was, before he came. I have a bond to it, as you do to yours.”

“Before he came… you mean… my father?”

“That is correct.” Rei answered, “He saved me from my old life and brought me here.”

“My father… I… can’t believe he could rescue someone.”

“Why do you find that hard to believe?”

“What do you mean?” Shinji frowned, “Because he… abandoned me when my mother died! Because he hasn’t been in contact with me for all those years! Because he has barely said a word to me since I arrived here other than to make me pilot that thing! Because he was ready to send you out to die if I didn’t pilot! That’s why I can’t believe it! How could someone like that rescue anyone, never mind someone from the Borg!”

“You do not understand him.” Rei answered and for a brief moment Shinji thought he could detect a trace of anger in her voice.

“How could I understand someone like that?”

Rei did not answer at first, instead glaring straight into his eyes, “We are done here crewman, I have done what was asked of me. I would advise informing Katsuragi and Soryu of your new training regimen before attempting anything yourself. Goodbye Ikari.

Before he could answer her, she quickly turned around and stepped out of his quarters leaving him along once again with only an empty bowl and a sense of guilt.

_‘Did I… upset her?’_

There was barely any time for him to dwell on what had just happened as barely a minute after Rei had left the room another alert sounded indicating an incoming message.

_“Crewman Ikari, this is Lieutenant Commander Quinn. You have been asked to report to Shuttlebay 2 for an urgent assignment.”_

\---

“Q?!” Ritsuko asked, unable to hide the shock in her voice. Her head was spinning with all that had happened over the last fifteen minutes. The expression of shock quickly turned to frown, the mention of Q went some way to making sense of that had just happened to her, being stuck in a broken down turbolift and then suddenly transported here, it made some sense. She asked Misato, just to be sure, “As in… that Q?”

Misato nodded her head, “Yes, that Q! It seems he… has taken an interest in us and what is happening here. He said that he wanted to help.”

Misato did not sound thrilled with the idea and Ritsuko could understand why. Every encounter with a Q so far, that Q in particular, had always been a trying time for the affected parties. This time was unlikely to be any different. Yet, there was a part of Ritsuko that wanted to laugh about it. The appearance of Q and his declaration that he had taken an interest here was sure to throw a spanner into the works of Gendo and SEELEs machinations. They liked order, they liked sticking to schedules and planning things meticulously, Q was the antithesis of that.

She only didn’t laugh because she knew that whatever Q had planned was going to affect Misato and her ship. It was likely going to affect her as well. Professionalism was winning out over her dislike for Ikari. She quickly made an effort to compose herself, pushing down the confusion and forcing away any other stray thoughts.

“The Federation hasn’t had an encounter with a Q in years. At least not a recorded one since Janeway’s encounters in the Delta quadrant.” Ritsuko finally answered.

“Well, don’t I feel special.” Misato bit back sarcastically, “This is serious, we have enough going on at the moment without some omnipotent irritant being added to the mix.”

Ritsuko nodded and folded her arms, “I agree. You said he wants to help; did he say how?”

Misato shook her head, “No.”

“Well, what did he say?”

“He talked about what we’re dealing with now. The Evangelions, NERV and spoke about how this is much bigger than I imagine it to be. Said it was beyond the Federation, the Dominion and even the Borg. Implied the fate of the galaxy is at stake here.”

Ritsuko nodded, “So far he is only reaffirming what we already know.”

“He talked about how the Continuum needed us to succeed.” Misato let out a sigh, “Of course I asked him why if they need us to succeed then why couldn’t his Continuum just do something about it. He said there are ‘rules’ restricting them from acting but he wanted to give us a ‘nudge’.”

“Do you think we should believe him?”

Ritsuko asked her question both slightly knowing and fearing the answer. What Q had said was true, this was beyond any race in the galaxy. NERV… SEELE had awoken something many years ago, an ancient something with the potential to reshape things in this galaxy. They had started a game between themselves and the race that they called the ‘Angels.’

_‘If we lose… everything gets wiped out but if we win… if SEELE win then… everything changes.’_

“I don’t know what to believe.” Misato shrugged, “We know he is right that if we don’t beat the Angels then we can lose everything. What he said about our pilots not being ready… I can’t disagree with him. So far Shinji’s training hasn’t gone as I expected and if I’m being honest, we got lucky in the two fights so far.”

“So, you think he is right, we need a nudge?”

“Don’t make me admit that.” Misato fired back, “We need a nudge, but I want it to be on our terms. If there is a problem its to us to fix it not him. I’ve read about what his idea of help will be, whenever he shows up then trouble follows.”

“True.” Ritsuko nodded again, “Q is a known trickster for lack of better terms but let’s assume he does genuinely want to help. Let’s assume that whatever this is can affect the Continuum, maybe his ‘trail’ won’t be too dangerous.”

Misato sighed again, “Something that can affect the Continuum, do you know how ridiculous that sounds? What the hell is really going on here, I’m aware of how dangerous it is but… what the hell did NERV uncover?”

Ritsuko remained quiet, not wanting to betray what she already knew to Misato. She knew that she couldn’t betray any of it to her, no more than she already had. That urge to laugh was sinking even further and a new feeling of fear was rising. Q had certainly thrown a spanner into the works but this meant Gendo or SEELE were going to act upon it.

“Ritsuko… We need to figure this out.” Misato spoke again, “You told me Section 31 put you here as their eyes and ears. They wanted you in place as NERVs chief scientist, and I know my father is connected to it all. I’m not naïve enough to think everything happening here is in the best interests of the Federation. Please… is there anything else I need to know?”

_‘You have no idea… You really have no idea just what it was your father unleashed on this galaxy. No idea of what SEELE is trying to do, what Gendo is trying to do. You have no idea what Rei is. Q… Q is right, this really is bigger than everything.’_

Ritsuko shook her head, “I’ve told you everything I can.”

_‘I wish I could tell you! I wish I could tell you everything. I can’t even tell you about that third goddamn ship coming, not until Gendo says I can.’_

Her chest felt like it was going to burst from telling the lie. She looked for a reaction from Misato, maybe to see if her lover was going to challenge her statement. For a moment it seemed like there was a flash of disappointment on Misato’s face but it quickly faded, instead Misato just nodded, “Very well then.”

_‘God damnit Gendo, if it wasn’t for what you had then I wouldn’t let you get away with this. You bastard.’_

“We need to do something.” Misato added, “Tomorrow, me, you, Maya and the other senior staff need to go over everything we know so far. Study it and try to figure out where to go from there. I’ll tell them about Q’s visit and we’ll start looking into NERV. You are free tomorrow?”

Ritsuko nodded, “I should be, I have a brief catch up with Rei but that should not take long.”

“Good. I’m tired of being in the dark, of being told things and not acting on it. This time, I want to be prepared.”

“Good idea.” Ritsuko nodded.

“For now though…” Misato let out another sigh as she looked back down at the table, two full glasses of wine sat there alongside the empty plates, “I guess your night didn’t quite go as you planned, did it?”

Ritsuko gave a shrug, any thoughts of romance had been firmly pushed out of her mind, “It’s one of those things I suppose. At least we still have the wine.”

\---

Asuka felt the warm water of the shower pour over her, she stood motionless for a moment, her head down, letting the warmth spread over her, trying to ease some of the tension that had built up over the last few days. She hated to admit it but that earlier conversation with the captain had bothered her and was still going so. It was making her question herself, a feeling that she hated.

Back in the academy it was so easy for her to shrug off comments from other people. If it was another student, she could easily just put it down to jealousy, if it was one of her instructors then she could respond to them looking down on her or challenging her by getting a good test score or showing just how good she was. People would be put in their place and she could more on, but this was different.

Captain Katsuragi wasn’t just going to leave her alone or leave her to do things. There were no reports for her to sign and there were no tests for her to excel at. Advancing here, on an actual starship, was going to be much more difficult.

_‘Damnit Asuka, you knew all of this when you came aboard the ship! You knew how things would work here, you were warned enough times and you just keep on blowing it. No one likes you here apart from Hikari and you just fucked up in front of the captain! Maybe they were all right, maybe this isn’t where you belong.’_

Asuka clenched her fist in frustration, feeling the nails digging into her palms and fighting back the urge to drive it into the wall of the shower. It took a lot but she resisted, that would be all she needed. A second trip to sickbay in a week, this time for punching a wall in her shower. She clenched her fist harder, trying to ignore the doubt.

_‘No! I do belong here and I’ll prove it! I don’t need them to succeed, I don’t need any of them. I don’t need the captain! I don’t need the instructors or my father! I sure as hell don’t need that silly little civilian that I’m training! I’ll prove them all wrong, I’m Asuka Langley Soryu damnit, I’m not that scared little girl they think I am!’_

She took a deep breath and unclenched her hand, her palms stung from where her nails dug in but she instead tried to shift her mind away from the negative aspects of what had happened. Being like that would get her nowhere. She had suffered some setbacks, everyone suffered setbacks no matter how good they were. All she had to do was figure out what went wrong and fix it. She needed to find out how she could solve the problem.

Almost immediately her mind went to the same place it tended to these days, much to her chagrin, that goddamn civilian. He was the obstacle. He was the key to her advancing. He was the problem she had to solve. It was the training! It was the nepotism, the son of the commander of that stupid facility chosen to pilot when he was useless.

She had spent a lot of time with him over the last few weeks. Saw what type of person he was and what he was capable of. At first, she had seen someone who was completely pathetic, it wasn’t just that he was unable to complete the tasks she had put in front of him it was that he didn’t even seem to care. He had been selected for a special task and he didn’t even care about it. Where was his goddamn pride?

There had been some flashes that had impressed her. A few moments where he took initiative and executed some maneuverers that looked good. Even the moment where he had actually stood up for himself but he had mostly been passive, accepting failure and mediocrity like it was all that was accepted of him.

 _‘I’ve seen him pilot that ship of his so I know he isn’t completely useless.’_ Asuka thought to herself, _‘I know he is capable of something but he just mopes and doesn’t seem to care. Goddamn nepotism, being handed an opportunity like that and just doing nothing with it. Still… maybe I have been a bit hard on him with the missions, maybe I should slow things down.’_

She allowed herself a little smile as she started to formulate a new training regimen in her head. It would be a brand-new series of lessons starting from the basics but advancing steadily. She was going to make a pilot out of him, and earn herself a promotion in the process.

Deciding she was feeling a little bit better she thought to bring an end to her shower. She turned it off and stepped out, barely having time to wrap a towel around her and start drying herself off before hearing the alert of an incoming message. She cursed under her breath and tapped the communicator on her bedside table, “Soryu here.”

_“Ensign Soryu, this is Lieutenant Commander Quinn. You’re been ordered to report to shuttlebay 2 for a special assignment.”_

“Special Assignment?” Asuka answered in confusion, she was about to remind the Lieutenant Commander that she was in fact off duty but thought better of it. He had mentioned a special assignment, an order like that must have come directly from the captain. This was another chance then, an opportunity for her to make good after that shambles in the holodeck.

“I’ll be right there.” She finally said before quickly drying herself off and slipping back into her uniform. Not too long after that she was leaving her quarters towards the nearest turbolift and making her way to shuttlebay 2.

Throughout the journey her mind was racing, trying to figure out just what this special assignment could be. Was it related to NERV? Had another of those ships appeared and the captain wanted her to fight it and lead the other two pilots?

Asuka arrived at her destination, stepping through the door into the shuttlebay. Immediately she was greeted by the sight of the large shuttle, Lieutenant Commander Quinn and…

“You…”

“Asu..” He started to speak but quickly caught himself, “Ensign Soryu.”

“Crewman.” She nodded back at him, “I should have known, my special assignment involves you, doesn’t it?”

She turned to face Quinn, “is the captain not here.”

“I’m afraid not.” He answered her, but rest assured she is very keen to see how you both perform in this task. I’m sure you’re both eager to know what you’ll be doing.”

Asuka nodded keeping her eyes fixed on the Lieutenant Commander. A part of her wished she had ignored the alert not, pretended she was still in the shower. Still, this was maybe a chance for her to put into place the first stage of her new plan. Whatever this was, seemed fairly big, the shuttlecraft located here was not a standard Federation runabout, this was the captain’s yacht.

“Captain Katsuragi has devised a little team building exercise for the two of you. It is quite clear to her that holodeck simulations just aren’t… shall we say cutting it for the moment and wanted to try something more… engaging.” He spoke, Asuka noted in quite a theatrical style, he definitely didn’t come across like any authority figure she had ever encountered before.

“A… team building exercise?” Shinji asked.

“Yes, you can consider this the first proper away mission you will undertake.” Quinn answered, tapping a few buttons on the panel behind him. The image on the screen changed to show that of a Class-M Planet, “Behold the planet Q-13, located about half a days travel from here. Your objective is simple, travel to this planet and perform a basic set of scans. Come back with a report on your findings.”

“Is that it?” Asuka asked, slightly confused and more than a little bit annoyed at how simplistic it sounded, “Simply, go to a planet and do some scans?”

“Not every one of our missions is going to be an exciting one, we are after all an organization built on exploration and seeking out new life. On this planet there could be that new life, and imagine this… you two could be the first to discover it!” Quinn answered with a grin, “Isn’t that exciting?”

Asuka frowned and nodded, “I suppose.”

Asuka couldn’t disagree about the purpose of Starfleet, she knew what the organization was for and knew better than to disagree with the likes of Quinn when it came to talking about such things. She turned to look at Shinji, he looked nervous, Shinji always looked nervous. It annoyed her. Couldn’t he see just how simple this was going to be. A direct trip there, run some scans and come back to report their findings.

“Come on then crewman, let’s get this done.” Asuka spoke up and started to head towards the shuttle. She got herself on board and took a quick look around, it certain was different to other shuttles she had been on. There was a lot more space, and it was laid out more like an office than a simple shuttle.

“A-Asuka…” She heard Shinji next to her as she took a seat at the navigation controls, “Is this… okay?”

“What do you mean, is this okay?” She looked at him, “Of course it is. Do you not realize what this is?”

Shinji shook his head, causing her to sigh in annoyance.

“This is the captain’s yacht, this is Katsuragi’s private shuttle. The only way you can launch this thing is with say so from both her and the first officer.” Asuka explained, “Look, you want to make up for that shambles in the holodeck, right?”

“I… I guess.” Shinji nodded.

“Then let’s go and get this done, you follow my lead and do as I say and all will be fine. We’ll get there and back within a day. Come on, let’s get going.”

\---

_“Captain Katsuragi, your presence is required on the bridge. We have a situation developing.”_

“I’m on my way Ibuki.” Misato tapped her communicator and groaned, setting down her glass of wine and shaking her head. She looked across at a smirking Ritsuko, “Q?”

Ritsuko nodded, “It has to be.”

Misato got to her feet and straightened up her jacket, “Are you coming with me?”

Ritsuko shook her head, “I would but… I don’t quite think I’m dressed appropriately for being on the bridge, besides I’m quite enjoying this wine. Picard has done a fine job.”

“Fair enough…” Misato sighed again, “Just… promise me that you’ll save me some?”

“I can’t make any promises.” Ritsuko shot back, “Don’t worry, I will and I’ll be here when you get back. We will finish this night, one way or another.”

Misato nodded and made her way over to where Ritsuko was sitting, leaning in close and running her hand through the blonde’s hair, “When this is done, when this crap is over with and Q has gone. We do this night again, properly… and next time… we do everything.”

She leaned in closer, kissing Ritsuko firmly on the lips, savouring the moment before having to get herself to the bridge and throwing herself into what was to be stress and chaos. She kissed the woman again on the cheek and then left the room. Barely a few minutes later she was stepping out onto the bridge and was immediately greeted by the sight of a concerned looking Commander Ibuki.

“Captain.” Ibuki nodded, “My apologies for contacting you when you’re off-duty.”

“It’s fine.” Misato waved her hand and moved to the centre of the bridge, “What’s the situation?”

Maya gestured towards the screen. Misato could see immediately what the issue was. On the screen was a Federation shuttlecraft, moving slowly away from the ship. She soon realized just which shuttle it was she was seeing too, the captain’s yacht, her personal shuttlecraft.

“Who authorized that shuttle launch?” Misato asked.

“That’s a question I’d like answered myself.” Maya answered, “Ee only just picked it up a moment ago. It seems it left shuttlebay 2 undetected and has only just appeared on our scanners.”

“This is impossible, only I’m able to authorize the launch of that shuttle.” Misato glared at the screen, this must have been part of the ‘help’ that Q was going to provide them with, “Have we tried hailing them?”

Maya nodded, “We’ve attempted hailing them several times, no answer.”

“Do we know who is aboard?” She asked, already knowing the answer.

“Ensign Soryua and Crewman Ikari are on board.” Maya replied.

“Shit.” Misato cursed, “Okay, let’s get that shuttle back. Try hailing them one more time, let’s see if they answer when I contact them.”

“Of course captain.”

Misato stepped forward, “Ensign Soryu and Crewman Ikari, this is Captain Katsuragi. I do not know why you are both on that shuttlecraft but you have taken it from the Tokyo without authorisation, you are hereby ordered to return to the ship as soon as possible. Is that understood?”

Misato gave them fifteen seconds to answer but was met with only silence. She turned to Maya once again, “Time to get more drastic. We’ll take it back by force. Aoba, lock onto them with our tractor beam.”

_‘What the hell are you playing at Q? What is this little game of yours?’_

Misato kept her eyes fixed on the shuttlecraft, watching as it continued to fly further and further away from the Tokyo. Was this Q’s way of helping them? Had he orchestrated this? Misato could only think or two other possibilities, neither of them were appealing. The first was that their mysterious saboteur had returned and set this up and the second was that Asuka and Shinji had gone rogue.

A bright blue beam suddenly shot out of the Tokyo, enveloping the shuttlecraft and ensnaring it.

“We have them.” Aoba called out.

“Good, bring them home.” Misato ordered.

“Captain…” Maya kept her voice low as she approached Misato, “Do you know what is happening?”

Misato shook her head, “Maybe, let’s get them in first and then I’ll explain.”

“Very well.” Maya nodded and the two of them watched the shuttle being pulled in by the USS Tokyo’s tractor beam. All seemed to be going well until Aoba suddenly called out.

“Captain… something is… happening out there. I’m detecting a large build-up of energy near to the shuttles position.”

Misato’s eyes widened as suddenly on the screen a large blue swirl appeared next to the shuttlecraft. A moment later it seemed to burst to life, a large white light emanating from its centre. She could see the shuttlecraft suddenly lurch to one side, being pulled away from the tractor beam and towards the light.

“What the hell is that thing?”

“It… appears to be some sort of wormhole captain! It’s pulling the shuttle away from us.”

“Get us more power to that tractor beam! We can’t lose that shuttle!” Misato called out.

“I’m trying captain!” Aoba answered.

“Try harder!” Misato shouted back, “Divert as much power as you can from non-essential systems if you have to. We cannot lose that shuttle!”

Aoba said nothing in response but Misato could see him already starting to work at carrying out her instructions. She felt nervous and helpless as she watched the screen and felt her ship start to shake as the power to the beam was increased. The radius of the beam grew, beginning a game of tug-of-war with this spacefaring force of nature.

She nervously bit on her bottom lip, not daring to say anything else lest it disturb the concentration of her crew. Navigation moving the ship into position to try to pull the shuttlecraft back, communications trying desperately to reach the shuttle, Aoba trying to transfer power to the beam and pull the shuttle back.

“Captain! It seems to be working!” Aoba reported after what felt like an eternity, “We’re bringing the shuttle back in!”

Misato heard the words but didn’t allow herself to breathe a sigh of relief just yet, “Good. Keep it up, do not let it go until we know they are safe.”

“Yes captain.”

Her eyes returned to the screen, focusing on the shuttlecraft and watching as it was brought back towards the Tokyo and away from the gaping mouth of the wormhole. The appearance of that left no doubt in her mind that this was Q’s doing. There was no other explanation for it.

“They’re a quarter of the way back.” Aoba called out.

“Good.” Misato answered, “Just stay focused.”

“Captain.” Bresha at communications suddenly spoke up, “We’re being hailed by the shuttlecraft.”

“Put them on screen.” Misato ordered, and a moment later she was greeted with two faced. One looking very confused and nervous, and the other, Asuka, looking very angry.

“Captain!” Asuka spoke first, “What’s going on? We were following your orders and then…”

Misato cut her off, “I’ll explain hen you both get back, suffice to say there has been some-“

She didn’t get a chance to finish her sentence before the feed suddenly cut out. Suddenly the ship jolted wildly and ahead of her she saw the tractor beam cut out.

“Aoba, what the hell just happened?”

“I… I don’t know captain! Some sort of power surge… everything was fine a moment ago!” He answered.

“Get that tractor beam back on them immediately!” She called out but it was already too late. As if detecting its opponents weakened state the wormhole suddenly grew in size and the light grew in intensity. All Misato and the crew could do was watch as the shuttlecraft was pulled violently through the gaping maw of the wormhole.

In Misato’s head there was only one course of action left, “Take us towards it, follow that damn shuttle!”

Her orders came too late though. Before the Tokyo could even start to move towards the wormhole the thing closed immediately. All that was left was a stunned silence.


End file.
